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Original poster

Would it be bad if I do not get a gift for their nan.

41 replies

Mummabear241 · 08/03/2024 10:38

Would it be bad if I did I did not get my DS a gift for their nan on mothers day. I have always done it. Even though me and their dad are not together . Because my boys feel happy and excited to give her something.

My dd is a single parent so i get her something from her little ones. Money is a little tight but not really bad. But not really bad. I just can't really afford yo get for both as it works be 40.00-50.00 between them.

I'm thinking am I taking a way from my 2 children as they like doing it ? Also feel a bit guilty about their nan not getting anything.

OP posts:
InTheShiningStars · 08/03/2024 12:09

Or tell their dad that you can’t afford it this year, but the kids want to continue so it’s on him from now on! As you don’t think she even likes you, I think that’s for the best.

Original poster
Mummabear241 · 08/03/2024 12:12

InTheShiningStars · 08/03/2024 12:09

Or tell their dad that you can’t afford it this year, but the kids want to continue so it’s on him from now on! As you don’t think she even likes you, I think that’s for the best.

Yeah I might do that actually. I won't add the she don't like me bit though.

OP posts:
AuntieJoyce · 08/03/2024 12:13

What is it you send OP? Do you send direct from Amazon?

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suburburban · 08/03/2024 12:15

Just send her a card

MamaMode · 08/03/2024 12:15

@Mummabear241 if grandma does not even like you, then why bother. If you really have to be nice, then just text ex a heads up....that moving forward your directing the kids to him regarding their grans gift, considering he will already be getting one from himself.

Calculuses · 08/03/2024 12:17

I think it's nice that you do something and if you always have it will probably hurt her a bit to stop, but neither gift needs to cost as much as that.

Original poster
Mummabear241 · 08/03/2024 12:26

AuntieJoyce · 08/03/2024 12:13

What is it you send OP? Do you send direct from Amazon?

I was going to get her this but the nan version. Does not have to be that though. Yes I send via amazon

Would it be bad if I do not get a gift for their nan.
OP posts:
lovemycbf · 08/03/2024 12:26

You can go online to thoughtful/funky pigeon and send it direct

Original poster
Mummabear241 · 08/03/2024 12:29

MamaMode · 08/03/2024 12:15

@Mummabear241 if grandma does not even like you, then why bother. If you really have to be nice, then just text ex a heads up....that moving forward your directing the kids to him regarding their grans gift, considering he will already be getting one from himself.

Edited

Yeah maybe. It's just the kids like doing it.

OP posts:
MamaMode · 08/03/2024 12:53

@Mummabear241 I can understand the initial change being a bit hard if you think you are letting your kids down. But your not letting them down are you, your just rightfully returning the responsibility of paternal grans gift to your ex. The fact that she does not like you makes it all the more appropriate not to engage yourself anymore than you have to, and she is clearly aware those gifts are funded and are from you, so has no place being upset if you don't maintain the gift giving (when she don't like you). I'm not sure of your kids ages, but I have a 7 year old and I think I'd be somewhat honest (in a child friendly way). Id say something like "From now on Daddy's going to get Grandma A's gift with you because it's his mum, and I'm gonna get Grandma B's gift with you because she's my mum, and so that it's fair and so both of us can save enough money" 🤣 My DD7 seems to understand better if I highlight the fairness of things, or demonstrate how something can be made equal.

Original poster
Mummabear241 · 08/03/2024 12:58

MamaMode · 08/03/2024 12:53

@Mummabear241 I can understand the initial change being a bit hard if you think you are letting your kids down. But your not letting them down are you, your just rightfully returning the responsibility of paternal grans gift to your ex. The fact that she does not like you makes it all the more appropriate not to engage yourself anymore than you have to, and she is clearly aware those gifts are funded and are from you, so has no place being upset if you don't maintain the gift giving (when she don't like you). I'm not sure of your kids ages, but I have a 7 year old and I think I'd be somewhat honest (in a child friendly way). Id say something like "From now on Daddy's going to get Grandma A's gift with you because it's his mum, and I'm gonna get Grandma B's gift with you because she's my mum, and so that it's fair and so both of us can save enough money" 🤣 My DD7 seems to understand better if I highlight the fairness of things, or demonstrate how something can be made equal.

Edited

There's no grandparents on my side. I could say I'm going to buy myself a gift from you 🤣.

OP posts:
MamaMode · 08/03/2024 13:05

@Mummabear241 ahhh ok. I'm sorry for your loss💞
With a bit more context, I can see why you might prioritise or maintain the responsibility for keeping the connection between your kids and their Grandma. However, if it's costly to maintain, I think you be honest with your ex (if your comfortable doing so) as it's not unreasonable for him to get his own mother a gift from his kids, and then explain something to the kids...maybe just that "it's fairer for daddy to get the gift for grandma because it's his mum and he also knows what she's already got in her house, so can make sure they buy the right thing" 🤷🏽‍♀️

Mrsjayy · 08/03/2024 13:10

Mummabear241 · 08/03/2024 10:59

Lots of people do a nan thing on mother's day . That's what I know of anyway. Even if its not that's what we gave done for several years .

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I would get her flowers I know bouquets will be pricey this weekend but supermarket s won't be so bad I don't think you need to go overboard, but if you have always done it then it would be a shame to stop.

Original poster
Mummabear241 · 08/03/2024 13:16

MamaMode · 08/03/2024 13:05

@Mummabear241 ahhh ok. I'm sorry for your loss💞
With a bit more context, I can see why you might prioritise or maintain the responsibility for keeping the connection between your kids and their Grandma. However, if it's costly to maintain, I think you be honest with your ex (if your comfortable doing so) as it's not unreasonable for him to get his own mother a gift from his kids, and then explain something to the kids...maybe just that "it's fairer for daddy to get the gift for grandma because it's his mum and he also knows what she's already got in her house, so can make sure they buy the right thing" 🤷🏽‍♀️

Edited

My father died 2005 . So they never knew him and was a while ago. My mother is alive . But no contact for many years . My children don't know she exists.

I think I might do as you suggested though. I already buy for DD. The kids nan has several people to buy for her.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mummabear241 · 08/03/2024 13:19

Mrsjayy · 08/03/2024 13:10

I would get her flowers I know bouquets will be pricey this weekend but supermarket s won't be so bad I don't think you need to go overboard, but if you have always done it then it would be a shame to stop.

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The kids will not see her this weekend as they are with me. Maybe they could take flowers for her the following weekend. It won't be mother's day but at least she will still have something from them.

OP posts:
Mrsjayy · 08/03/2024 13:29

Mummabear241 · 08/03/2024 13:19

The kids will not see her this weekend as they are with me. Maybe they could take flowers for her the following weekend. It won't be mother's day but at least she will still have something from them.

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yeah do that then they have something to give her.

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