Anxiety, always worst case scenario

[Laurasanford111]

Hi all

I've always been like it, a worrier, I am just a ball of anxiousness and if I'm not then I'm always on edge thinking what will go wrong next .. it's exhausting.

My partner told me to get pro help years ago but never have,.never tried any medication, to relax I do gardening but only helps temporarily.

What little methods do you have to help you?

For example we have a personal issue going on right now, instead of dealing with things as they arise I have gone onto the worst case scenario... I haven't eaten for 3 days I can't sleep properly, I am a control freak and if something happens I can't do much about I lose it... My partner is very much deal with things as they happen, I wish I had that mindset :(

Hiy, I hope you're ok, that sounds really hard, I am exactly the same and it's so debilitating.
I have had lots of therapy over the years but recent cbt really helped with what you're describing. (You can self refer through nhs talking therapies online)
Have dealt with it since I was 3 or 4 so loads of techniques to share.
2 things from recent therapy that helped me-

1- Imagining an infinity sign every time you start to feel the worry and panic starting. The first loop is the past and the 2nd loop is the future and you need to try not 'time travel' and stay in the centre. Sometimes telling myself that grounds me a bit but still working on that!

2- this has really helped but was under the guidance of a therapist and practised over several weeks before it became my 'norm'.
When you feel anxious about something, Mark on a scale 'what's the worst thing that coukd happen and what percentage do you believe that. (Mine are usually 100%)
Then you do the thing and remark what percentage it was actually true. It always drops significantly if you're like me and catastrophise everything. You then have proof that things aren't as bad as you initially think and that you catastrophise. After doing it for a while I found that I now stop myself and think 'it's never as bad as I think it's going to be and I've seen the 'proof from using the scales.'

Another thing, if you're in a heighten state of anxiety you're brain thinks there is a threat. So it is running through every possible thing that could go wrong to make sure it can keep you safe. There's alot in cbt about seperating thoughts and facts, there will be stuff online too.
For when you're in absolute panic I'd really recommend the app Tapping Solutions- no idea how or why it works but it has more than anything for me when I'm at breaking point.

I also have adhd, I don't know if that's a possibility but that puts you in that heighten, anxious 'looking for a threat' state, have some other techniques for that if they would help.

Sorry for the long post, I hope it's helpful!

“Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.”

I understand though and what @Florad says is true.

I think that I don’t believe that I deserve things to go well and so look for the worst case.

You might find this helpful. It's similar to advice above, but is a structured CBT approach which helps move worries into things you can control:

https://www.bupa.co.uk/newsroom/ourviews/worry-tree

I find them really effective. There is an actual worry tree app I've come across before, but not used in anger (I just use the thought process).

If you find yourself thinking of the worst case scenario, pause and think what could be the best case scenario here and then what is the most likely case scenario.

I had CBT, it really helped. Far more than anything else I'd tried before that (self-help, various medications, hypnotherapy, counselling...).

The single biggest takeaway from my CBT that resonated with me was the idea that worry serves absolutely no purpose and is such a waste of energy, because if your worst case scenario happens, you won't feel any better at all for having worried about it extensively first. And if it doesn't happen, well all the worry was again a total waste of time and energy for nothing.

I know it's not easy btw but CBT did teach me lots of strategies and learn more about why I worry and it has really helped. I practice the techniques every day as needed and although I'm sure I will always be an anxious person and sometimes it does all get on top of me, for the most part I'm better than I ever was.