Detentions

[idontlikealdi]

Do you have sanctions for detentions at home or is the detention the sanction?

Dd1, y8, 12 has had three in the last three weeks, none previously. Two for chewing gum and one for jewellery (I don't know the detail in this one yet!).

Don't know whether to take her phone away for the evening or just to leave it as the detention. It's not a pattern o want to continue!

Personally can't get worked up over either 'offence' but rules are rules...

I wouldn't for a first detention. I'd assume that the punishment from the school would work.

Any subsequent ones, yes, I would.

My kids are younger but I’m an ex secondary teacher. I would go with a “I’m very disappointed…” conversation and tell them you don’t want to be hearing anything negative from school. It might be worth asking their form tutor to do a round robin asking about their attitude and attainment in lessons.

No.

When I do something wrong at work I don’t get it from all angles and I wouldn’t do that to my children either.

No, because with my stubborn 16yr old it makes no difference.
I could smash his phone up and he would still argue with a teacher and get a detention.
16 yrs of trying to find his weak spot and I've failed, thank god he leaves in a few months 🤣

No. The detention is punishment enough Especially when it's for something as minor as gum chewing.

I needed to read this. My 12 year old has had two detention for avoidable things like being late for class after lunch or getting her phone out before she’s left the school site at the end of the day. I’m really frustrated with her but I’ve chose to leave it at school.

Things like chewing gum and jewellery are pretty minor and arbitrary. I'd leave it between her and the school.

Thanks everyone. I get it, I chewed gum in school, was clever enough to not get caught though! the first time she got a detention she got caught throwing it in the bin...

The jewellery she had PE today and I think she has probably forgotten to take out her second lobe piercings.

@Nohousemove just had parents evening and attainment and attitude all good.

They did have OFSTED in last week so wonder if they might be ramping up the discipline. DD2 also had a detention for the first time last week for not having her blazer. She did have her blazer but had left it in the food tech classroom and wasn't allowed to go back to get it.

I would punish at home (I haven't had to yet). Probably removal of tech and a stern talking to. I'd punish for behaviour points too. So far so good, because he knows he'd get in trouble at home too. He said his friends don't care about getting detention because their parents don't care so they misbehave a lot.

Which lesson was she chewing gum? If in a science lesson I'd crack down particularly if in chemistry, it's a well know lab rule not to chew gum (or anything) it'll be in the risk assessments for practicals too.

Generally chewing gum is a nuisance it's stuck under the table or dropped down the stairs landing on people's clothes or in their hair, dropped on the carpet and trodden in, put on the chair as they leave the room so the next person sits in it even if your DD didn't do those things others do and it's easier to have a blanket ban.

Wearing jewellery again the rule is clear, you don't. It takes time and effort to look for it when lost or stolen, child gets upset and doesn't want to go to class. Potential hazard in various practical subjects.

Several detentions for minor things is either a school crack down or getting involved with other rule breakers especially if paired with a change in friendship group and it's easy to escalate from these minor things to other things the see as minor like vaping or meeting in the toilets to bunk. I'd be reviewing her general attitude and behaviour as yo whether I continued the sanction at home but I would go through why this minor rules exist and the knock on effects they can have when abused.

DD2 also had a detention for the first time last week for not having her blazer. She did have her blazer but had left it in the food tech classroom and wasn't allowed to go back to get it.

Thats absurd.

Why do you consider gum chewing minor?

Because literally just chewing gum hurts no one. We had it at school. I have it while I'm working. And my DC at 12 years old wouldn't have put gum anywhere except their mouth or the bin.

chewing gum causes constant issues and disruptions. It hurts everyone's education.

I disagree. I can think of a million things that hindered mine or DC education more than a bit of juicyfruit

well, maybe you can realise that actually, you just don't have the experience and understanding to make a judgement on this issue then, unless you think that every single school or prison manager in the country and beyond is wrong. Chewing gum causes all sorts of issues, expenses, dangers and disruptions.

Go ahead, enlighten me. How does chewing gum and putting it only in mouths or bins cause all those things

I don't need to "enlighten" you. You are presumably a competent adult and are presumably capable of working out something so fundamentally straightforward and simple for yourself

@SirenSays it's not true, I had many lessons disrupted because students wouldn't spit out their gum when we were doing chemistry practicals and I couldn't continue unless they had, escalating into an event which never had to happen. Then having to spend my marking time going to their detention and having restorative conversations when all they had to do was not chew gum. I've helped several students who were very upset (as you would be) that they had gum in their hair or sat in it or wanted to go and wash their hands because they had touched it under the table etc. if this happened to be a student with additional needs then you can assume that most of the rest of their day was ruined as they were disregulated.

Just because you and your children are sensible doesn't mean that everyone is and banning it outright via sanctions is the easiest route.

If you can't, just say so.
I think you are very confused by which question I'm answering. Go and read the OP again.

Would I as a parent, give an extra punishment for something my DC are doing sensibly and safely, which I myself do. No I wouldn't.

Did you think the post was about banning gum in prisons or something?