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Lose confidence in meetings with manager

2 replies

bluetunnel · 08/03/2024 17:21

My manager is really loud, bubbly, confident. She has no issues with saying 'no, I don't like that' to ideas that you suggest, very head strong in what she likes and can be quite blunt. This is all fine!

My issue is that I am struggling to have confidence in wider meetings that we are in together.

For example, she asked me to schedule a meeting with me, her and 3 people from another department to kick off a project that I will be overseeing. It's a new way of working for all of us and direction for it has come from her, so she led the meeting. But I felt totally awkward and she is such a big presence it turns me into a bit of a shell, and I guess I find myself feeling anxious at making the wrong suggestions or ideas. So the meeting finished - I made some suggestions and at the end said I'll be in touch - but I really didn't offer much and feel like a bit of an idiot and that my presence should be stronger.

If the meeting was just with myself and these 3 people, I would have been totally different! And obviously she doesn't see me in my other meetings, so I feel like her view of how I am and how I can manage is skewed.

Just wondering if anyone else is in the same position?

OP posts:
Sweetpea1989 · 08/03/2024 17:33

I know that feeling. Hopefully you will have project kick off meetings without her involved once it becomes a more embedded process?
If not could you ask her if you could take the lead ahead of the meeting?

bluetunnel · 08/03/2024 17:55

Thank you! It's a relief just to hear that someone else can relate. I just feel so stupid and like a child in these scenarios tbh!

Do you know, I hadn't actually thought of asking her if I could lead... it feels daunting with her being there but I actually think that would help me, and at least push me out of my comfort zone in a way where I might be able to grow? Thank you for that suggestion!

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