Why am I rubbish at my job?

[fery]

6 weeks into new job, first week by myself (have been shadowing for 5 weeks) and being told I am not doing things quick enough, and getting some criticism.

Now I am someone who takes it to heart, and I do have anxiety which isn't really controlled very well at the moment.

I feel really down about it.

Six weeks is nothing in a new job, and you should be receiving support not criticism. It will take time to get up to the same speed as an experienced person.
Are the people criticising you colleagues or your manager?

Do you actually believe you are shit at your job or are they just being critical and unrealistic?

Do you think you're shit at your job, or has someone told you that? Do you think you're getting the hang of things, and if you were left alone, you'd be fine?

Shadowing for five weeks does sound quite a lot, and I would hope that you would be starting to feel confident with most if the role. It really depends what sort of job it is, though!

Would checklists help, depending on your tasks?
Are there things in Outlook or Word that could speed you up?

I agree with this lady's comments.

Just wanted to say, I have had a week off, come back and the atmosphere is so toxic, the reason for the long shadowing is because it's the nhs.
I'm still getting criticism all the time, and rather than gaining confidence, my confidence is at a low.

Even the experienced staff are in tears due to the toxic environment atm.

NHS is sadly awful for some areas being so toxic .Good thing is unlikely to be you being useless if experienced staff struggling. Have you had any meetings to discuss your progress and goals .
Try and not take it to heart but honestly as x nhs it's near impossible to change .Focus on all the good stuff in your life and look for something else

Well, do you feel you’re improving? I would have said that your first week doing your job fully by yourself would be a steep learning curve in almost any circumstances. Obviously everyone else needs you to perform adequately, and is invested in you speeding up, but if you can feel yourself improving, even if you’re not up to scratch yet, then keep at it and once you’ve bedded in a bit, maybe offer some feedback to your line manager on how training/shadowing might be improved for future recruits?

I agree with this, was just going to say even if you have shadowed for 5 weeks, it could easily depend on how good the training was. I would probably need to get back into it after a week off as well, don’t be so hard on yourself.

The thing is I'm not sure I'm improving anyway, by now my confidence is at a low, and im crying going into work on a daily basis.

I'm seriously debating handing my notice but with nothing to go to I'm worried.

Is it worth my mental health?

I wouldn’t quit now, when you’re only newly doing your job solo, and have just come back from a week’s holiday — I think taking a week out between the end of your shadowing and the start of your job probably made it extra-difficult, as it wasn’t a good time to get out of the headspace just as you were starting the job proper.

I think you should take some time to concentrate on your work, ask for constructive feedback on priority areas to work on, and decide in a few weeks once you’ve bedded in more.

Once, when starting a new job I had a (young) manager who had zero people skills.
After a short period of shadowing I was then working completely on my own and thought I was doing more than ok but 2-weeks later I had a "review" and all he said was that I needed to work faster. That was it, no run down on what was going well and what was not so good, just that I had to work faster (a point to note is that all my work was being done perfectly satisfactory and just as fast as by other staff).
He had no understanding on how to manage people and just thought that telling people to work "faster" was all management was about (which explained the high turnover of staff in his team).
Needless to say I just voted with my feet and left which meant they were short staffed thereby slowing down the amount of work being done (even moreso when a colleague left the following week😆).

Still see a couple of ex colleagues from time to time and they say it is still exactly the same, staff start but are then so fed up that they soon leave.