Is there a difference between depression and just being really sad

[Fireplace123]

My life is a bit shit and I can't remember the last time I actually felt happy or anything but really sad.

But I'm not sure if that means I'm depressed of just sad if you see what I mean.

Is there a difference? I feel because there are reasons why my life is so bad, feeling like this is an appropriate response.

Genuine question (and not intending to dilute how awful depression must be).

I get the dark cloud often and don't have clinical depression. I think maybe it starts off with something bad happening and then just not being able to shake it off for a while.

Yes I think there is a difference.

I have been to the doctor because I felt the same as you - I was always sad and couldn’t remember the last time I felt like I was happy.

But there were reasons for my sadness, so the doctor told me I wasn’t depressed. But that if things got better in my life and I still felt like this then I should come back.

They suggested therapy to help me deal with the things going on in my life instead of medicating (which was what I wanted, a magic pill to make everything better).

Yes, which is why I'd assumed I wasn't depressed. It's normal life stuff, parent and MIL in late 80s so loads of medical issues and possible dementia beginning, no money, working as much a possible to try and keep going financially whilst trying to look after elders. And there doesn't seem an end to it all (other than the obvious with parents)

on top of this DC1's mental health is unravelling which is impacting on the whole family, especially his younger sibling who is doing A'levels this year and it's hard for him to work when his brother is having meltdowns and shouting, and up pacing the house until 3am.

work is hugely stressful but also danger of redundancies atm which doesn't help.

And the stress is certainly having an effect on my health so I'm worried about that as well.

I know so many people are going through similar but it all seems so much and I'm so so tired!!

Moan over.

As someone who has struggled with depression , I can tell you that there is an ocean of difference.

but... having bad stuff going on doesn't preclude people from needing, or accessing, help with their mental health. Many people have only kept the show on the road in challenging circumstances because they have managed to get the right support in place for themselves.

OP if you look at SEN parenting threads it is very common for teens' mental health or other needs to impact on parents to such an extent that they are burned out, clinically depressed or anxious themselves. Living with chronically stressful situations can affect your brain chemistry in profound ways, especially when the whole house of cards for everyone else all relies on you holding it together. Talk to a GP if only to rule it out.

This is an appropriate response
Well, quite OP - situational depression makes perfect sense to me - many would feel the same. I had PND (traumatic birth) but was also exhausted and my MIL was dying from cancer. Anyone would feel knocked sideways.
I currently am bringing up neurodivergent children solely on my own, on a low salary with a house that needs a lot of DIY and is cold and damp. Anyone would feel low in my shoes. You'd be the exception if you didn't.
Some will say at the worst of their depression, they couldn't move or shower.
I cannot afford to lose my job or things will be even worse (I have dependants) so I get up and go to work then am in duvet mode at night and weekends when the kids are gaming, their neurodiversity means the only thing they might be prepared to do is swim. As showering and self-care often take a back seat anyway, swimming kills two birds with one stone.
I am the walking wounded. I cannot see a future right now so everything is done on a day-to-day basis. The weather and season aren't helping either. I keep going as if I don't, we'll all go under but yes, I feel sad all the time. You wouldn't necessarily know if you saw me - I mask a lot - but in the same way I cannot die early or top myself, I must try to avoid a breakdown or burn out fully as my kids would suffer. But if you are in the full throes of depression, you don't have a choice, do you? It takes you. So I guess, or at least hope, that's the difference between the two.
The GP gave me escitalopram but I couldn't get through the first few weeks. I felt worse. I've had that in the past with Seroxat. Couldn't go through that again. The only drug that's ever worked for me personally was Valium but they'll only prescribe that in the short term and I haven't asked. I have HRT in my bag but haven't started it yet.
My coping strategies are using MN, eating chocolate and trash TV.
I imagine the abyss would be Duvet Mode 24-7 as you literally cannot function at all but I'm not sure I come across as high-functioning right now or am faking it as well as I hope - the mussy hair, dark circles, weight gain, lack of pride in my appearance. I suspect I'm not fooling anyone.
I read Matt Haig but found myself resenting him, which isn't healthy, it's not a competition. I don't keep a diary or do grateful journalling or owt like that. I exist. I might not be thriving but I am surviving. I am also going to go out and forage for some and .
Good luck OP. Roll on Spring.

Woah, that's a HUGE block of chocolate! How did they know?!

Rainy days and Mondays

Talkin' to myself and feelin' old
Sometimes I'd like to quit
Nothin' ever seems to fit
Hangin' around
Nothin' to do but frown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

What I've got they used to call the blues
Nothin' is really wrong
Feelin' like I don't belong
Walkin' around
Some kind of lonely clown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

Funny, but it seems I always wind up here with you
Nice to know somebody loves me
Funny, but it seems that it's the only thing to do
Run and find the one who loves me (the one who loves me)

What I feel has come and gone before
No need to talk it out (talk it out)
We know what it's all about
Hangin' around (hangin' around)
Nothin' to do but frown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

Funny, but it seems that it's the only thing to do (only thing to do)
Run and find the one who loves me (ooh)

What I feel has come and gone before
No need to talk it out (to talk it out)
We know what it's all about
Hangin' around (hangin' around)
Nothin' to do but frown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down
Hangin' around (hangin' around)
Nothin' to do but frown
Rainy days and Mondays always get
Me down

....

I think you can be down in the dumps without being clinically depressed.

When I had clinical depression, many years ago, I had no external reasons for feeling the way I did. It was as if I was swimming through darkness, I got up, went to work, parented, carried on a relationship but it was all a performance. I just wasn't there. Medication was a life saver.
I've had episodes of sadness and mild depression since but nothing like this since.
My husband refers to it as 'the year you went missing' he says we could have perfectly normal conversations but there was nothing behind my eyes and to be fair its true. My doctor saved me.

Depression is very personal. How you feel is how you feel. Your depression does not have to present like anyone else.
Your feelings are valid whatever the cause, speak to someone if you need help.

There is a difference. Sadness is a normal emotion - it’s normal to feel sad about things. But you can go about your daily life quite normally despite feeling sad at times. Depression is a low mood that is severe enough to affect your daily life. So you don’t feel normal and can’t go about your daily life in the usual way.

I'd say sadness is one specific thing /time period, so when it goes away you no longer feel sad. So for example your cat dies, you feel sad but over the weeks your mood gets lighter and whilst you still feel sad the cat died you can also feel happy/excited about other things.

Whereas as depression is an ongoing factor . So you wake up and you feel depressed/tired before the day has started. You may have brief periods of distraction where the feeling lifts but it reverts back.

Depression can be an overall feeling of low mood or it can be due to specific things but it still impacts even if those things aren't happening.

So I became depressed while caring for my toddler with Sen. Once I realised I was depressed I knew it was due to the stress I was experiencing. It was there all of the time, I could briefly forget about it but as soon as I stopped being distracted it was back.

I had hypnotherapy, CBT and I stated exercising being healthy. Doing meditation and yoga.

Wow OP you have a lot going on. Sounds like you are overwhelmed, understandably so.

I think one's situation can make a person depressed. And to be diagnosed at the GP with depression they ask how long you have felt down.

I think someone for you to talk things through with would be helpful for you.

Big hugs it sounds tough at the moment for you