Do you think some people are generally more lucky/unlucky than others?

[PringPring]

I've been pondering on this today after a rough day.

Do you think some people are more lucky/unlucky than others?

Yes and no.
Yes - I think much of life is about what you make of it and how you react to different events/situations.
No- you can be born with or without various privileges and these can have massive impact on how your life turns out.

Obviously. There are 5 year olds out there with terminal cancer. And parents out there who have 5 year olds with terminal cancer.

But all you can do is play the hand you were given.

I think you can make your own luck to a point but not always. You won’t get many opportunities in life if you didn’t work hard/put yourself out there. But at the same time some people are just lucky to be able to access more opportunities than others.

Yes

Yes, obviously some people are luckier than others.

BUT, there is also an awful lot that IS within our own control, i.e. putting yourself in the best possible position, avoiding potentially bad situations, not making bad choices, forward planning, thinking of contingencies, plan B's, etc., keeping yourself as fit, active and healthy as possible, keeping control of your finances and not getting into debt for frivolities, working hard at school to get the best exam results you can, etc.

Even winning the lottery, you have to actually buy a ticket!

I've seen some people get sooo many opportunities and throw them away, then get more and rinse and repeat. I think to myself how the hell are they so blessed that they keep getting these chances.

Give me one chance and I won't waste it!

So yeah, I've witnessed people get blessings upon blessings. It's almost like an example that no matter how many chances they are given they will never change.

Yes. Some people are born into dreadful situations like famine or war.

Well obviously.

'Luck' starts at the point of conception.

Prof. Richard Wiseman studied this and wrote some good books about it.

Leaving aside things you really can't control like getting hit by a drunken driver, his conclusion was that some people are more lucky. The 'lucky' people have a positive attitude and walk around with their eyes open, so they recognise the opportunities when they encounter them.

There's luck you are born with and luck you create.

My husband had many things not in his favour at birth (being black in a majority white country, in poverty, dyslexic and autistic) but he has through hard work created a lot of luck for himself. But he was always lucky in other ways, he is handsome and charming and people like him. So it's a mix of things.

I do think a lot of luck is being able to spot opportunities and run with them.

My mum always tells me I'm lucky, I'm not. I am positive though and when something negative happens manage to flip it into a positive and generally have a "why say no when you can say yes" attitude when opportunities arise.

Fortunately, although being from a poor background it was supportive which makes a huge difference and I have never experienced serious illness, injury or bereavement for myself or anyone close to me.

Luck depends on your outcome on life. There is the age old story about to dog who fell out the window and luckily survived. Some would say the dogs that didn’t fall were more lucky.

I have similar in my family. I have the reputation of being lucky. I tend to make little of upsets and things going wrong, and often flip it into sounding positive.
My siblings tend to dwell more on the bad things happening, so things that I will make sound positive they will tell as a bad luck story.

Also I will go and nicely talk to someone to see if anything could be done, or get on and do something that needs doing, whereas my siblings tend to refuse to do that, and I am prepared to take a chance.

So, for example, one time when we turned up to something and found they were out of tickets. My siblings returned home and sulked, I went round and got chatting to one of the cleaners, who was an elderly lady and struggling, and started to help them with some of the things she was finding hard. As we finished, someone else came up and the cleaner said that I hadn't got tickets. They turned out to be someone involved, and took me in the VIP entrance. According to my siblings I was too lucky for words. But if I hadn't stayed, or gone to help the cleaner it wouldn't have happened.
My dsis said she'd never have trusted the man in case he attacked her, so even if she had been in the same position as me she'd have never accepted the invitation to come in (and he was lovely, simply took me in, got me a free drink and left me to enjoy it)

I know of a couple of families who seem to have suffered from one tragedy after another - none of their own making (eg serious illness, accidents) and often thought how unlucky they have been. Others just seem to sail through life without any misfortune.

It’s all about perspective too. I consider myself to be a very lucky person. I always land on my feet in any situation, and it means I tend not to stress too much because I know everything will be fine in the end!

I was also divorced before 30, had a large chunk of time off work a couple of years ago due to being bullied, and have a son with complex disabilities. I’m sure many people looking in from the outside wouldn’t think I was lucky.

I have been told I am lucky all of my life.
Privileged, fairly attractive, good job, decent, successful husband.

Lots of my contemporaries were more privileged but have been pedestrian, had bad marriages, lost money, etc.

Nobody sees my narcissistic mother, the emotional abuse as a child/adolescent, the recurrent miscarriages.

In my 20s when I was working my socks off, friends who later complained that I was lucky, told me I was nuts. People in my 30s told me it was unacceptable that dh worked 12 hour days and I did all home stuff. Am I lucky, or did/do I have good judgement and a personable countenance.

Mostly I am very positive and can do. It makes a huge difference.

My MIL thinks she isn't lucky, her glass is always half full, others always have more. She never sees all the good stuff.

I think it's cyclical for everyone-good runs and bad runs, but for some people the bad stuff is awful, and they seem to get hit with awful thing after awful thing. A friend of mine found out her h was cheating on her with her best friend on the same day she started a new job, which she subsequently lost as she was not able to cope with the marriage situation at the same time. Her daughter was then diagnosed with a serious illness. A year or so later her other daughter was seriously assaulted. Then her house burned down due to an electrical fault. All that in the space of two and a half years. And yet she was the most positive, kind person. She managed to come through it all and now her luck has turned, a few years later she met and has now married a lovely man, her daughters are both on the road to recovery, she is doing well at work again. It was an awful run of bad luck though.

Yes. I think I’m unlucky. But I also think one can make joy and bliss and meaning even when unlucky. Perhaps more so in some ways.

However, I do occasionally look at people round me (sometimes not even nice people) with wonderful children, wonderful pets, wonderful parents, a wonderful home, good health, a wonderful job – OR AT LEAST ONE OF THESE THINGS - and think why not me? I’m not a negative person, I’ve tried my best, unlucky I guess. If I ponder on it too much, it makes me sad.

(Germaine Greer once said that Luck is another word for privilege, although I don’t think that’s the whole story at all, and maybe she didn’t either, there is perhaps something in that../.)

Yes some are more lucky and they're some things (such as health) you can't change. But there are lots of things you can change, creating opportunities in your life and therefore creating your own luck.

Someone's like might seem perfect now, but who knows what's down the road.

I think so

Some people just fall on their feet

I also think good luck tends to cascade and the same with bad luck.

eg. Health issues bring financial issues bring social issues bring housing issues and so forth.

I think most people will have something or someone who is positive or supportive in their lives as well, so it’s very difficult for them to imagine just not having any privileges or luck in life as such. As for a “positive attitide” that doesn’t mean such people have any special merit necessarily ; it can just mean more self-serving confidence. It’s complicated and really should not be reduced to attitude or positive thinking.

I mean yes. The people born and living in Palestine are pretty unlucky right now.

I have seen many women who alwaya seem to get pillars of strength in all walks of life... a superhero father who treats her as a princess, 10/10 caring loving husband who treats her as a queen , a best coworker/boss who will support them. I have seen atleast 4 examples like this personally.

While some women just take all kinds of shite from all sides but keep going with no emotional, physical or fininancial support.

However, the first groups keeps sulking about the few things they could not score while the second one has surrendered to the unfairness of life and not shed a tear.

Interesting question OP.

I think "luck" doesn't really exist, I think it's more timing, being in the right place to leverage an opportunity.

I think the "lucky" ones are those who can see a situation and understand how to take advantage from it.