Puppy and 3 year old

[Roadyjoe22]

Hi we’ve had a puppy reserved since newborn puppy is now 8 weeks and ready to leave next week. My youngest child is 3 years old. Any top tips on 3 year old and puppies. Anything that helped work for you etc with young children and little puppies. Puppy is a cockapoo will be 9 weeks when comes home. Currently is mostly pad trained with breeder but I’m hoping to learn her outside when she gets home. Have you any top tips of puppy training etc :) my 3 year old daughter is extremely gentle and kind, I’m well aware puppies jump nip play bite etc and I’ve tried to explain this to her. I’m also keeping a crate open with a bed in for puppy to have free flow alone time in it she needs to escape the kids!

Why do you assume that because I have two children with additional needs I need to “ improve my life” done sick reported little people on here honestly. You do no ANYONE can have a child born with disabilities? Maybe you should really think how you speak to those people incase you or your child relatives etc end up with a beautiful child with additional needs. We also don’t call it “special needs” in 2024.

yes well aware what foods are toxic to dogs!

Get a large crate for each room downstairs and rigorously enforce the no touching the dog when it’s in its crates. It won’t be easy, my kids have grown up with animals, including two old and exceptionally laid back Labradors, you’re always going to get an occasion when the temptation to try the reindeer horns on is too great or they feed the dog or they fall over on the dog. Caught my three year old lining the bonios up along the kitchen floor once to because Ddog was hungry

@heldinadream this is what I was trying to figure out how to word, I would have thought life was already full on for OP without introducing a puppy which is basically like having a baby again

You will need to create a safe quiet space where puppy will be left alone. Children must be taught that when puppy is in that particular place they are not allowed to go near it. This might be a crate, pen or room with a gate on. You will probably need multiple gates depending on the layout of your home to be able to manage both children and puppy. Puppies eat everything! Mostly they grow out of this but if you're not careful it can be cause expensive vet trips. Keeping things out of puppy's reach including unsafe foods etc can be exhausting with small children so you will need to think about where children eat and play.
Is your pushchair suitable for long walks on different surfaces? Or will you walk them when another adult can look after the children?

You know you already have a lot on your plate so I won't go on about that but I think most people will admit a puppy took up far more of their time and attention than they expected so I would think about how to occupy and keep your children safe while you deal with pup. While toilet training you can end up spending lots of time in the garden. Yes of course the children could come with you but puppy will get easily distracted so they really do need to understand when to leave it alone.

There are some very realistic puppy survival threads on here from which you might find other general puppy tips.

Honestly thanks that you’ve thought life is already full on for me, but that doesn’t really matter to you does it. I wouldn’t have paid £1400 for a dog if I didn’t consider at all how demanding a puppy is, how hard work it is, or if my life not too full on. My life is extremely full on, as I stated above to a previous comment, until you’ve watched your tiny newborn have a seizure and spend weeks at a time in hospital when she was born due to many things, or watched your disabled child be unable to reach any milestone his peers can, or life off 2 hours sleep every single night, you haven’t an idea. Where build different. We also have 5-6 dogs and puppies within the family. We are well aware of puppies chewing kids toys, biting scratching jumping up, my sisters dog chewed her skirting board up cos they forgot to shut be crate over night. I mean. I’ve heard it all. I just wanted some extras advise not small Minded opinions in my children or my life. which some lovely people have got back to me on here with great advice.

p.s will take on the advice to put crate in every room, also very strict on don’t touch dogs crate or bed, ever. That’s dogs space. I will definitely be working on commands and ad I said previously I’m already going straight for outside toileting rather than puppy pads the breeder had used.

Thank you, yes as i said above back to another poster I’m home all day as work from
Home and I have around 2 hours free without the kids to walk puppy when at school and nursery, this will be

for most of the week , so my 3 year old won’t need to keep up on the bigger walks as I can do them without her, but I will of course do a second walk daily with the kids so they can get used to being out and about with her to.

We can only suggest things to think about because, as you rightly point out, we don't know your family or circumstances.

I am reading your post and thinking you're going to potentially have a very tough few months. My poodle cross was a fucking NIGHTMARE, had me in tears as well as my youngest. We all had holes in our clothes and bruises on our limbs from the incessant biting. It took about six months to toilet train, and she came "using puppy pads" allegedly.

After a month I wished I had never got her and was honestly depressed. It took ages to train her to be ok to be left alone, so I was trapped indoors.

i have since learned that poodles are bitey and very high energy. She is highly strung and a nightmare at times.

My youngest was 13 btw and no additional needs.

Now my dog is nearly 10 I find it hard to fully equate my lovely dog with that pup. I am sure i would do it again.

Suppose my advice would be to keep kids and dog separate, make sure you have support (hope you have a partner) and remember it will get better.

I have six dogs and often have 9 to care die and none of them are Cockapoos as they are not a breed I or my family would consider.

Whilst dear looking things a lot of them are not socialised properly and are over excited and reactive.

You must not over exercise it when young so are going to have plenty of room at home and boredom busters as well as peace and quiet at times.

Personally I think you've made the wrong breed choice.

Thank you! Will definitely keep all that in mind

is it just you at home through the day? Or is the children’s dad about?

Housetraining involves lots of rushing outside and then just hanging about out there. If it’s just you you’re going to need a plan about how to manage that without leaving the 3 yr old unsupervised for long stretches of time.

It could only be for a couple of weeks, but a couple of months also isn’t unusual.

Bloody hell OP some of these replies are just bonkers!

crate - have it somewhere quiet and out of the way. Is the puppy used to being in a crate? If not look at some of the crate training games Susan Garrett does

stair gates - perfect for keeping pup and kids apart

lots and lots of chews - search the doghouse threads for recommendations

as for walks I have a spaniel who won’t go out when it’s raining 😂 and actually mental stimulation is much better then lots of exercise so find a trainer who can help with that side of things too.

join the puppy survival thread on the doghouse too as that’s a really good support and lots of great tips

Get a puppy playpen so that you’ve got somewhere to keep puppy safe when he’s not in his crate. So the crate goes in the playpen. The playpen has puppy pads (if you use them), toys, chews, water bowl etc. You can then pop him in there for times when you can’t supervise and/or he needs a break from your toddler but doesn’t actually need to sleep.

Don't feel you have to defend or justify op.

I think good use of stair gates and crate will help everyone be able to manage interactions and learn to be together well.

Teach 3yo to stroke shoulder or chest instead of head, gentle hands and turning your back if you don't like something.

Make sure pup has a space they can switch off in and have lots of toys available to put in its mouth when it wants to mouth.

Advice:

Do not concern yourself with the puppy and children being friends at this early stage. That is for years down the line. Better at this stage they coexist without pissing each other off, this ruining the chance of a friendship when they are older.

That means each getting plenty of space away from each other and not being allowed (or pushed) to interact.

Be prepared for the puppy to take up several hours a day. They just do. Especially when done right with training going on alongside husbandry. That may mean your children have to give up some of your time and focus for a few months (up to two years really, though it will settle over that time) so look at ways to make that work, such as outside help with them.

Decide now what the dog rules are going to be and share them. Maybe even write them down. Everyone needs to follow them. Eg dogs on sofas or not. Feeing from the table or not. Start as you mean to go on.

Puppies need stimulation and sleep in good proportions. Bad behaviour is almost always a deficient of one or a surplus of the other. So if you see bad behaviour first think about what levels of each your puppy is getting and adjust accordingly.

Puppies chew everything. So start right now with enforcing tidiness from your children. If they leave toys are shoes at puppy height, they will get chewed and it won't be the dogs fault.

Don't leave the puppy alone too long and not really at all in the first few months.

Don't expect too much too soon. If you have confident, well adjusted, well behaved dog by about 2-3 years old, you will have done well.

It’s just me in the week but the kids are at school and nursery in the week. Until 3.30. I’m home I work from home and flexible but I am taking 2 weeks off when pup is here . To give full attention. partner is home weekend , but kids also go to grandparents on an Sunday for the day so aren’t home for a chunk of the day on Sunday either

Thank you everyone who’s just replied over last half hour or so, the ones before are absolutely insane. Really appreciate the proper advise from you all. I am taking on board and listening to all.

Instead of crates in every room, you could get a play pen and put crate in there, that way puppy can play with toys etc, away from children. Start training your puppy from day 1, sit, stay, down and wait. Get vets appointments for vaccinations now, vets are usually booked up, so don’t make the mistake we made, due to breeder saying puppy had had his full first vaccinations, which he hadn’t so it was nearer the 13 week mark, before we could take him on his first walks. Stick to boundaries in house, no jumping on furniture, no to dog upstairs, I also trained my puppy not to come into the kitchen until asked, but he had resource guarding issues with food. All these rules can be changed once puppy is older.

for those first two weeks stick to the routine you’ll have when you’re back at work (without the pressure of working)

so pretend to work whilst pup learns to chill in its crate next to you. Even if you just spend time scrolling mumsnet 🤣

don’t try and keep the puppy occupied all the time either as tempting as it is. They need to learn to settle and nap to avoid becoming over stimulated land sharks.

Use their food to train with, you can start with the basics straight away.

Best book ever is Easy peasy Puppy Squeezy because it reminds you over and over again that puppies are babies and they want to make you happy but are learning too. I also learned from it to have TONS of dog toys and teddies everywhere so the second he started biting (as they do as puppies, I got cuts and bruises from him) you hand him a toy until he starts grabbing for it himself when he feels he’s teething. We also did tons of dspca classes.

BUT I do have to warn you that while I adore him to death I wouldn’t do it again. Myself and dh spend as much time with him as my kids, taking him out first thing in the morning and last thing at night, playing etc. the kids love him but wander off after a while on him and if they’re playing chasing and getting extremely excited he runs and jumps so there’s times we have to keep him in. When they have friends over two of them are afraid of dogs and he has to be on a lead or brought out. We have a relative who’s allergic to dogs so same deal. My brother has as and nods at him then gets out of of the room. We can’t go on sporadic days out or trips. When we are in a hurry he knows and inevitably will grab something/ do something. With what you have on your plate I’d honestly wait and I don’t think toddlers and puppies mix, especially having seen him follow and jumped up on our 9 yo he was over excited. Young children have no hope of fending off an excited little puppy. I am sorry but just eyes wide open

Second the suggestions above of a crate within a pen around it with pups stuff in it, especially as a ‘no go’ area for the children. My children are 6 and 9 and honestly training the kids how to behave was harder than I anticipated.
Make sure puppy gets plenty of rest as they are less bitey when not tired.
Start training on day 1

Also I think it's really important to prevent separation anxiety developing. The show cockers and poo crosses I know hate being left alone even for a few minutes, they literally want to come every where with you, even the toilet.

That is a high energy dog. We waited til our kids were school age before getting a puppy (Australian labradoodle, calmer than just a crossbreed) as it requires a certain amount of maturity and discipline on the part of the children. You will have to compensate for that - don't put unrealistic expectations on your kids. Remember too what's cute behaviour in a puppy, not so much in a fully grown dog.
I never used puppy pads - just trained them to go outside - a few accidents but not too many. I crate trained them, which is a good idea with a busy house.
You will just have to be vigilant and never ever leave the three year old alone with the dog.

Exercise and rest for the pup are what I would recommend. I'm not an expert but have had a dog for most of my life. We had a lab pup 2 years ago and the best thing I did was to tune in to when she was tired and enforce sleep. I am a big fan of a crate to create a safe space for the dog. With previous dogs we have put the crate away but this time we have kept it in the kitchen for DDog to rest in when she wants as there is now a mobile baby in the family.Doggy was a bit of a pain for nipping when she was young but it coincided with being tired and a nap quickly sorted it.

Stairgates are your friend. Never leave the kids and dog unattended together.
I'm sure it will be fine, you sound like you've given it a lot of thought.