3 month old wants to sleep at 6/6:30pm

[user666555]

Hello,

Posting here for traffic.

My three month old (CMPA) baby is really struggling with sleep at the moment. She has cat naps all day. She sleeps for around 30 minutes, wakes up, is tired again 30-40 minutes later wants another nap and the whole cycle repeats itself until around 5:30-6pm where she is EXHAUSTED and crying. I'm not sure if I shouldn't be doing this but I try and prolong her bedtime until 7pm as I'm worried that if she goes to bed at 5:30/6 she'll wake up really early. She's been waking up at around 6am and that's when she's sleeping at 7pm.

My question is, if I do start putting her to sleep at 5:30/6pm, won't she just start waking up around 5/5:30? She wakes up 4 times at night for a feed to so if she does wake up at around 5 I'll hardly be getting any sleep myself - obviously I want to take her lead and do what's best for her, but I'd be lying if I said that I would be so sleep deprived waking up at 5am everyday. I don't have much help with her overnight etc so it is mostly all on me, I don't want to be so sleep deprived that it impacts my ability to parent hence why I try and get her to sleep at 7 as I can handle waking up after 6.

Again, willing to follow her lead, if this is what she needs then I guess I'll just have to get used to it

Whaat?! Defo just put her to bed! All of mine (I’ve got 4) used to go to bed early if they were tired and most of the time they slept in later too so it was a win win situation. My only comment would be that as she’s only 3 months old the goal posts will constantly moving and what works this week might not work next week with sleep!!

3 months old. Follow the child's lead.

@Matilda1981 so them sleeping earlier made them sleep in too? I know it probably sounds crazy but it's been a real struggle as I've been battling with the doctors in regards to her CMPA symptoms as she'd just cry all day in pain. Now that, that has finally settled somewhat I want to start working on a gentle routine.

But all of that has left me absolutely drained. She would cry constantly in pain along with other symptoms and the doctors wouldn't really take us seriously.

If she does wake up at 5 I guess I'll just have to suck it up and get on with it

Do you have any other children to look after? If not I think at 3 months you are still led by your baby, if they wake up at 5am
you just wake with them for an hour then have a nap when they do? Their routine will continually change at this age, dropping feeds at night soon too but I wouldn’t hold their bedtime back if they are tired (I would maybe try and work on the napping though. Have you tried getting them back to sleep when they wake after 30 mins rather than feeding etc. or take for a long walk to get them through one sleep cycle into another)

@NeedtostopusingMNsomuch nope. No other children. She only cat naps for 30 minutes at a time so I can't nap when she naps as by the time I start falling asleep she's always awake. When she does have her 30 minute nap I whizz around like a crazy woman trying to get everything done before she wakes up

No other children???

Take it easy on yourself, please.

Sleep when the baby sleeps, clean when the baby cleans.

I wouldn't stress as it will all go to shit in the 4m regression, sorry to be the barer of bad news 😫😂 follow their lead if they are sleeping 11hrs that's incredible

Maybe have a look at The baby Whisperer/ EASY schedule if you want a rough routine and help with naps

https://www.snoozeshade.com/pages/tracy-hogg-easy-method

I still don't understand it but with all of mine, the adage sleep breeds sleep has certainly been true. It could be a load of nonsense but I saw something that said the cortisol from when they're overtired and cranky makes it harder from them to get into a really deep sleep when they do go over.

Also I agree with a previous poster. Don't even stress about it until after the 4 month regression. It fucks everything up anyway.

To be honest I feel as though she's kind of slightly entered the sleep regression. A few weeks ago she would nap for 1.5 ish hours, she'd also only wake up 1/2 times for a feed at night. However, we were battling with the CMPA issues.

Now that that's sorted, it seems as though she may have entered an early regression of that being fussy, fighting naps, then only having short naps and waking up at night. Previously she'd go back to sleep at night whilst feeding, now she cries when I put her down after a feed. Obviously she is still a young baby and I understand that she does need the night feeds etc, but I defo do think we've started on the sleep regression already 🫣 although I'm sure it'll probably get worse than it already is

You are a saint for coping with that nap schedule, it must be so exhausting, and you are up multiple times in the night, really feel for you. I would definitely get to the bottom of the short naps and then there will be a lot less pressure on any sort of bedtime / wake up time

I used to let Ds nap at that time but not proper bedtime. Aim to let him nap around 5.30pm. So baby just napped in living room until whenever. Would then take him up to actual bed with me at more like 9pm

My 8 month old started going to sleep at 6.30 when he was 3 months old and still does now. It's dreamy. He wakes up at around 6.30, although does sometimes wake up in the night too.

@ohfook I've just had a look at 'Sleep Breeds Sleep' online and I'm so confused.

You'd think it's the opposite that if baby is more tired during the day they'll be so tired that they'll sleep most of the night. It's actually quite interesting!

I approach it one nap at a time, starting with the first one of the day. The better I can get that, the easier the rest follows.

I found that regardless of going to sleep, my son had had enough by about 6pm, so we'd go up and chill together on the bed. Even if he didn't sleep til much later, he was happier for it.

He's coming out of the other side of the regression now, and the 30m naps are sometimes as long as 3h!

At three months I'd focus on a nice and calm environment.

This made me laugh. Sadly mine are too old to follow this advice, but wish I had!

@NeedtostopusingMNsomuch thank you. Honestly don't know how I'm still functioning if I'm honest with you. I do feel as though when I'm severely sleep deprived it impacts my MH and worsens my anxiety. I've started taking Sertraline (sp?) to be able to cope with the MH side of things.

I just feel as though I'm just about surviving through this phase of my life. I love my DD to bits but this is probably the hardest phase of my life

It’s so bloody hard at that age - I just followed the babies lead. Regardless of the time if she was tired she slept, it was brutal though as I was constantly tired

We got into a better routine around 4 months, and didn’t seem to have the sleep regression that others talk about - probably because that was the only point she started to sleep 8 hours in one go.

As hard as it is, focus on when the baby needs sleep - the housework can wait, I lowered my standards massively - but it isn’t forever which is the main thing to remember - you’re in the depths right now, but it gets better

There's a reason why sleep deprivation is a form of torture. Its hell and i'm not surprised its impacting you MH. You need to take the lead of your baby. Let baby sleep when they wants to sleep and try and sleep when baby does. I had a high needs baby who wouldn't sleep longer than 30 mins unless in my arms. I decided to co-sleep and it was a game changer. Longer naps and longer sleep during the night even though breast feeding.

6pm is fine! My baby screamed to be in bed at that time until she was about 1.
Used to wake for an 11pm feed (which we later lost with a dream feed) then 3/4am which dropped as she got older. Then woke properly at7am.

it sounds like you’re doing an amazing job coping with such a demanding schedule, you’ve totally got this! When mine were babies and the naps were a nightmare it made it feel better to have a to-do or strategy to try out that gave me something to focus on. So you could try putting them in a baby carrier tomor at morning naptime and going for a walk and keep walking past 30 mins and see if they stay asleep. Or the next day give the buggy a go instead and see if they’ll stay asleep in that then bring it home and put it in the hallway and have a break. Or try the buggy for a nap in the hallway and then when they wake keep pushing it a bit so they get back to sleep. Make it feel like you are in control of things as I know it’s just all so overwhelming when the baby controls your schedule 24/7. It really will get easier (the 4 month sleep regression is a shocker for really good nappers but as yours doesn’t sleep past 30 mins and you’re up x4 times a night you prob won’t see much difference!). Also agree with the theory that the more a baby naps, and the better quality nap, the better they sleep at night!

What is best for her is to have a parent who is not exhausted.

Also, if you can, (depending on BFing). and have a partner who can help, really try and get regular breaks from the baby at weekends or in the evenings when you can have a bath, clean pjs, cuppa, read mumsnet, call you mum, paint your nails, anything just to feel more like yourself for a bit and not serving the needs of your baby. Maybe they can take the baby for a walk so you can have some time home alone so you don’t hear them waking etc! It will really help that feeling of being overwhelmed. Sending hugs :)

I think we only had any form of sleep pattern by 5 months when DD suddenly decided to have two long naps, mornings and after lunch, and a short one at 4pm. Before that I handed DD to DH when he came home at 5-6pm and I slept for 1 hour.

I still don‘t know how I survived the first 5 months, colic, silent reflux, disturbed nights.

I think I never knew how much I enjoyed watching BBC breakfast at 6am.

We never managed to „feed to sleep“, I think she only did it once after a huge crying fit. I was envious of my friend whose DS was comatose after a feed.

Could you try to wake her up for a feed after one hour and see what happens?

DD is 16 years btw now. The day where they sleep in and complain about you waking them for breakfast is amazing.

My understanding is that overtiredness can be a major factor in early wakening so I don't think early bedtime means early wake up x it certainly doesn't with our littlies x