I've sprained my arsehole. Help!

[SprainedBum]

It is agony!

I've got covid. I have an awful uncontrollable cough and some associated (controllable!) gastric distress. I was minding my own business earlier on the porcelain throne relieving said gastric distress and suddenly coughed without warning... and subsequently sprained my arsehole.

I think I've pulled my puborectalis or levator ani or something. It's like constant arse daggers. I can't sit down (currently half sat/half lying sprawled across the sofa) and I lied to my husband and said I'd pulled a muscle in my leg walking the dog, when he asked why I was hobbling gingerly round the house. Every time I cough (quite frequently right now!) It feels like I've sat on an electric fence.

What can I do to relieve my distress aside from sneakily sitting on a hot water bottle? Ive got a 12 hour shift tomorrow and can barely move😭

Hmm well I haven't done this, but I have had an overtight pelvic floor and the pain is as you describe. Do you know how to fully relax your pelvic floor so you get the 'balloon expanding' feeling?
https://www.healthline.com/health/fitness-exercise/reverse-kegel#how-to-do-a-reverse-kegel
Details in link, but essentially lie on back, legs like a frog, relax everything, breathe in with your stomach (push stomach out using abs if needed) and you should feel your pelvic floor lowering as it relaxes. If you imagine your lower stomach area is full of air (the balloon) and your pelvic floor is the bottom of the balloon, then when you breathe air into your stomach the balloon expands. That's your pelvic floor fully relaxing.

It did take me awhile to get the hang of it right enough so it might not work quickly. But if the pain is due to spasm/cramp/tightness it might help.

I’m sorry but (butt?!) 🤣🤣🤣

Pop a damp flannel in the freezer for an hour and then hold it on your anoose. You'll have to keep moving it about, as it will warm up a bit, especially if ass gas escape is an issue. Anyway it may soothe it a bit. Never thought I'd read this on a Friday night! Or answer it, for that matter! 🤣🤣🤣

I think you may have damaged your coccyx.

That's an actual thing?

New fear unlocked. 😬

Every time I look at this sentence, I laugh 😂

OP, I’m so sorry to hear this, I hope you’re okay x

Anusol suppositories?

She could just take it by mouth.

Perhaps one shoved up her bum would be quicker acting in the area it's needed?

No, it's just absorbed systemically. Paracetamol isn't a local painkiller.

I didn't know this was possible. You've unlocked a new fear for me op, never again shall I cough on the lav.

No idea how to fix it. Rest and relaxation and maybe an ice pack would be my best guess.

I've been prescribed Protctosedyl many times for internal fissures. It's a prescription steroid ointment and better than Anusol, (which AFAIK is for external problems), and you'd need to call your GP for it. Also you need painkillers that are stronger than paracetamol but they all generally cause constipation, which you absolutely can do without. Call an OOH service and see what they suggest? I'm not sure about internal numbing creams or ointments for that area not there must be something?

I'm sorry you're in pain.
I'm also sorry I laughed.

Is that what you do just before you push to do a poo?

A photo ?

Sorry to suggest this, but you might want to put a finger v carefully up your vagina to check for bulges and strange shaping on the back wall next to your rectum.

I second painkillers and alternating ice and heat on the painful area

You can get prescription cough suppressants from the GP that work really well and if you dont need to cough to clear your lungs of gunk, might be v helpful for you.

I'd have to crack out (ha) the wide angle lens 😳

This mornings update is a positive one! A night of rest (and actually the first night in what feels like forever that I've not been coughing all night) and things are much better without having to resort to using the kids lunchbox ice packs on my arse, or shoving paracetamol tablets up there. Getting the odd twinge but I'm skipping around the office quite happily today, nothing like yesterday's arse daggers thankfully!

Order a kid's swimming ring