What did you do for your 40th birthday?

[NotmySundaybest]

Mine is upcoming & I'm looking for inspiration to plant ideas with DH!

Hired a restaurant (about 50 of us) next to a nightclub in which we had a private, roped off area. Plus a long weekend away to Marrakesh with then boyfriend (I was recently divorced).

I had a holiday in Madrid, and was in the Prado museum on the day.

Nothing, it was during COVID. I wanted to go to a spa.

I feel a bit sad and sorry for myself as my parents and siblings were going to gift me the spa. When COVID hit and the spa wasn’t possible, I said very clearly and firmly and repeatedly that I didn't want any gifts and couldn't bear the thought of opening them in a different country without being to share the moment with them as that would be just too sad. They spent a fortune (way more than the cost of a spa) sending me random gifts that I couldn't really use.

A few months later I had cancer and was very unwell.

Then I was better (still knackered and with side effects but in remission tf) and the pandemic was 'over'. I would absolutely kill to go to a spa but can in no way afford it and obviously I don't expect it as they already shelled out megabucks on the gifts. I would love to have a cake to celebrate my birthday belatedly with my family (this was also part of the original plan) and there has been vague noise about tjis but nothing ever materialised. As I am 43 now I think I just need to let it go but I am still a bit sad. Whenever I have a check-up I wonder if I'll make it to 50.

Yes I'm BVU and I need to get over it.

OP do what makes you happy and communicate any wishes clearly to your family/friends.

Went to Paris with dh & had lovely romantic long weekend without dc

Went to St Tropez for a week with dh and dd

I had dinner out with my dh and dcs on the day, then had a small party in my house at the weekend. Invited close friends, family and all kids were invited too. I think everyone enjoyed it. It was stressful in the run up and I don't know why.

I've just been to a friend's 40th in the upstairs of a pub in London and it was good too. So expensive though.

DH took me to New York for a long weekend. My parents looked after the kids and dogs.

Unless your DH is really good at organising I would just plan it yourself or you could end up disappointed by planting ideas and then not getting a celebration you really want.

I organised my own evening out, booked an area in a pub, invited friends.

DH threw me a surprise party. I thought we were just going out for dinner, but he pulled up outside a local golf club - about 60 of my friends and family were there, including several from abroad. He had sorted out drinks and a buffet, decorated the place with photos, collected video messages from people who couldn't make it, my sister did a speech etc. etc. It was so lovely.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any better he stood up to announce that he'd booked us a surprise week in The Maldives - and had already sorted out jabs, travel AND childcare for our 3DCs (who were 3-8 at the time, and it was term-time). It was an amazing break from mundane mum life that I really needed!

He's still dining out on what an amazing husband he is, 17 years later. Yeah, yeah....

@Girliefriendlikespuppies I had a barn dance too! Hog roast and hay bales in the village hall. Dance floor packed all night. Had the best time!

Dh did a surprise dinner for my thirtieth in London with a nice hotel etc. The next day we went on a surprise trip where other friends joined us for the weekend. It was lovely, BUT, I found it all quite overwhelming. I think DH also found it stressful tbh.

This time (40th) I said please let me organise it. He did loads of work (ordering food for the party with me and getting people from the various train stations). But I really wanted to know who was coming.

Not everyone likes surprises I think.

I can't remember what I did on my actual birthday, but I had a big party (125 guests) with caterers, a photo booth (and torrential rain!)
We also had a Caribbean holiday and I had a few spa days with different groups of friends.

I had a nasty dose of 'flu, had it again for my 50th. Going to have a really big birthday this year and I have a sort of dread that the family are planning something. I loath surprises so sort of hoping for another dose of flu 😂

What I wanted to do was go for a few days and look round Chester, as I was born there, with DP, and then he was going to organise a party for friends and family when we got back. What I did in reality was get rushed into hospital, and stayed there for a fortnight instead. Not my idea of how to spend my 40th! If I could do it now, I'd delay it by a few months, then go to the Maldives again, we have been once and it was heaven!!

I was at a friends rescheduled 40th party. It wasn't actually her birthday. They made a fuss of me at breakfast which was nice. But her family were a bit puzzled why I had 40 balloons. 🤣

DH took me for a surprise weekend to Amsterdam. Was lovely (but freezing) fab hotel. The best part of my 40th birthday present arrived 9 months later... in the shape of my youngest DD!

Weekend in Waldorf Astoria NY

Erm let the kids pick activities for the day, had a massive strop with dh because the day was obviously shit, the strop became a massive argument and by the end of the day we were questioning the whole marriage. Not my finest hour!

I think the main takeaway here is don't let other people decide what to do lest you don't like it. And if you do allow that to happen, don't then be a dick about it.

It was during COVID, but I had drinks and a nice meal at home with dh and dc - I'm pretty sure we ordered fresh oysters (my favourite) and some other nice seafood and dh prepared it for dinner for us.

To be fair, this is probably along the lines of what I would have done even if not COVID. I'm pretty sure we did the same for my 30th (but there were no children back then). I'm not really a big fuss over birthdays person.

Dinner at the Fat Duck followed by breakfast and lunch at the Waterside Inn where we stayed at. I organised a long weekend in New York for DH's 40th staying at the Waldorf Astoria.

Mine was during lockdown. I did some yoga, read a book, went for a walk, drank champagne, played a board game… dd1 made me the most amazing cake (took her a whole day!). Tbh it was pretty much a perfect day although I would have liked to have been able to go out for dinner.

I went out for a meal with a group of 8 ladies, then we went to Laser Quest. It was great fun.

Big party and my sons' band played! One of their other friends sang too. She's now my DIL! It was amazing.

I went for a meal at a nice local restaurant with DH and DD (April 2021). Got married in the September though. Just had DH's 40th and DD's 11th on same day! Went to Edinburgh for a long weekend, had a nice family meal with his mum, stepdad, siblings, their kids etc. And on the day I took leave and was going to take him to a posh restaurant but he said as we were having dinner out with dd as her birthday as well and she was at school he said let's do it another time as too much food! So I took him to the cafe lol