Are those baby sleep apps that give you the timings for naps and wake windows really essential?

[strawberryjeans]

SIL swears by it for our niece but all I see is her in a frenzy rushing round trying to get back for precisely 12 minutes past two, or the whole day is ruined and they’re all guaranteed a bad nights sleep? She says she would not be without it but to an outsider it just seems to just cause anxiety and angst. For anyone unfamiliar the app sends a notification when baby is ready to sleep, by its calculations for age and stage and feed patterns.

Really? I’m pregnant with our first and know how much our lives are going to change beyond what we can comprehend, but I really don’t want my day to be dictated by an app. I think I would find that limiting and extremely stressful.

I expected up until now that I would learn to read my own baby for tiredness cues and begin to try and settle them to sleep when they seem tired, if I get stuck I would turn to relatives or friends with lived experience, MN or ask the health visitor for what’s normal developmentally sleep wise at different stages. SIL laughed at me when I said that and said I had no idea and that technology is there to make things easier.

I tried it for a week and it caused me so much stress I deleted it. Now I just go with the flow and baby naps whenever and I just try and make sure the nap time adds up to about 3/3.5 hours currently as that seems to be what he needs.

I think it depends what kind of person you are, and what kind of baby you have though as to whether you'd find it invaluable or an anxiety inducer.

Of course they’re not essential. Humans existed for millennia before the smartphone was invented.
when my DC was born, mumsnet was in the big row with Gina Ford (SWMNBN) who was a massive proponent of putting your child into a routine. The friends who followed her method tended to swear by it, but were hellish to socialise with.
you find out what works for you. Good luck and enjoy!

With my first son I logged every sleep and every feed

I don't know what I was thinking.

Second son, I didn't even have the app. :D

It was really, really useful for DD1 who was an epically shit sleeper. Getting naps right really did make a difference to nighttime sleep, and good nighttime sleep made a difference to life.

DD2 is a much better sleeper, so I’m way more chill.

Not essential at all I was completely baby led with feeds and naps but it is sort of handy to see what baby’s’ general routine that develops (and changes!) so you know when the best time to have an uninterrupted cup of tea

I’ve never used one for either child. My baby sleeps fine, at 3 months he sleeps through the night. He naps when he wants and feeds when he wants not when an app tells him he should. He’s my second child so fits in with my dd and naps when we’re out. My less stressful then an app.

If they were essential how do you think people survived in the not-very-distant past when such things didn't exist?

Best thing to do with a baby is let them develop their own routine and sleep/eat/everything else when they need to when they're small.

Not essential. The women I knew who used them became frenzied messes. They ended up quite isolated as they were a nightmare to socialise with. I reconnected with one a few months ago and she said she had no idea why she did it. Just pure trenches mentality. She really regrets it as she made no mum friends as she was so obsessed over naps in cots. The other mum had baby number 2 and didn't even start. Baby napped in the pram out and about.

You will be fine OP.

We managed without them 20 years ago so I'd say not essential.
My friends that have babies now and use them seem way more stressed than my friends who had babies when I did and just went with the flow.

I’d say depending on a lot of factors they can be useful, definitely not essential and certainly not needed by everyone.

Where I found it useful is with 3rd baby and feeling spread quite thin it would remind me that they were due a nap so I didn’t miss the ‘sweet spot’ of putting them down to sleep. I definitely would miss tiredness cues due to running around after the older 2 kids and other distractions. Also found it helpful for getting a sense of roughly what the wake window was for my baby at any given time as they can gradually go longer between naps and would otherwise find myself trying to put my baby down too early based on what I was doing (and seemed to work) a few weeks prior.

With my first baby I had a lot more headspace and time to notice her cues and I wasn’t so fussed about being hands free during her naps so let her sleep on me, in the sling etc. wouldn’t have made sense or been necessary to use an app then.

I found it handy because as a first time mum I had literally no idea what a baby sleep schedule was! I

I had one dc that needed the sort of nap schedule you describe - for them an app to keep track would have been extremely useful.

I had another DC who was much more flexible and o don’t think it would have been necessary.

My DSD used something (I think she employed a sleep advisor 😟) and I have to say her DS slept like clockwork. He would go to sleep when he was put down and either wake up naturally or be woken up if he went past the prescribed time.

It was very rigid and meant when looking after him any activities/ outings etc had to fit very strictly to the times and no room for spontaneity but they all slept well!