Partner going through bereavement

[Anyonethere79836492834]

Hi all,

Needing some help and advice here if anyone has been through this. My partner's step-father who he is close to has had cancer for a couple of years and we are nearing the very end now - he is in a hospice on end of life treatment, which is very upsetting for the whole family. It has hit both of us hard.

We have an 18 month old DS and I am worried for him about us all looking sad/not being ourselves. I'm doing ok being happy(ish) around him, but my partner especially isn't able to hide how he's feeling. He is going something horribly difficult and it is completely understandable that he's not able to be happy all of the time, but I'm worried about how this is affecting DS. Am I overthinking this and is it ok for us to not be 100% all of the time with DS. He's too young for us to explain what's happening to him.

Thanks all :)

You can only do your best around your DS. I lost my Mum when my DC were 10 and 14, so they understood what was going on, but they were a great distraction and when I needed a cry, which was often, I would go upstairs. We’ve lost all grandparents and elderly relatives now, each time it’s a blow to our DC who are now adults and it’s very distressing for us to see them so hurt, we do talk about it so they don’t shut down. My eldest takes it really hard and shuts himself away and gets quite angry, we talk and tell him that the person that died wouldn’t want him to feel this way and it seems to work.

I lost a sibling unexpectedly and far too young a few months ago. I couldn't hide my grief and sadness from my 3 year old.
I get up everyday and crack on but there are times I cry and my little one hugs me and knows am sad but obviously has no concept of death., she draws pictures for my sibling and asks to send them in post to them.
I personally think it's OK and even healthy to show these emotions. My little one is very empathetic and makes me feel so much better when she gives me a hug. X