Party let downs

[PartyLoser]

Does anyone else find it frustrating, when people let you down last minute? Specifically parties?

Had my 40th birthday celebration this weekend. Been organised for a while. Last few months have been rough, with family illnesses, deaths, and such like.

Definitely got a case of why did I bother, when people let you down last minute, or don't even bother to turn up with no message (not that it would change anything).

Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for the people who DID turn up, but really wish I'd spent the money on a weekend away instead.

How many no shows did you have?

Over 30

Oh my word. 30 people?

How many did you invite in total?

Aww op that's shitty of them

About 80 to start with, although some of those did drop due to diaries/work commitments/illnesses.

This drives me crazy! It's the reason why DC never really had a birthday party when they were younger, because so many times I'd spent a fortune and people cancelled last minute after saying they'd come.

We got married abroad last year and had a party in the UK when we got home. Invited about 110, catered for 100, and about 25 people didn't even bother to RSVP. Of those who did, I got a text from about 6 of them on the day saying they couldn't make it and another 10 or so didn't bother turning up. I was so annoyed and slightly embarrassed that the people I wanted to spend time with to celebrate didn't feel the same way back. It was humiliating because the room was almost empty, and I almost wish I'd not have bothered.

I'm sorry that so many people let you down, OP. I hope you had a good time regardless.

I think you've articulated how I feel breakfastdinnerandtea.

I definitely feel I shouldn't have bothered, and I'm sorry you've had this experience too.

Can't help but feel sorry for myself, and I need to shake the funk and be grateful for those who did come....but still

Wow I don't even know 80 people to invite anything. Can't even think of 20 people to be honest!

But yes it's shitty and one of the reasons my circle is getting smaller by the year.
People have become very non-committal, and prioritise almost anything over a previously agreed arrangement. I wasn't raised like that but these days people are constantly told to put their needs and feelings first that this thing happens a lot more than I remember growing up.

My group had become so unreliable that when it was my 40th I didn't plan a single thing with them as I knew I'd be heartbroken by all potential last minute cancellations and I didn't want to risk it. Instead I waited until people asked me if I was doing something and planned things individually with them

I learnt this a while ago and now l jist cba to organise things. Too disappointing