Why is this so hard?!

[summerbreeze2000]

Be kind. First time mum with another on the way. Hormones crazy at the moment.🤦🏻‍♀️

Collecting my DD who is 5 from Reception yesterday and they were taking ages to come out. I went into the classroom and they were lined up walking out. One of the other parents were coming out with their son and passed us and said to my DD " you're a good person" . I was like "what happened ? Was there an incident? They didn't say anything ...muttered something about they all wanted to be first in the line up, my DD held her own"..

Then we got seperate in the rush. So I asked my DD what happened and she said that another girl said she couldn't be first in the line and there was some pushing,

I was so mad with myself for not just going into the classroom like the other parent and I could have seen what actually happened.

My DD didn't seem that upset.

I'm just feeling really upset about it and why would that parent say that if it wasn't a big deal? What actually did happen was worse.

I don't want to keep asking my DD as I think it might make it worse.

I feel so bad at parenting at the moment
Also 20 weeks pregnant 😓

The teacher will tell you if it was a big incident

I dont think its a good idea to have parents going inside a classroom at home time. Sounds like there was the age old ‘i want to be first’ bit of pushing as is always the case at school. Nothing to think about or fond hard really. I would forget about it.

Unfortunately the teacher was called to a meeting so the teacher from another class helped do the line up....so her actual teacher didn't witness.

Just wondering why on earth this other parent would stop and say you're a good person.

Like it's just replaying on my mind.
I know I should unclench !!!

wow! Kindly, yes, please unclench as this is absolutely nothing to stew about. At least she said your dd was a good person and not a terrible one! 😜

also- parents in the classroom at pick up? Nope.

What does it mean though that phrase - you're a good person.
Like she could t stand up for herself ?? But you are a good person.

Parents aren't in the classroom for pick up, this parent helps with classroom activities.

I should have just gone in!!!!
I'm so worried DD is getting pushed about and this parent is like "oh dear poor you"

You should have spoken the teacher who was looking after the class.

Of course you shouldn’t just walk into someone’s class room uninvited!

Maybe the other child was pushing and being a bit rowdy and your DD was like "oh for God's sake, just go first" and let the other kid in front.

Then the other child's mum was embarrassed about her child's behaviour and thought your DD handled it well.

It sounds like your DD allowed the other child to go ahead and the parent was giving her praise for being amicable.

But honestly, if you watch kids that age play, they squabble all the time. To them it’s just normal communication, they haven’t learnt tact properly by that age and are just more expressive. Try not to apply adult boundaries and expectations on children’s communication.

(I’m not a parent who lets kids get away with anything btw. In fact I’m quite strict. I’ve just observed enough to know that children interact with each other far more ‘honestly’ than adults and to them it’s just normal.)

This sounds like something that wouldn't get a mention at our primary.

Mountain out of a molehill.

If you D is fine then I would forget about it.

@frozendaisy it's not so easy to forget when another parent is making a comment like that...

I also feel really guilty for not going in and seeing what was taking so long

@summerbreeze2000 Really, this is an absolute nothingburger.
The other parent complimented her. There’s nothing whatsoever to suggest she meant “oh dear poor you”.
DD is fine and not upset.
DD held her own, which is good.
Nothing serious happened. If it had, the teacher would have told you.
Pushing and jostling in queues in schools happens all the time.

No you shouldn’t have gone in. It’s way better to stay out of the classroom and just wait outside. Nothing bad will happen to your child just because you’re not there helicoptering.

You’re pregnant- this is not a time to encourage yourself to be more anxious. Instead you should be staying as calm as possible. This is a good time to stop hovering over your daughter and worrying about non-existent problems. When the baby arrives you would drive yourself insane caring for a newborn and hovering unnecessarily over your daughter at the same time.

Isn't it a compliment?

I'm not sure what you are upset about. Is it because a parent called your dd a good person? Why is that worrying you? If the parent had called your child a bad person, I'd understand. Maybe they were glad that somebody had stood up to their child? It's something and nothing. Please relax, Op. Your dd id only five. There will be many incidents, dramas and events over the ensuing Primary years so chill or you'll never get through it.

Stop berating yourself for not going in! And please, get over it!

I'm thinking I should say something to the teacher on Monday.
She had stepped away briefly when this happened and another teacher took over.
Or not?

I

I think you should speak to the other parent if she actually saw it and it was worth commenting on. But only if it will make you feel better. Because it will make you come across a little crazy.

But it's genuinely nothing to worry about. Your DD was not upset immediately afterwards. If she was crying or angry then it might be worth speaking to someone.

I think you need to let go a bit. Another child will be the best thing for your DD because that level of over involvement must be a bit suffocating for her.

Honestly OP you are overthinking this. It sounds like a small incident and nothing to worry about. The comment wasn't a bad thing about your DD. Just forget it and move on!

No don't say anything to the teacher. They weren't even there to witness anything. This really isn't anything to even think about more, it was just a passing compliment to your dd. Kids that age jostle around in queues. Your dd either let someone go in front of them (I think it was this one), or said no, I was here first. You definitely shouldn't have gone into the classroom uninvited - that would be against policy. The other parent was only in there as she volunteers to help.

Is your dd upset by any of this or did she just shrug it off? I don't think you need to speak to the teacher or pursue the other parent. It doesn't sound like a critical comment, more that your dd kept out of the way or let someone else go first or something. You are really overthinking it all, there will be multiple jostles for first place in the line every day in a primary school....they line up for everything. I am sure the class teacher will be aware if there is a particularly pushy child and will deal with it.

Every response is that it’s something of nothing and a very standard primary school incident, but you’re still fretting.

For context my DD said she was the first to line up and was at the front of the queue.

Bless you OP, I have literally no idea what your post is talking about. Why you have any interest in 5 year olds mucking about in the line, I've no idea. Not everything between kids needs to be referred and fixed by adults. This wouldn't have even registered with me.

You need to forget about it.

What do you mean you should have gone in? If parents don't usually go in the classroom then of course you shouldn't have gone in.

Sounds like the other mum was giving your DD a compliment. You're really overthinking some squabbling about being first in line.

Jesus Christ, are you even reading any of the replies?

GET OVER IT.

I bet your daughter didn’t even give it a second thought, and the teacher and mum in question will probably have no idea what you’re talking about if you mention it on Monday!