Page 16 | Can't afford minimum payment -advice please?

daysmustgetbetter · 2024-03-06T11:40:23+00:00

I know I'm a idiot When I moved into my house I had nothing I got my appliances /sofa from littlewoods I put them on buy now pay later but now I'm struggling. I get £1,000 a month £460 is rent £100 is gas /electric £90 council tax and I pay them £240 I'm left with £110 for food It's killing me I've asked if I can set up a payment plan they said no I honestly don't know what to do If I don't pay the full amount will they pass me to a debt collection agency ?

CockSpadget · 07/03/2024 12:18

WhatWhatPip · 07/03/2024 12:08

Ignore the judgemental arseholes OP - I've read all your posts. Also can't believe some posters are whinging that you bought appliances and a sofa on credit when you had nothing. Because people should live without washing their clothes and cooking shouldn't they! How dare you sit on a sofa and not on the floor! People need to go back to reading their Daily Mail.

Honestly - citizens advice will help. Littlewoods will probably arrange a plan with you with pressure. They would rather have the money back than go through the courts.

The overwhelming majority aren’t being “judgemental arseholes” because OP bought household items on credit at all. The majority have recommended contacting a debt advice company, recontacting littlewoods etc, switching to a cheaper form of debt etc.
OP even got offended when someone suggested working at McDonalds, which is a massive insult to people who work in fast food restaurants. If you want brand new sofas and household appliances, they need to be paid for. If you work PT, and can’t afford new, then you either buy used or increase your hours and income.
No one has suggested not washing clothes, or having a sofa to sit on.

DSD9472 · 07/03/2024 12:26

Are you expecting any inheritance from your late mother OP? House, money, furniture/items you could sell etc? Could you pay your debts with that?

HutontheBeach · 07/03/2024 12:28

Your children need to set their sights a bit higher!

No one is being a judgemental arse - but if we are, it's deserved.

How on earth are they going to be able to move out and even (sometime) buy their own homes if all they do is work in a shop and even then part time?

You are infantilising them.
They are barely doing anything more hours than Saturday /weekend jobs which loads of young people do when they are studying for 4 A levels or even a degree!

If they were mine, I'd be putting a rocket up them but also pointing them in the direction of career advice and getting qualifications (if they don't have any already.)

What are their long term plans re. a career?

HutontheBeach · 07/03/2024 12:32

You are making excuses for your children.

12 and 20 hours a week of shop work is hardly a career.

Why aren't they in proper jobs with some prospects?

I could understand you cutting them some slack if they were having a gap year before uni, and saving, but it doesn't come over like that.

Beezknees · 07/03/2024 12:33

Why aren't your adult kids working full time? If they aren't studying, they need to get full time jobs.

Olliequick · 07/03/2024 12:35

So as soon as kids turn 18 you all expect them to be contributing to the bills? I find that absolutely bizarre. They are still your children and just because they are earning their own money doesn’t mean the owe it to you to have the luxury of living in their house ffs.

OP - I think people are being heartless about the loss of your mum. It was very recent and you took a drop in earnings to look after her. The only thing you can do is try and negotiate a lower payment with them directly or via Citizens advice or other company while you look for more hours.

Itsallok · 07/03/2024 12:36

CockSpadget · 07/03/2024 12:18

The overwhelming majority aren’t being “judgemental arseholes” because OP bought household items on credit at all. The majority have recommended contacting a debt advice company, recontacting littlewoods etc, switching to a cheaper form of debt etc.
OP even got offended when someone suggested working at McDonalds, which is a massive insult to people who work in fast food restaurants. If you want brand new sofas and household appliances, they need to be paid for. If you work PT, and can’t afford new, then you either buy used or increase your hours and income.
No one has suggested not washing clothes, or having a sofa to sit on.

Show quote history

Exactly. And yep, I'll be as judgemental as I wish about two adults who are so lazy. And given the Op has their mother didn't seem to think there was anything unusual about that - I'll judge her as well.

No doubt, we will get some backstory about MH issues or some other self-pitying bollocks about the kids. You created your own mess OP - own it.

And if your kids end up in the same situation as you - you have only yourself to blame.

twistyizzy · 07/03/2024 12:39

Olliequick · 07/03/2024 12:35

So as soon as kids turn 18 you all expect them to be contributing to the bills? I find that absolutely bizarre. They are still your children and just because they are earning their own money doesn’t mean the owe it to you to have the luxury of living in their house ffs.

OP - I think people are being heartless about the loss of your mum. It was very recent and you took a drop in earnings to look after her. The only thing you can do is try and negotiate a lower payment with them directly or via Citizens advice or other company while you look for more hours.

Yes because they are adults. No-one is saying kids should fund a life of luxury for their parents but at 18 they either need to be in full time education or full time work. If in FT work then they should contribute to their share of the bills. Not doing so isn't doing them any favours in teaching them about what life as an adult means.

Undisclosedlocation · 07/03/2024 12:46

Olliequick · 07/03/2024 12:35

So as soon as kids turn 18 you all expect them to be contributing to the bills? I find that absolutely bizarre. They are still your children and just because they are earning their own money doesn’t mean the owe it to you to have the luxury of living in their house ffs.

OP - I think people are being heartless about the loss of your mum. It was very recent and you took a drop in earnings to look after her. The only thing you can do is try and negotiate a lower payment with them directly or via Citizens advice or other company while you look for more hours.

When the children were under 18, the OP would have been eligible for benefits to help with their costs.
Now they are officially classed as adults, they need to cover that shortfall at the very least, given that the family income does not allow for any other option. Giving your kids financial leniency as wage earning adults is a luxury that can only be achieved in a household with enough cash coming through the door.

Expecting the obvious maths not to apply is what is bizarre here, not the concept of rent for adults!

Livinghappy · 07/03/2024 12:46

@Olliequick I don't expect my children to contribute once 18 but the Op is in a challenging situation so I think family need to help..this is to avoid ccj, court, additional finance charges etc.

The op has most of her (relatively low income) accounted for. There are 2 other adults in the house who could help by contributing more. Many students at Uni are self supporting. I think it's a case of pulling together to get the family on a more stable financial footing.

Kalevala · 07/03/2024 12:54

Also can't believe some posters are whinging that you bought appliances and a sofa on credit when you had nothing. Because people should live without washing their clothes and cooking shouldn't they! How dare you sit on a sofa and not on the floor!

What's done is done but there are better options than credit. Many of us have started with nothing, some more than once. There is second hand, through charities is one option. The furniture bank near us keeps basic essential items for those who need them at an affordable price. New sofas are a luxury.

Greenkindness · 07/03/2024 12:58

Olliequick · 07/03/2024 12:35

So as soon as kids turn 18 you all expect them to be contributing to the bills? I find that absolutely bizarre. They are still your children and just because they are earning their own money doesn’t mean the owe it to you to have the luxury of living in their house ffs.

OP - I think people are being heartless about the loss of your mum. It was very recent and you took a drop in earnings to look after her. The only thing you can do is try and negotiate a lower payment with them directly or via Citizens advice or other company while you look for more hours.

Um honestly yes!

My husband left school at 16 and did an apprenticeship, and he gave his mum an amount each week. I think that’s pretty appropriate and I would ask the same of my kids if they were not in education but earning. They might be ‘kids’ but they’re not babies. This is real life. If they use the utilities and live in the house they can make a contribution.

sassy05 · 07/03/2024 13:00

Olliequick · 07/03/2024 12:35

So as soon as kids turn 18 you all expect them to be contributing to the bills? I find that absolutely bizarre. They are still your children and just because they are earning their own money doesn’t mean the owe it to you to have the luxury of living in their house ffs.

OP - I think people are being heartless about the loss of your mum. It was very recent and you took a drop in earnings to look after her. The only thing you can do is try and negotiate a lower payment with them directly or via Citizens advice or other company while you look for more hours.

I think it's more when they are able to work full time and out of education. If still at home and in full time education it's very different than working full time.

I was lucky that I didn't have to pay anything while I was still in full time education even thought I did work part time. If my parents needed me to help out though I would have and wouldn't have wanted them to be struggling. I also done the shopping at least 1-2 times monthly.

When I started working full time my parents only took a token amount from me (sure it was 100 per month). I always had so much spending money. But It was one of the worst things they done as I had no real idea about budgeting etc. I did have savings and paid for my car. When I moved out I got a huge shock about COL and that was 20+ years ago so nowhere near as bad as it is now. My parents also gave me back all the money I had paid them to help me out. Taking a rent from kids not only helps the household out but also opens the conversation about budgeting. Being open about the bills (utility/internet/tv subscriptions/rent/mortgage/etc) with older teens and young adults allows them to see the bigger picture and help plan for the future. My kids will definitely be paying a decent amount and if I can will save it for them but if not then I will be using it to keep the household going.

shepherdsangeldelight · 07/03/2024 13:02

WhatWhatPip · 07/03/2024 12:08

Ignore the judgemental arseholes OP - I've read all your posts. Also can't believe some posters are whinging that you bought appliances and a sofa on credit when you had nothing. Because people should live without washing their clothes and cooking shouldn't they! How dare you sit on a sofa and not on the floor! People need to go back to reading their Daily Mail.

Honestly - citizens advice will help. Littlewoods will probably arrange a plan with you with pressure. They would rather have the money back than go through the courts.

There are many options between "buying new stuff on credit" and "not washing your clothes and sitting on the floor".

Like, I suspect many people, I spent years going to the laundrette before buying a second hand washing machine. I also bought second hand furniture, or used stuff off Freecycle or took things that family and friends were throwing out and gradually replaced it as I could afford to.

Crikeyalmighty · 07/03/2024 13:05

You don't have the money to subsidise adult children because they fancy going travelling- don't we all!!

Far too many woman who are skint pandering to over 18s who either need to shape up or ship out and are thoroughly selfish seeing you struggle.

Crikeyalmighty · 07/03/2024 13:07

I don't know how much they work but if it's full time and even minimum wage I would want at least £350 a month off each of them- (given they would be bringing home about £1350) you are allowing them to take the piss OP and doing them no favours to the reality of life

CockSpadget · 07/03/2024 13:08

Olliequick · 07/03/2024 12:35

So as soon as kids turn 18 you all expect them to be contributing to the bills? I find that absolutely bizarre. They are still your children and just because they are earning their own money doesn’t mean the owe it to you to have the luxury of living in their house ffs.

OP - I think people are being heartless about the loss of your mum. It was very recent and you took a drop in earnings to look after her. The only thing you can do is try and negotiate a lower payment with them directly or via Citizens advice or other company while you look for more hours.

If an 18 year old isn’t in FT education, then why shouldn’t they work FT and contribute? To be honest, they should WANT to! The real world costs money, and at 18 they should be well aware that it’s not a free ride.

Smartiepants79 · 07/03/2024 13:12

Your children are adults. Living with you for free. That would be lovely if you could afford that.
You can’t afford that.
They need to contribute to the household if they are earning and living there.

Tiddlywinks63 · 07/03/2024 13:14

WhatWhatPip · 07/03/2024 12:08

Ignore the judgemental arseholes OP - I've read all your posts. Also can't believe some posters are whinging that you bought appliances and a sofa on credit when you had nothing. Because people should live without washing their clothes and cooking shouldn't they! How dare you sit on a sofa and not on the floor! People need to go back to reading their Daily Mail.

Honestly - citizens advice will help. Littlewoods will probably arrange a plan with you with pressure. They would rather have the money back than go through the courts.

Don’t be so ridiculous @WhatWhatPip , thousands of us have managed perfectly well with secondhand furniture, white apple etc. I bought my first new sofa at the age of 60, it never bothered me I couldn’t afford new because quite simply that wasn’t an option. Not for one minute was anyone but you suggesting that she should sit on the floor and not wash her clothes ffs! 🙄
OP appears to be very reluctant to get her DCs to contribute a meaningful amount or to get a second job so 🤷🏼‍♀️

Beezknees · 07/03/2024 13:26

Olliequick · 07/03/2024 12:35

So as soon as kids turn 18 you all expect them to be contributing to the bills? I find that absolutely bizarre. They are still your children and just because they are earning their own money doesn’t mean the owe it to you to have the luxury of living in their house ffs.

OP - I think people are being heartless about the loss of your mum. It was very recent and you took a drop in earnings to look after her. The only thing you can do is try and negotiate a lower payment with them directly or via Citizens advice or other company while you look for more hours.

Not necessarily when they turn 18, but when they start working. Not all of us have the luxury of being able to financially support other adults. I'm single, I cannot financially support a grown working man as well as myself. I get Universal Credit to help me and council tax discount which I will lose when DS is an adult, so yes he will have to contribute to make up that shortfall.

And why shouldn't they pay? I have to pay rent and bills for the "luxury" of living in my own house.

itsabitgrey · 07/03/2024 13:30

There are some truly atrocious responses on this thread. A stranger on the Internet who is grieving and struggling has asked for help and then there's a pile-on by some people who don't know her and have no idea about the details of her personal circumstances. There might be very valid reasons why her kids can't work full time. No one knows so calling them lazy and entitled is cruel. No one would ever say that to OP's face. Easy to do when you're behind a screen though.

I hope this hasn't upset you too much OP. From the bits of information you have given, I'd say your quickest option now is to ring them and ask for a payment plan, otherwise the interest could make the problem even worse. And then definitely chat to one of the debt charities. With any kind of debt, the worst thing you can do is stick your head in the sand. You're not doing that so you're already walking in the right direction. Good luck!

outdooryone · 07/03/2024 13:39

I would seek advice from Citizens Advice asap.
And I would have a grown up discussion with my grown up children about the situation.

GinandGingerBeer · 07/03/2024 13:43

On an income of 1k a month and £760 rented accom- what makes you say you're not entitled to UC?
If your kids income means you're not getting UC then it's time for them to add to the pot!

SheepAndSword · 07/03/2024 13:48

@daysmustgetbetter I googled Littlewoods persistent debt and they say they contact the customer to go through options and offer support, did they do that?

Choupet · 07/03/2024 14:06

GinandGingerBeer · 07/03/2024 13:43

On an income of 1k a month and £760 rented accom- what makes you say you're not entitled to UC?
If your kids income means you're not getting UC then it's time for them to add to the pot!

I get £1,000 a month
£460 is rent £100 is gas /electric £90 council tax and I pay them £240