Is this grief, or menopause, or lack of inclination/motivation?

[Calculuses]

DH died nearly 3 years ago. I think I've done pretty well, actually. It's been hard but I've built a new single life for myself, some new interests, new friends, busy social life, but alps learned to enjoy adventures on my own. I feel that I'm enjoying life. Whilst I obviouslyhave days when I miss DH very much, I don't feel that my life is consumed by grief iyswim. I have managed to motivate myself in this area

I'm 54, no real menopause symptoms until very recently, but last cycle was 75 days between periods and I've been getting some hot flushes in the last few weeks.

I have an executive level job, which I have always loved. I love the work, the act of working, the responsibility, the status etc etc. The last couple of years though I just can't apply myself. I'm doing less and less in a working day. No one seems to have noticed up to now, I get what's really important done, but I can't motivate myself to do anything extra.

I get by on the absolute bare minimum. I've worked from home today and have done one task that took about 20 mins that would have really mattered if it wasn't done, pretty much nothing else useful. I'm just as bad in the office, spend whole days bored and doing nothing, despite plenty I could be doing.

Maybe it's that I'm coming to the end of my career and I don't care anymore, but I've always been so motivated by professional pride as much as anything else.

Im just as bad with the house, that I used to take a lot of pride in, it's going to ruin.

What's going on and what do I do about it?

Get a full blood panel, maybe through a private provider so you don't have to have any conversations about whether you need it or not.
Are you taking any medication? Private type drugs?

No, I take B12 and Vit D in the hope that it would help but nothing else.

What would the bloods be looking for?

I think you are just winding down a bit after the turmoil of the last few years. Maybe its time to cut your hours and responsibilities a bit and do more of the stuff you enjoy. And get a cleaner.

I think its just life.

I only do 3 days (should have mentioned that, sorry). I think if the job had less responsibility, I'd be even worse.

Would some counselling be more beneficial than medicine? Maybe you haven't gotten over losing your dh as much as you thought and there's no shame in that.
And I'm sorry for your loss.

I haven't asked for medicine?

I had some counselling. The counsellor agreed that I didn't need it.

This us exactly how I felt when I hit peri menopause. I'm now full menopause and am slightly more energetic but absolutely nowhere near how energetic, motivated and driven I was pre peri. I miss being so speedy!

I'm inclined to agree that it's menopause related, but I'm not unmotivated and lacking energy in everything. I'm currently marathon training and throw myself into that. I take the lead in organising social things. I don't feel particularly tired, I just CBA.

Sorry for the loss of your DH. 💐

Even subliminally, it must be having an effect, even if you are coping with the grief as such. You were very young to become a widow.

Even the reference to 'coming to the end of your career'. You're 54! Way off that.

It just sounds as if you're ready for a new role, challenge or way of working. Your current role isn't interesting you any more.

I was widowed ten years ago and I'm now in peri. A lot of what you say resonates with me. But I'm not sure how helpful it is to try to separate grief from hormones. If you get your health checked and that's all fine, I'd just see it as a signal that you need to change things to fit the life you have now and the person you are now. Maybe your values have changed, or maybe you want life to be easier? Or maybe the point of it is no longer clear?

I CBA purely because I choose not to be! Kids flown nest, am single and no intention of sharing my home ever again, so I can do what I please.
If something needs doing and it's 'important', I'll get it done but everything is last minute. I have my own business but have never been ambitious. I've always chosen a life/work balance that allows me to work part time, walk my dogs and have downtime, over having money. Some months I can just about pay the bills, and just that makes me truly happy in life.