Would I be wrong to talk to school about team selection?

[Mushroomwithaview]

Ignore the time of year. I'm not in UK and our school dates are different.

Dd is 12. She plays a sport. She played for her primary school team and was top scorer for the last 2 years. She was the only girl on her team for the past year. She won the school cup for the sport. I think it's fair to say that she's pretty good at her sport. She works hard at it, trains a lot, and absolutely loves it.

She started a new school - much bigger, lots of different primary schools feeding in. She tried out and made the second team. She was absolutely happy with that. We did get a few messages from people expressing surprise that she hadn't made the first team, but people can be silly, and honestly she's 12 and playing school sport, not a career athlete!!

There are three school teams. 1st team gets a proper coach, plays in a better league, and goes to tournament. 2nd and 3rd teams are lumped in together, don't get a coach, and don't go to tournament.

I have now seen all 3 teams play various matches and it is clear that whoever selected the teams either had no idea what they were doing or has deliberately evened out the first 2 teams by putting newer and less able players together with stronger players in both the 1st and second teams. My daughter and a couple of others on her team are very clearly much stronger, fitter and better players than some of the kids on the 1st team - some of whom are struggling to play a full match.

The first team were short and they asked my daughter to play, and she was a noticeably strong player in the first team - along with a couple of others. Their coach immediately asked her to play up front.

Now I wouldn't mind if everyone got the same opportunities, but it seems unfair that my daughter won't get a decent coach or to go to tournament when other less able kids will. What was the criteria for selecting teams? It definitely wasn't ability.

Can I talk to the school about this? Or would they just roll their eyes and think I'm being precious about my child? If I can talk to school, how do I put it? It just doesn't seem fair.

It’s hard to say without knowing what the culture / ethos is around sports in the country you are in.

At DDs school they don’t set them in teams for a number of reasons but the biggest one being that players develop at different rates. My DD only joined last month as she’d previously had a diary clash. She played her 2nd game for the a team.

the sessions, matches are teacher led tho.

I wouldn’t speak to the school, no. How would your daughter explain to others being moved? She got her parent(s) to have a word? They obviously don’t place on merit for whatever reason.

What I would do is look for a decent opportunity outside of the academic environment to nurture her talent.

If she is super keen then I'd have a word just in a "DD is really keen to make it on the first team so she can do the competitions/training" whatever it is and so you're wondering how the selection works, will it change through the year etc

Schools don't always set teams on ability.

You may need to look at her doing h the e sport outside school if you want her to develop.

Can I talk to the school about this? Or would they just roll their eyes and think I'm being precious about my child?
Yes, I think they would. I don't see any reason though, why your DD shouldn't go and speak to them about it. Coach her in what to say, something along the lines of "I really enjoyed playing for the first team because of .... what do I need to do to play for them all the time."

She's 12, she needs to show she wants to progress not that mummy thinks she should be in the first team. Go with her for moral support if she needs it or to talk details after, but she should be the one who asks.

Agree with this message.

I think the way girls sport is generally handled in state secondaries has a lot to be desired.

First of all, no, I wouldn’t say anything.

how long has she been at this new school?

at mine, there is loads of movement between teams during the first 6 months. If the ‘proper’ coach has seen her play and she did well, I’m sure it’s a question of time until she’s moved to the A team.

If sh played for the first team that time, they clearly have seen her play and made their decision.

I suppose you could query what it's based on.

But. To be that level, she must be playing outside of school too? Just focus on the outside of school team and do school for fun.

I don't know you from Adam op, so don't know if this cap fits.,. But, I see so often parents who don't understand team sports thinking their child is better than they are because they don't understand what makes a good team player. We had a girl on our hockey team once and the mum thought she was awesome - and she was in a skills sense, could pick the ball up in our 25 and take it all the way to the other end zooming and skilling past others. But. She always always ended up losing the ball so she was of zero value to our team. In fact, a disaster because we'd all be out of position when she finally took on one player too many and lost the ball. Keeping the ball is the best skill anyone can have and so the person who quietly gets the ball and quickly moves it onto her own team us of far more value. Also, scoring goals im no way means you're a good player, other people might be doing everything else and you knock it in. So, I'd only say something if you know a lot about sport and are 💯 sure your child is as good as you think she is.

I would speak to the school because I do not care about being that parent, and in this case I would want to understand what their strategy is - clearly they have one. It could be that they want to make sport as enjoyable as possible for the greatest number of kids, regardless of talent, which I would be fine with, but it may not work for your daughter.

More importantly, if the sport is important to your daughter, I would be looking for a team completely separate from school where she can train seriously and play competitively. She could then decide whether to keep playing for the school team or not, if it wouldn't be a good use of her time or would conflict with the team where she stands to learn more and develop.

Agree with PP , train outside school . She has already been noticed and will do her more good to earn her place. If she doesn't at school then at least she can work on excelling in her club

As it's a team sport, maybe there are things they want her to learn before going to the first team that she can learn in the second team. If she's one of the better players on the second team, it may be that they want her to learn how to captain or direct tactically or whatever and she can do that better there than in the first team? (Disclaimer, I know nothing about top level team sport!)

Thanks for all the replies.

Dd does play club - but school sport here is a big thing and dd will miss out.

I honestly wouldn't care about this if the 2nd team got a coach, space to practice, and the chance to go to tournament. It's not about not being on the first team.

If they are spreading out qualities or abilities, that's fine. Then let all the teams go to tournament and have a coach. (They can't. Funding for just one team).

Watching today I wondered if maybe there was a mistake in cap numbers for selecting the teams. There's one little boy on the first team who doesn't really understand how to play, and needed to come off to have a rest about 4 times. He was utterly steamrollered by the opposition. And all of that would be absolutely fine (they're 12, remember) if it weren't for the fact that he's going to tournament to represent the school, while dd and some of the kids in her team who have played for 3 years and put a lot into it are not.

I think I'm going to go and speak to the sports head and ask if I've understood correctly that these teams are now set for the year.

The selection process was 2 morning training sessions and a couple of high-schoolers selecting the teams.

I would speak to the school. I would ask what the strategy is because there are children on the first team who seem to struggle and children in the second team who seem more capable and you want to understand so you can support the school and your daughter better. I have no qualms about being that parent. If they can't explain, there's no problem. If they can't, you know where you stand.

YOU should not be talking to the school, but your daughter can. She’s almost a teenager and she can take responsibility for her training. She can go to the head coach and ask him what does she need to do to get to play in the first team, say how she enjoyed the experience and is happy to work with him to get her there.
Any coach worth his salt would really appreciate that. It shows interest and dedication.

I think it's reasonable to ask what can your dd do to get a place on the first team. If all teams were treated equally it wouldn't matter but they are not

It does seem unfair. I think it would be better for your daughter to advocate for herself, though. Also, this just happened to pop up on my facebook feed today, and it made me think of this thread 😁

I've come back to update the thread.
I didn't say anything.
Dd didn't say anything either. In the meantime she was spotted playing in the B grade and invited to join a multi-school development squad, so as far as she was concerned she got to play some decent sport with a strong team and she was happy with that.

However, some of the stronger players in the first team were wondering about the fact that they would soon be in a much stronger league and some of their teammates were quite new to the sport, still getting the hang of it, not very fit, and they were likely to be absolutely destroyed in the higher league. Dd was being asked to 'step in' for most of the 1st team games.

And THEN it turned out that the highschoolers who the school had asked to oversee team selection were actually the coaches for one of the primary schools who feed into the big school. They had simply put all of their (C-grade) girls into the top team because they know them and wanted to give them a great opportunity. My daughter was never in with a chance! It all came to light and the school decided that the initial team selection was just a starting point, and held try-outs again, this time overseen by the head coach and an independent club coach. My dd was selected for the first team this time.

I know it seems a lot of drama over children's sport, but it's the unfairness that bothered me.

Now I wouldn't mind if everyone got the same opportunities

Your own words from upthread

Just leave them to get on with it. It's a school kids sport not the olympics!!