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Not happy, some advice

6 replies

avrilla · 10/03/2024 08:56

I’m really upset at the moment, I had a baby 4 weeks ago, have a young toddler and older child at home, we all live at home with their dad, my husband. This morning I’ve had a card which was lovely, a few hours later I did wonder if I had any flowers, so I asked my husband have I got any flowers ? His answer was no, I asked why, he then went on to say in a funny tone because I haven’t had chance to get any yet, that would’ve been fair enough but he proceeded to tell me I was cheeky and unbelievable for asking for flowers, he can’t believe I’m expecting something and made out like I’m really grabby.
So I got upset, it’s Mother’s Day ffs, am I actually cheeky for expecting a small bunch of flowers ?
He then goes on to say how all I’ve done is moan lately, how I’m an emotional wreck etc
I’ve just had a baby so yes I am still emotional. But the only time I’ve moaned at him is when he’s taken a horrible tone of voice with me, which is quite frequently atm, and I’ve had to pull him up on it several times recently.

He’s a hard working man and pulls his weight with the kids. But he does have this horrible side to him and talks to me like shit alot of the time, and he doesn’t seem to see why that might upset me ? He is overwhelmed with work yes but I don’t think that is any excuse to speak to anyone, let alone your wife, like that.

So now we’ve had an argument, I’m crying on Mother’s Day, no doubt that’s because I’m an emotional wreck. Not his fault, it never is. Can never say sorry unless it’s forced.
I think I’m a good person, I look after all our kids to the best I can, cook all his food, make him lunches for work, wash his clothes, clean the house and expect nothing but love off him, and apparently I’m cheeky for expecting some flowers on Mother’s Day ?
I’m not being unreasonable am I? Do other Mother’s think they’d get some flowers on Mother’s Day too?

OP posts:
Squiggles23 · 10/03/2024 09:02

Hi OP,

Congratulations on the new baby 💕

Tbh I think you do sound a bit exhausted/emotional which I’m sure is to be expected. New baby creates lots of pressures. Difficult to comment about your partners time etc without being in the situation.

It wouldn’t bother me not getting flowers. It is also still very early so you could have got them later today. You got a card so it’s not as if there hasn’t been any thought.

If I were you I would try and let it go, it’s just flowers after all.

Maybe suggest going out for lunch or something as a treat instead if you feel up to it? X

whowhatwerewhy · 10/03/2024 09:09

It wouldn't bother me not getting flowers. I think maybe you have other issues and this has highlighted them .

avrilla · 10/03/2024 09:30

But being called cheeky and unbelievable that I'd like some flowers on Mother's Day ?
It's not asking much is it ?
I do everything around the house and don't moan at all.
I'd be happy with a bunch of daffodils I don't expect some extravagant bouquet

OP posts:
Bananawotsit · 10/03/2024 09:34

I don’t think a bunch of flowers/small gift is too much to ask tbh and not too much effort! But sounds like he is being a dick tbh. You had a baby 4 weeks ago and he’s having a go at you and calling you grabby?
It may be that everyone is stressed, knackered and overwhelmed atm but to show a little bit of kindness shouldn’t be too hard for him surely?
could you talk to him when you’re both calm - say you know it’s a lot with the new baby and work is hard but that you’re feeling a bit unloved and exhausted and could do with a bit of extra TLC? Sometimes it needs to be spelled out for them.

hope the day improves and he at least apologises.

WandaWonder · 10/03/2024 09:37

If I want flowers I buy them, sure it is a lovely thought to be given any present but this need to have flowers to means you have other issues with him

If it was just the flowers you could just buy them

Starlightstarbright3 · 10/03/2024 09:41

Does he normally get flowers ?

i would say your issues are bigger than the flowers .

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