I’m upset my teenager won’t take this great opportunity?

[MrsCherryCrest]

My DS (early teens) has been offered a great career opportunity that he’s refusing to take and I’m trying not to fall out with him over it.

I don’t want to say what it is as it’ll be too outing but it’s a chance to get some free experience that could lead him down the road to a well paid career. I work but I’m a sole parent and don’t have a lot of money so I can’t afford to support him if he goes to college or uni etc when he’s older.

This would be one night a week for a few years where he’d learn skills, build a network and increase his confidence. He feels he does enough with the two hobbies he has, and doesn’t want to do any more. We’ve talked it through and I can’t talk him around.

I’m so disappointed. I don’t want him to end up like me, stuck working in a low paid job, because I know it’s harder to get a well paid job when you don’t have the financial support or network benefits to open the right doors.

Has anyone had to watch their child throw away an amazing opportunity?

Skills and experience are transferable [confused

I know who I'd offer a job to out of someone that has been mollycoddled and funded until leaving university and someone that put themselves out to gain any sort of experience.

There is a huge difference between not wanting to take up a "great career opportunity" that you are not interested in, in your early teens - and not having any work experience by the point you've finished university.

Surely most DC don't have any work experience in their early teens?

It’s not a career opportunity if he’s doing it for free as a teenager. He’s got loads of time to take up similar unpaid ‘opportunities’ when he’s passionate about giving up his time because it’s a goal he wants. Not because Mum says so.

We can only put the opportunities in front of our teenagers and be supportive if they want to take them up. It’s up to them if they don’t want to.

Yep, bribery

I bribed 2 out of the 4 children in my family to take things up. They are both now doing it as a career and are incredibly happy.

Do not do what some other posters are saying and force your child into these decisions in their early teens.

I'm also a lone parent in a low paying job and I don't want to live vicariously through DS. His life, his choice. Of course I don't want him to make the same mistakes as me but that doesn't give me the right to tell him what to do.

What about the other two?

The other 2 didn't need it, they were more energetic when it came to interests

Some kids need bribing, some don't

He`s 13 hes a child let him be one.

Assuming it's cadets or similar, I can see why you feel disappointed, but if it's not his thing - or his peer groups thing - there isn't a lot you can do. What I would do is encourage him to do something of his choosing. PP are correct, there are still transferable skills from lots of things and it would be good for him to demonstrate commitment.