If people comment on how handsome your dp is...

[oaksandsycamores]

Would you assume they thought you were "punching"?

Someone met my newish boyfriend the other day for the first time and really went on about how handsome he is and I wonder now whether she was surprised that someone like me could pull him!

I feel entirely secure with him and know why he likes me. My insecure side worries people must think we are mismatched and he could do better!

OK, I'm apparently the only person who doesn't know what 'punching' means in this context? Could someone explain please, then I can give a response! 🙃

That someone punching is above their weight.

So they’ve bagged someone better looking than them.

@Echobelly it means punching above your weight which is obviously a boxing reference but means you are with someone way too good for you.

I think it would be odd if said about my husband as they’ve known him for years, but for a new boyfriend it’s quite common. It’s a polite thing to say to friends, even if they don’t think so!

My dh is better looking than me AND younger. I’m sure many people think I’m “punching” but we’ve been together almost 30 years so i must bring something to the table 🤣

This is exactly my situation 😂

My first long-term boyfriend was a bit ‘interesting’ looking. When I got together with my next boyfriend a couple of people mentioned how good looking he was when they met him. I never thought they were implying he was better looking than me, just a bit of a ‘well done, he’s much hotter than the last one’.

OK, people have said this of my husband but I've never thought it was a comment about how attractive or not I am.

@Aviee I'd have been furious about that comment! Ewww! A bit much!

ok maybe the friend did mean "compared to the ex" who increasingly looks a mess and she still sees him around.

I will try not to take it as a comment on my relative attractiveness. I do have some lingering self esteem issues over my looks but equally not about other aspects of what I have to offer. Bf (not very,very new just not happened to have met many of my friends yet mainly due to distance and time and kids) is incredibly lovely and appreciative of me so rationally I'm not worried.

I've always been a bit like this with insecurity with men and should have outgrown it by now!

I’d also assume it was in comparison to your normal taste in men, rather than a dig at you.

I would never mention to anyone that I thought their partner was good looking, you’re saying that you fancy their partner which is an uncomfortable thing to say to someone.

Surely it would just imply you had deeply peculiar friends and family?

I think it's a compliment. It is, literally.

I think it's a shame you'd take a compliment about someone else and see it as an insult towards yourself - what a shame really.

For example would you see it as an insult if someone complimented one of your bridesmaids on your wedding day?

I'd hate to live like that. Shake off that feeling, it's no way to live.

I was
Of course she didn't mean it but it's a dickish thing to say. DH avoided her like the plague after I told him, he was terrified of her

Are you me? 😁

Fucking hell. That’s rank.

It might be that they're implying you're punching, but that just shows how shallow they are. There really is more to life than looks!

Also, some women are silly around men and go on about how handsome they are when they really just look like ordinary men. She might be one of those women

I don't see it like that at all. It's odd that a lot of people these days take everything people to say to have another derogating meaning to them, it's bizarre.

They just mean he's a good looking fella. They could mean You have good taste, you picked well..... don't always think of the negatives it could mean, when in reality, it probably meant absolutely nothing to do with you either way, and it was a simple observation,

I've been out with 2 very handsome men. So handsome girls would openly flirt with them in front of me. I knew I was really punching looks wise, but it was my personality that attracted them, so I was fine with that.

I get this with my DH. I've lost track of the amount of people who have said "you've done very well for yourself" it's rude and it bothered me when I younger but I'm over it now. People can be twats. Looks aren't everything.