Am I being unreasonable to my husband?

[Catj2108]

I’ve got a week off this coming week. My husband who works 6 days a week (he works very hard for his own business).

He’s decided that we should be going on holiday this week. I don’t want to go. My daughter would have to take time off school. To me it’s not a holiday as it’s still just as hard work being abroad with 2 kids (they are 5 and 2). My son doesn’t sleep the best and last time we went abroad it made his sleep rubbish for weeks after and quite frankly I hated it. It was easier to be at home.

The kids have no summer clothes. And it would be me sorting the insurance, packing the cases checking we’ve got everything. I’d planned to meet my friend this week as well and was really looking forward to it.

Yet now I’m boring. I don’t want to go anywhere. I never do anything he wants to do. We haven’t been anywhere in ages!!

He will not see my point of view at all.

I understand he feels like he needs a break from work but I can’t stand the personal attack against me and he won’t see my point of view

It's a financial risk if it turns out to be a disaster, but you could call his bluff and let him organise a holiday and every aspect of it then spend quality time with DC by sorting food, do bedtimes etc and just watch him either fail or step up and you just let him take the lead.

So he has to choose and book the holiday, how to get to the airport, insurance etc
Buy and pack clothes for him and DC.
Keep them entertained while you are there.
Unpack when you get back
etc etc.

You're just along for the ride.

What an unpleasant man. I think a very serious discussion about minimal levels of respect within the relationship going forward is needed.
And it sounds like he does not do an equal share of parenting/mental load if he cannot see you’ve made completely valid points.

Is he paying the school fine?!

If so, compromise with a mini break.

Why is your week off when the kids are in school? Is that not the bigger thing? My dh works his arse off annd pulls his weight at home (I'm an sahm so in fairness there's not an huge amount to do but he's 50:50 with the kids once he's not working) and I'd say is desperate for a break. But I'd be fairly put out if he booked a week AL if they're in school.

Edited to add- I agree with the posters saying he should be organising the next holiday including packing because that sounds like a bigger issue. I will never get over the poster who's dh thought she was a drama llama about packing and said he'd do it and a week out she's asking when is he going to start and he says calm down. Night before he says to her I'm going to pack now, where's all the stuff. FFS

Tell him to take the kids away then you can have a relaxing week 😉

It is a very unimpressive father who thinks it's OK to take his child out of school in termtime. So YANBU, OP.

Uuuuugggghhhhh husbands.
Honestly you are fully in your right to take a week off for yourself! Not everything needs to be turned into family time - you are a person in your own right that deserves a bit of off time yourself! I understand that your husband sounds like he works very hard, and obviously wants to take advantage of you being off too, but going on holiday with 2 small kids...let's me honest, it's not really time off or a holiday is it. I would just say to your hubby you had made plans for yourself to see friends you usually can't and have a bit of a reset. Surely you can organise a family holiday abroad another time? Your not just a Mum or a Wife, you are a person and that person needs a bit of a TLC too?

@Lovingitallnow
one child is in school not two. Unfortunately I don’t always get a choice when my annual leave is. I’m a nurse. You may request a certain week but you won’t always get it.

Just so your still not annoyed at me for booking a week when the kids (1 kid) is in school I have 2 weeks in the summer holidays so I can be off with both the kids and also I have a week October half term

just to clarify when I say week off I mean I’m not working. I will still be doing every school run and pick up and will also have my 2 year old son at home with me everyday and he will have to come with me to meet my friend

Compromise and do a UK break, much less stressful and less planning necessary, and if you get really fed up easier to get home.

No, he's BU to suggest a holiday with no advance notice!

You could arrange (together) a holiday for one of those weeks you've got off that is also school holidays, but if you do, don't step in and do everything towards it. Make part of the planning, packing and child entertainment his responsibility and don't rescue him if he seems to be struggling with it.

Omg, sorry but I would love this. Holidays with small kids don’t have to be hard work - we’ve been everywhere with ours from a young age and my youngest never slept well (still doesn’t). And you don’t need to take much. Book a hotel with two rooms or get an apartment on Airbnb. You literally need a backpack each. Some sun sounds like it would all benefit you.

No, no, no, no, no. Madly disrespectful of you, no consideration of your needs at all. No consideration of the dcs and their routines. Just selfishly wants a holiday for himself. I'd say 'Send him on his own' but maybe he'd enjoy it, perhaps that's what he's looking for.

I'm not annoyed at all! I'd be annoyed at my husband if he did this purposely.