What would you do if you thought someone had the start of dementia and didn't have anyone to advocate for them?

[paisley256]

Its my ex husband and I saw him last week for the first time in 6 years at a funeral. Im really shocked and saddened to see the changes in him. Slurred speech, couldn't find his words and he seemed really vulnerable.

I know he's having tests for another health problem but I'm worried health professionals may not be aware of his decline. He was incredibly sharp and witty but he's completely changed. I'm not sure how long he's been under their care for them to see the difference in him. I don't really want to sit back and say/do nothing but I'm wary about interfering.

To my knowledge he doesn't have much support. Is there anything I can do? I'm just worried that these changes aren't being noted and that he could do with some support. I live in a different part of the country but I could notify someone of my concerns. What would you do? Thanks

if you know his GP surgery you can write to them. They can't speak to you about him due to confidentiality, but they can read your letter.

I don't know his GP surgery but I know the hospital under which he's receiving tests. Thanks for your reply.

Can you not speak to him and go from there? He may be able to explain more/better now away from funeral.

I think you are a good person, worrying about him.
But I understand your wariness.
Do you know anyone in his current circle of friends? Any of his relatives?

We didn't exchange numbers at the funeral but did spend a while chatting to each other. It was my dad's funeral.

I don't know of anyone else in his life. We split up on good terms 20+ years ago but didn't stay in touch. He seems like he's living quite a solitary life now and as I say I'm nowhere near him but I feel it's wrong to just do nothing.

I do think you can call adult social services to report you are worried of a vulnerable adult .

I was thinking of adult social services. I don't know his address, just his DOB really and the hospital depoartment under which he's receiving tests/care. Initially I thought of writing to the hospital department but adult social care seems more suitable. Thanks for your replies.

How did he find out about the funeral? Is he not on Facebook?
Social services in his area might be best if you're unable to find a way of contacting him just hopefully he's open to accepting help.

We're all from a small community, everyone drinks in the same pubs/clubs, generations of the same families all know each other so he'll have heard word of mouth. Possibly he saw the death in the local newspaper too.

Many people commented on his decline but apart from seeing each other socially I don't think anyone is that close to him in order to help him in that way.