Does your partners depression impact you?

[bigfkuffyblanketwithhunny]

My dp has depression and it's really weighing heavy on me. There's never much happiness anymore it's all doom and gloom and it's making me feel a bit fed up. I feel awful for feeling this way but for 6 years it's been tough. He's such a hard working, kind man but unfortunately the depression is just part of him.

I feel selfish for feeling like I'm unsupportive but it's hard.

Has he changed meds?

No way I would be able to give 6 years to doom and gloom!

He won't seek help. It's a long story. He worries it would affect his job etc.

I'm fed up of pretending to be happy in front of people and then guilty that I feel
This way. It's a weird situation.

He's had a few really tough years and it's just mounting up.

So no diagnosis, how do you know it's actual depression?

Ok sorry I actually don't to be fair but if it's not depression it's him being extremely 'down' if you know what I mean.

I wouldn't stay with someone who refused to seek help. 6 years is too long to live in misery with no end in sight.

Yes. It's affected me. Massively so. I'm a shell of myself to be honest and feel my world has become so much smaller as a result.
He is on meds and has tried countless different ones. Has a huge amount of very good professional help, but there is only so much they and I can do at the end of the day. The work as it were needs to come from him and he just doesn't seem capable.
I am so so tired. I spend so much time having to be overly happy to countact his doom and gloom that I feel I am always on the verge of cracking. It's very hard work. Sometimes it can almost feel I'm living a fake life.
It's hard, I'm a natural optimist and find so much joy in the tiny things through life even now. He finds joy in nothing whatsoever and to witness that is just heartbreaking and I'll admit often infuriating. So often I can point out something wonderful only to feel my heart sink as he puts a negative spin on it. It means I often think twice before engaging with him and that's just so sad.
I worry hugely for our future. We have been together 25 years and this had been going on for the last 5. However his depression was triggered through a huge life changing accident. This really complicates matters for us.
I find it's something that is very hard to explain to people. Often only those who have lived it have a clue.

@bigfkuffyblanketwithhunny You absolutely must get him to seek help. It's a dealbreaker I think. This isn't something that is just about him. It will drag you down and consume you completely if you carry on. I know, I am living it, and due to our circumstances feel trapped in it. Don't let that be you.

I'm in a similar-but-different position to @peoplearepeople and wouldn't have married dh or had children with him if I'd understood how poor his mental health would be at times. I'm sorry for your position, op.