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Original poster

If you take your DC to a busy event do you expect people to let them go to the front?

33 replies

Calculuses · 05/03/2024 14:19

If you're part of the crowd, would you let them through? I go to watch the London Marathon every year with friends. We usually have a number of people we know running.

The day is planned so we have a spot where public transport works quite well for us and loos are nearby. It's a spot that doesn't get as busy as some of the more popular spectator places, but it can be 3 for 4 deep at peak times.

We get there early and stay all day to secure our spot on the barrier. It's a long tiring day, which might sound ridiculous if you've never done it, but it is and you have to concentrate hard to spot your friends amongst the runners.

Having secured the spot no one is keen to give it up to let children through to the front. You might be able to see over their heads at runner directly in front of you, but you really need to be able to lean to see runners coming.

Last year, for the first time we had lots of persistent children asking to be allowed through. They didn't ask once, but kept on and on while parents tutted that the crowd didn't open.

Now, I know people will say what a fuss over nothing, but this important enough to those involved that they get up early and stand in a crowd all day, whatever the weather. If you can't imagine caring that much, think about something you do care about.

Is it reasonable for the parents to let DC keep asking and is it reasonable for spectators not to let them through?

Or is it reasonable to expect people who want a place at the front to get there early enough to secure it?

OP posts:
FortofPud · 05/03/2024 14:23

I think you're fine to not. If it was a Christmas parade or something I'd say let the kids through, but this is not a kid centred event. Parents can take them early if it matters that much.

EasyPeelersAreNotTheOnlyFruit · 05/03/2024 14:24

Kids aren't going to stop you seeing, so unless they are exceptionally tall or the parents are asking to come too, I'd let them through.

Geebray · 05/03/2024 14:25

Nope. You want you kids to be at the front? You get there early, and do the time.

Another thing - once a child is at the front, it's a short step to their parent pushing through to "look after" them 🙄

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Families
idontlikealdi · 05/03/2024 14:26

No!

SameSameButDeliverance · 05/03/2024 14:26

If I’d seen my running friends, I’d let kids through. If I had not, I would not.

ASighMadeOfStone · 05/03/2024 14:26

No.

Original poster
Calculuses · 05/03/2024 14:27

EasyPeelersAreNotTheOnlyFruit · 05/03/2024 14:24

Kids aren't going to stop you seeing, so unless they are exceptionally tall or the parents are asking to come too, I'd let them through.

They do though, everyone is leaning to see runners approaching and you can't lean if you've got a child in front of you. There's no point just seeing the runner perpendicular to where you're standing you'll never see the ones you're looking for.

OP posts:
Original poster
Calculuses · 05/03/2024 14:28

SameSameButDeliverance · 05/03/2024 14:26

If I’d seen my running friends, I’d let kids through. If I had not, I would not.

Yes of course once all our people are done, but it's a long day because some of them are slow!

OP posts:
Shygirl74 · 05/03/2024 14:30

I'm 5foot1 so hardly tall myself
No I wouldn't let them through until I'd seen who I wanted to see
If I make the effort to go early and get a spot I'm not giving it up

Side note as a short person who struggles to see concerts at times, there's nothing worse than finally getting a spot, usually just to see a screen not even the act and people come bulldozing through to get to the front / stand in front of me

SirenSays · 05/03/2024 14:30

I'd probably let them through but as a parent No means No I'd be absolutely bloody mortified if they kept asking and move them.

Polominty · 05/03/2024 14:34

Child entered event absolutely you should let children through, this event no obligation to. I’m a soft touch where kids are involved but that’s just me and even I would put my foot down about parents going in front as well to “ keep an eye on them”. If they are not old enough to stand there themselves then they need to be with their parents, behind you. I also wouldn’t personally push my own kids in front of strangers at such a crowded event where I wasn’t able to keep a good eye on them.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 05/03/2024 14:39

They're not unreasonable to ask, you're not unreasonable to say no. At an event that's for children, I think it would be more unreasonable to say no, but this isn't a children's event.

The parents are however unreasonable to let them keep on asking when people have said no!

Hakunatomato · 05/03/2024 14:50

We slept on the ground the night before Princess Diana’s funeral. Many parents rocked up an hour before and pleading with us to let kids stand in front of us. We refused, as we had been there all night. A couple next to us allowed kids to stand there and before long, the parents were trying to push us out so they could stand next to their kids. Sorry, no. If you’re so keen, you take your kids very early, and explain why.

easylikeasundaymorn · 05/03/2024 14:51

No for the reasons already said. Loads of kids in the primary school near me are taller than me for one thing. Besides which if its an event with lots of kids its too many to let through. Different to something where the event is vast majority adults. Plus as the pp said if its a child small enough to need to go right to the front to be able to see chances are their parents won't be happy fornthem to be that far away and will want to squeeze in too.

Ratfinkstinkypink · 05/03/2024 14:55

I would ask if there were specific runners I wanted to cheer on because my child is in a wheelchair and had a visual impairment, he wouldn't do well waiting for hours on end for his runners to come through so we would be moving from mile to mile. Sometimes people understand our situation and accommodate him. I am hoping to go and support my daughter at the Brighton marathon and it is a balancing act between between being their for my birth children and looking after my fostered children.

takemeawayagain · 05/03/2024 14:59

Nope. not even for a more child centred event like a parade. If I've been stood there waiting for an hour so that I've got a good spot I'm not going to let anyone just come along and go in front.

Original poster
Calculuses · 05/03/2024 15:00

Ratfinkstinkypink · 05/03/2024 14:55

I would ask if there were specific runners I wanted to cheer on because my child is in a wheelchair and had a visual impairment, he wouldn't do well waiting for hours on end for his runners to come through so we would be moving from mile to mile. Sometimes people understand our situation and accommodate him. I am hoping to go and support my daughter at the Brighton marathon and it is a balancing act between between being their for my birth children and looking after my fostered children.

I don't think anyone would have said no to a child in a wheelchair.

You can't just let them through "for a minute" because the gap closes and you never get your space back.

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 05/03/2024 15:03

I think that it's not the children at the front that's the issue - it's the parents who would then also push through to be with their children. That's what people are afraid of, perhaps?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 05/03/2024 15:05

Kids can go on their parents' shoulders too if it's that important.

Ratfinkstinkypink · 05/03/2024 15:05

Calculuses · 05/03/2024 15:00

I don't think anyone would have said no to a child in a wheelchair.

You can't just let them through "for a minute" because the gap closes and you never get your space back.

Show quote history

You'd be surprised how many people try to block him out from seeing things and try to push in front of him.

Original poster
Calculuses · 05/03/2024 15:06

Ratfinkstinkypink · 05/03/2024 15:05

You'd be surprised how many people try to block him out from seeing things and try to push in front of him.

Show quote history

That's sad, I don't think anyone in my group would do it, is what I meant

OP posts:
TheMessiahIsMySister · 05/03/2024 15:06

Agree, it’s not just the children you let in - although that’s enjoying enough when you’ve arrived early to get a good spot, and then others want to push in - it’s the adults who’ll inevitably want to accompany them.

OP - YANBU. And if they keep asking, just breezily say - you’ll need to get here earlier next year if you want a spot at the front - and then don’t budge.

blacksax · 05/03/2024 17:05

Christ, there's some selfish people about and this thread really sums up what's wrong in society today. What does it matter to you whether a child stands in front of you? You can easily see in between people's shoulders even if you are 3-4 rows back. Children can't do that. Kindness and consideration for others really has gone out of the window.

It's no good saying 'get there earlier then' because even if they got there first thing and had a place at the front, little kids need the toilet more often than adults. So they lose their place and then can't get it back.

Original poster
Calculuses · 05/03/2024 17:07

blacksax · 05/03/2024 17:05

Christ, there's some selfish people about and this thread really sums up what's wrong in society today. What does it matter to you whether a child stands in front of you? You can easily see in between people's shoulders even if you are 3-4 rows back. Children can't do that. Kindness and consideration for others really has gone out of the window.

It's no good saying 'get there earlier then' because even if they got there first thing and had a place at the front, little kids need the toilet more often than adults. So they lose their place and then can't get it back.

Edited

I've explained why it matters (twice). You really can't see if you can't lean over the barriers. You need to be able to see runners approaching not just passing you or you won't be able to pick anyone out.

OP posts:
Twentypastfour · 05/03/2024 17:10

It would depend. If one of the adults were to say “oh actually, their Mum / Dad / whoever is expected to pass here on the next few minutes” (given you can track on the app) then I think it would be the nice thing to do to let the child see at the front for 5-10 mins. But if they’re just a general spectator and want to be there a while, I wouldn’t move.