Just had a near miss driving (not our fault), can’t stop dwelling on how serious it could’ve been

[Sooooup]

DH driving doing about 70 in the outside lane of a dual carriageway. Modified car comes up behind us revving and flashing headlights.

DH checks mirrors and indicates to move over left to let them pass.

Other driver swerves into the left hand lane to overtake, must have been doing 80 at least. A taxi had to slam on.

Further down the road we saw they’d been pulled over.

If DH hadn’t have checked mirrors a final time I really dread to think of the consequences of such a high impact accident, for us and the taxi. I know it’s done now, no one was hurt etc but he was already moving into the left lane when they undertook us at speed so it was literally inches or metres from something really terrible happening. DH would have been ok but we were at the passenger side of the vehicle which would’ve been the impact. I can’t get it out of my head and it’s really playing on my mind.

That sounds terrifying. Have a cuppa and hopefully you'll feel calmer soon. I'm so sorry.

Sounds annoying and the driver was an idiot obviously, but Why were you in the right lane if the left was empty?

It wasn’t. There was a taxi there, going about 50/60 so slower than us. Stupid other car jumped in in front of the taxi (wasn’t a gap otherwise we’d have taken it) causing the taxi to slam on.

How about traumatic and terrifying rather than annoying? 🙄

I get it, you play it over and over in your head and can't not things about the what ifs. It's the shock. It'll ease over time. Glad you're all okay.

Replaying it for now is a good thing as it’s your brain dealing with the fright.. the problem comes if it keeps replaying- that’s when you might need some help to deal with it..
I was told by my counsellor to replay it like it was a movie that was happening on a screen..it helped me ‘move’ the memory from an intrusive thought to one that had happened that wasn’t nice but copeable with..

Play some tetris ASAP while you're in this processing phase OP, it's been proven to help trauma and prevent PTSD. It's especially effective the closer to the event you play it. I'm so sorry you were frightened but glad they got their comeuppance.

Thinking on you.
I had accident 2 years ago and still get flashbacks and hate been a passenger.
So probably take you time to get over it.

@Sooooup

im sorry you were scared like that.

my friend is the taxi driver in this scenario, he's going through this all day, everyday now.

he already has PTSD (from other trauma) & a very short fuse. The standard of driving now is going to put him in an early grave (one way or the other) but he's of an age where there aren't really any viable work options.

it IS bad out there. I drive a lot for work, but fortunately I can roll my eyes, call them all the names under the sun & move on.

Hopefully youll be able to put it to one side quickly. Just keep reminding yourself nothing happened, 'what if' is somewhere you don't need to let your brain go.

Thanks ladies. I have played Tetris, interesting that it helps to avoid flashbacks in some people.

I am really just tormenting myself with it tonight thinking omg I could be in a hospital bed or worse now, imagining how bad it would have been. I know this is just anxiety talking but it’s horrid

Whilst these things are always terrifying, I try to reframe them as a positive event. Whilst the majority of drivers are reasonably competent or inexperienced the ones that stick in our minds are the over confident, arrogant twats. They will always be around.

A near miss serves to remind us of this (and of how vulnerable we are). Ideally we drive confidently (according to experience) but also defensively (because of the twats). A near miss reminds us of this and helps us stay safe in the future.

When thinking of the 'near miss' try to appreciate the heads up it gives you to drive safely and defensively.

Sorry to hear you're upset, but you're safe because your DH is a good driver.

These situations are disturbing, but try to see the positive. We all learn from close calls.

Did your DH used to ride motorbikes?

No, he never rode motorbikes! But you’re right, he is a good driver and need to remind myself of that and tell myself we’d have been okay no matter what because of that

I asked about motorbikes, as it's a quite common that they check left changing lanes.

Unfortunately passing illegally on the left is becoming common on motorways and is so dangerous, I had it happen to me last week in a very similar way.

I wouldn't hold out much hope but hopefully the police will give them a right bollocking and they get charged with dangerous driving. They may have been behind in an unmarked car and have it on film.

Just remembered that our local police district do a Roadsafe Roadshow around local schools where they with other emergency services plus HCP's show reconstructions of RTA's to show pupils just horrific they can be.

Passing on the left is not a specific offence. It could be careless/dangerous driving, but not something you could be charged with.

Correct it's not a specific offence, but it's often dangerous to do so and therefore can be illegal.

Rule 268
Do not overtake on the left or move to a lane on your left to overtake. In congested conditions, where adjacent lanes of traffic are moving at similar speeds, traffic in left-hand lanes may sometimes be moving faster than traffic to the right. In these conditions you may keep up with the traffic in your lane even if this means passing traffic in the lane to your right. Do not weave in and out of lanes to overtake.

Which is what I wrote: "It could be careless/dangerous driving,"

Please read posts properly.

weird...

OP, it could have been awful, but it wasn't. There are near misses all the time, most of which we are unaware of (like we may have started changing lanes just as another car does too but they see you and go back before you even knew they were there). You can't dwell on what might have been though, otherwise you'll never drive again!