So, went off to the allotment earlier today. Very windy but was taking down an old plastic greenhouse to replace the one which had been ripped apart by the gales last year. Allotment at this time was completely deserted.
Now the greenhouse had planks surrounding it with bricks to weigh it down. I forgot I was in my 60's, and whilst balancing on the bricks as though I was a ninja, tripped and fell backwards flat on my bum onto the rhubarb patch. So, I was lying there on my back with legs and arms in the air just like a turtle that had been flipped onto it's back.
So, whilst I was laughing and thinking bloody good job no one is here to see this and how the hell am I going to get up ( old rhubarb patch and very lumpy!) a stealthy older allotment holder rounded the shed and looked at me open mouthed, like what the hell is she doing!
So, I said, dont worry I just had a little trip, nothing to worry about....rolled onto my side, to try to get up on my hands and knees and the bloody wind blew the remnants of the cover over me....anyone encountering this must have thought I was about to be rolled into a big hole ready to be covered with 6ft of soil.
Managed to struggle free, got on my hands and knees and blew the biggest fart ever straight at him!
Finally managed to get on my feet, mustered as much dignity as I could, said a cheery goodbye and limped back to my car to drive home.
Looked like a pig that had been rolling in muck. After such a traumatic start to the day, I am now showered with my feet up enjoying a brew.