The straw that broke the camels back….

[AlltheFs]

I am venting. I need to vent because I can’t sleep for the rage. We have had a hard 12 months with multiple family bereavements and illness. Struggling financially thanks to COL and in a house renovation. It’s all been a bit much as it is.

DD is at nursery, starts school in Sept. we have zero family help and live rurally with very limited childcare options. I work 4 days in a demanding role, DH full time.

Today, 3 weeks before Easter, nursery announced they aren’t opening in the school hols any more leaving us with no childcare this Easter or May half term and not the 6 fucking weeks of the summer hols. It’s broken me. We don’t have the AL to cover it, can’t afford unpaid leave (living in overdraft) and have no chance of securing another setting in time.

I haven’t had a proper panic attack for years but have had a massive one tonight.

Fuck my life

What was the straw that broke you today? I need to hear that I am not the only one living a nightmare.

(For the smug bastards that will ask what we will do to cover school hols from September- the answer is we will use school holiday club, but there isn’t an equivalent for preschool age and no we can’t afford a nanny).

Oh heck that's tough. Do you know any of the other families who've used the nursery in the hols before? If they've also been left in the lurch maybe you could work out some way to have each other's kids?

No advice OP. That’s really shit. So sorry

This is a good idea. I hope you can find a solution. It sounds really awful for you. X

Local responsible teenager to act as am au pair?

Find the council list of childminders. Start at the top and work down. You may find one like my old one who specifically minded teachers kids and then different ones in the holidays. It was a great set up as it meant teachers didn't pay over the hols when they didn't need it but she didn't lose income. Failing that, you may just find one with spaces. Pro-activity is the only way through this sort of thing..but get your husband on board too. This is not just your problem to solve.

What a nightmare OP! I’d look - now - for a childminder, I’ve managed to find one who has a term time only child so is willing to have my preschooler in the holidays.

My straw was when some genius at work changed a policy which has a big impact on me, didn’t communicate it to me (or any of my team who would have told me), then had a go at me for doing the process “wrong”. Wonderful, that’s why they’re paid the big bucks apparently.

Vent away. That's shit. But don't despair. For holidays only with a pre-school child you'll find something.

• round our way, at least two some holiday camps take pre-school year children. The kids love it and it's cheaper than nursery
• ask on local Facebook/whatsapp groups. Some childminders might be term time only and happy to take on ad-hoc holiday work
• if you're happy to quit nursery completely, you might find a nanny on a break happy to take on a six month placement

My immediate thought is that, as will as children being without places, there may well be staff who are in a panic about the fact that they will be taking a pay cut. These staff know your DC - and other affected DC too. I wonder if you could club together with some other families, ask one of the staff to babysit three or four of the children and take it in turns to host in each of your houses. It could be quite fun for the children as the person looking after them might be able to take them out or about more than if they were in nursery

This is an excellent idea, you cannot be the only one feeling this way. This was the only way I got through all school holidays when mine were children. Shared with good friends, we sat together before every holiday and worked out who could do what days, so A/L was used between us fairly. It also meant they had company during the endless summer holidays which made life a little bit easier for whoever was “on shift”.

Call other nurseries to see if they have any spots coming up in the holidays. They might have children there on term time contracts.

That is shit but the answer is to find another nursery, because yours is no longer fit for purpose. They won't survive long anyway, unless you live in an area with loads of non-working families who don't need childcare and can just take whatever funded hours it suits the nursery to offer.

DD only has 5 and a bit months left of nursery. Nowhere has spaces this academic year, the earliest is September when she will already be at school.
We are rural, there’s a few school preschools which are term time only and a few private nurseries. The wait list for places at the private nurseries is 6-18 months. Same
for childminders.

I wouldn’t feel so sick with worry if moving was an option!

Or maybe a student - they often want some work in vacations but it can be hard to find rurally.

The nursery workers won't be working in the hols then - ask if they'd do some childcare informally over the hols. They often do babysitting if you ask nicely, having one kid rather than 30 might appeal! And your child will know them.

I do appreciate the suggestions from everyone, we are looking at them all but it is very difficult here. It’s not like living somewhere densely populated - there’s not many options to check! To give an idea of scale- the school is age 5-11 and has 68 children total. A busy day at the nursery has 11 children in.
This isn’t somewhere with rafts of childcare available as there’s just not many people full stop. Our previous nursery is an hours round trip away, we already tried there last night but no space until Sept.

It’s a wealthy area so some will throw money at it I’m sure with nannies, and the farming and army families (majority) will just be able to absorb it. There’s probably only a few of us that will find it awful.

When we took the place up 6 months ago I checked and triple checked with them that they would definitely offer all year round care, which is why I am so stunned to get so little notice.

You could see if any of the nursery staff want to work child minding over the breaks then look to hire them with another family or two so you can split costs. Nursery might be willing to give your number to others similarly effected to see if they'd like to share child care in some way.

Is taking annual leave at half pay an option with either/both of your employers? Could you scrape through financially and would you have enough leave if you did this to cover the breaks?

Look for holiday clubs. You don't need to change nurseries. But many will take them from 4 as they could be school age. We live very rurally as well (school the same size as yours) and we used a holiday club for out of term time at preschool age. It's £20 a day 8:30-430. It's very close to us, but some people do travel up to 50 minutes for it. There may not be spaces for Easter, but half term/summer bookings won't have even opened yet.

Alternatively, childminders often lose their children during school holidays as parents take off with older ones, so there will very likely be some places at a CM for those weeks. Even though they won't be able to take you on during the term.

If no options near you, then band together with other parents and you each rotate through doing days. If there is someone who doesn't work during school holidays anyway, they may actually be grateful for your dd so theirs have a friend to keep them occupied and they can sit down and relax a bit.

Are you completely sure your school.holiday club won't take your kid for the summer? Some do offer places to kids the summer before they start at that school.

I'm sorry, I have no advice but I want to sympathise and I hope you get something sorted out,brilliant ideas on here.

The nursery staff who now won't be working (or paid for) holidays will probably want some work.

Does anyone happen to know what happens with the 30 funded hours in this scenario? This was stretched to 22hrs a week as it was an all year setting but we are now going to lose 9ish weeks of the school hols so really we should be getting more funded hours in term time surely?

If I have to pay full whack for holiday weeks somewhere else (eg paying a non registered person) I’m losing out twice as won’t have the 22 hours funded to use with them
either. I actually don’t think there’s any way we can afford that.