Anyone else having a bad day?

[BadDay2024]

I had got my hopes up about a new job, but now looks like it won't work out. It would've been a big (international) move so not something to take lightly, but I spoke to the recruiter again this morning and I doubt anything will come of it.

I am so unhappy in my current job, it's such a toxic environment, and as a family we were hoping for a new overseas adventure, so the other role seemed like a light at the end of the tunnel.

Just after I spoke to the recruiter, I had a call from a colleague who had a pop at me for excluding her over something. I had spoken to her direct report who exclusively manages the thing we were discussing and senior enough to take calls on everything around this something - ie this person is the Head of Something. It was literally a first call on something so still plenty of time to bring her in closer if needed, yet she had a right pop. And she's someone I consider one of the few people I'm close to at work.

I feel like I can't do right for doing wrong (see above: toxic environment) and just want out, but there's nothing else around, I'm the main breadwinner by a long stretch, and my little glimmer of hope for a way out has just been squashed too.

I'll be ok but I'm disappointed the other thing won't work out and my colleague's rant has made me teary. So I'm just offloading I guess. Thanks MN therapy.

That's rubbish OP & it's natural to feel disappointed, the feelings will subside though, don't forget & there will be good things & better days.

I've had a shit morning - nothing dramatic but things go wrong - no point wallowing - can't change them now so sitting here with a coffee planning how to make the rest of today a little less shite. Regroup & go again!

Fingers crossed for you a brilliant opportunity is just around the corner. Compassion for the ranty colleague? Maybe she's hating it too and feels insecure about her position or that you are trying to one up her which is why she reacted so strongly - hope you can work it out!

Thank you @muckymayhem for your kindness.… which has actually made me teary again which indicates that I’m not handling things well. I’ve been close to burning out a few times over the last couple of years due to this toxic environment.

On one level I push it all to one side and just crack on. On another level I’m desperate to get out. Sometimes the desperate side wins. It takes a lot from me to suppress that side, it’s tiring.

And I’m bracing myself for another difficult meeting this afternoon with more peers that give me a hard time / don’t want to collaborate but make out as if they do.

The other job would’ve been hard on DH and DC, though I know they would’ve coped with a move, as we/they have before. But that is what I would put my family through if it meant getting out…..

Aw OP , are there any similar jobs like the one you had your hopes on? Keep looking! Hope things work out for you.
I'm having a bad day too, not feeling well, problem after problem in our house and job angst. Also have to bring dd to a hospital appointment along with toddler ds who will not sit still. Have nobody to leave him with. Stress and problems everywhere but hey at least I can grab a Costa hot choc and some stuff in M&S on the way home..silver linings 😅

No @Mystro202 sadly not. I’m still discussing it with them so let’s see, but I think I’m too expensive for them!! i hope your appointment goes well and that your job angst is manageable…. Enjoy the costa!

It's the money which is the obstacle with the new job? Any wriggle room at all?

This is what I’m trying to see @SheepAndSword but I think their top offer will still be too low.

So, so difficult when you are stuck and tired and burnt out with it all.

Can you take a holiday or a few days off just to get a bit of a reset / rest / perspective? So hard when you are continually "in it". Even getting out of the office for a five minute brisk walk might help dispel some of the feelings of being trapped or powerless as a short term fix.

The other thing I'd recommend to look into when you've "got a minute" is getting a coach. It's not for losers!

My very dear friend at the top of her high stress (because...people!) profession in did this recently in similar circumstances - and she's the last person I would have ever have thought would "need" to do this - but it really helped

a) to have a sounding board and really unpick some of the issues so she could regain a sense of purpose, control and clarity & b) to strengthen her resolve to get a workable strategy in place after looking at ALL the options. Basically to retake control of her career & life.

She's moved on & is doing something still high stress but with choice and purpose - not easy but definitely better and with goals / timeframes intact. Much much better than continuing to be stuck.

Good luck! You aren't alone! ( Fuck them all!! 😉😉)

You are so kind @muckymayhem 🩷 and have provided some great food for thought.

I’m totally exhausted tbh but we have a nice holiday coming up at Easter so only a couple more weeks to go.