Should I fight for 50/50 custody

[madeofwaxlarry]

I had agreed to have DS8 six nights a fortnight and for him to have 8 nights a fortnight with his dad. His dad works for himself and is able to do school drop offs and pick ups whereas I work full time in the city. Now we're coming up to the split I'm reconsidering whether I should fight for 50/50. Will my son feel like I don't love him enough if I accept 6 days? I agreed to 6/8 because I was thinking it will be better for him to be with his dad than at after school care. The 6/8 schedule we agreed allows me to have every other weekend and also every single Sunday afternoon. Should I fight for 50/50 for the sake of it being 50/50?

I want to maximise my time with my son but is it worth fighting with his dad for more weeknights when I might not get home until 7pm anyway

I would agree it with a review date. Eg try for three months and then revert back to 50/50 if it's not working. Would your ex agree to that?

Whatever is best for your son.

I think in most circumstances it’s better if a child has one main residence. To me it seems a bit destabilising having two homes - maybe? However life isn’t perfect and your circumstances may make this difficult. A trial might be good as pp suggested.

You still have plenty of quality time with him and will see him every weekend. Many children don’t see a parent 50/50 and I speak to many children in this situation and they don’t feel less loved by the non-resident parent unless that parent is actively not bothering with them. Quite a few children don’t enjoy 50/50 as they don’t have a main home and are constantly swapping around and having to remember all their things. Just think about what is best for your son - you already seem to have weighed this up when thinking about after school care. Honestly it’s quality over quantity.

Unless you’re worried about how dad cares for him, I think it’s better to be with a parent than in ASC.

Are you paying any maintenance?

I think see how it goes in the future and you can always re-visit, but it's always better for children to be with a caring, present parent and in their own home than a childcare provider. I have done a long London commute and gotten home 7/8pm and honestly, while it was nice to see my dc before they went to bed, it wasn't quality time. Sometimes I even worked later on those days to avoid interrupting bedtime and to get work done so that I could be fully present on the other days when I didn't have to commute. It actually sounds like you have a nice balance that allows you to work but also have family time, while your dc has plenty of time with his dad too.

Agree. I didn’t see my father much. It’s a long story. But was probably closer to him in a way than my mother. People get very confused on the issue of quality over quantity, I think. (Though of course this can be a complicated issue).

Crudely put, children are not like cakes you need to split 50:50. It’s really not necessary and may be disadvantageous to the child.

Yes I have calculated my maintenance payments based on 6/8

You need to do what is best for your DS. 50/50 just for the sake of it is rarely in the best interest of the child imo. What the parents want shouldn't come into it.

I agree.