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Original poster

Ex husband problems

61 replies

BeBlueSwan · 03/03/2024 14:34

Hello. Myself and my ex husband have an 11 y/o child. My child has been offered a high school place which I am happy with. Child dad not happy. Only wants him to go to the school he visited. He never viewed the school we were offered despite the last 2 yrs I told him when the open evenings were. He's demanding I "get him in that school" over texts . He's only doing this as he wants his own way. He knew the school we were offered were on the list of schools that were applied for. Thr school offered us a good school and i thought it was more suited to pur child. I've got to see him in 2 hours as I need to pick my child up. I've been an anxious mess ever since this started and I keep shaking. I dnt really know what I'm expecting posting on here I guess just some advice or support. I just don't know what to do anymore.

OP posts:
OurChristmasMiracle · 03/03/2024 15:18

“Feel free to lodge an appeal on the place offered” and leave it at that.

Original poster
BeBlueSwan · 03/03/2024 15:20

TwylaSands · 03/03/2024 15:17

Then dont respond. Can someone else collect your child?

Show quote history

Unfortunately not.
He'll try and scare me with saying he'll take me to court and get my child taken off me ... or he'll not let me jave my child's passport to go on holiday.

OP posts:
ConflictedCheetah · 03/03/2024 15:21

BeBlueSwan · 03/03/2024 15:20

Unfortunately not.
He'll try and scare me with saying he'll take me to court and get my child taken off me ... or he'll not let me jave my child's passport to go on holiday.

Show quote history

You don't have to reply though. He can try (he won't) but wouldn't be successful anyway.

Or just say 'ok' like you're acknowledging what he said. You're not committing to actually doing anything but it sounds a bit like you're agreeing.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Relationship problems
ConflictedCheetah · 03/03/2024 15:22

How frustrating that he has your child's passport though. Not sure what you can do about that one.

TwylaSands · 03/03/2024 15:23

BeBlueSwan · 03/03/2024 15:20

Unfortunately not.
He'll try and scare me with saying he'll take me to court and get my child taken off me ... or he'll not let me jave my child's passport to go on holiday.

Show quote history

If you are resident parent, why does he have the passport anyway? Get that back and keep it

unbelievablescenes · 03/03/2024 15:23

Let him take you to court, as if he will. He's full of shit and a bully. You're letting the crap coming out of his mouth carry WAY too much weight. If he wanted to see his child more he'd be doing it. Ask for the passport and if he doesn't give it to you, mark it lost and apply for a new one. You're not going to change the school so just nod and agree.

N0Tfunny · 03/03/2024 15:25

ConflictedCheetah · 03/03/2024 15:22

How frustrating that he has your child's passport though. Not sure what you can do about that one.

She can report the password as lost and apply for another one. Then she needs to keep her mouth shut and not tell her ex anything about it.

If she plans to take the child aboard on holiday and her ex doesn’t consent, she needs to get legal advice first .

fruity81 · 03/03/2024 15:25

The school tjat ex wants him to go is closer to my home

this is interesting. So what’s his motivation?

id wait for your DS to get back OP as i suspect the picture will be clearer

Original poster
BeBlueSwan · 03/03/2024 15:25

ConflictedCheetah · 03/03/2024 15:22

How frustrating that he has your child's passport though. Not sure what you can do about that one.

Yeah he needed it last so he has it and he's jst sent it off to be renewed. He withheld it from me when we first split. Luckily I did manage to get it and I could take my son on holiday. Hoping it will have all calmed down by the time we are due to go on hol and it won't be an issue.

OP posts:
fruity81 · 03/03/2024 15:26

you said you’ve been getting on ok for years

and yet he refuses to give you the child’s passport?

There is clearly a lot going on here

Original poster
BeBlueSwan · 03/03/2024 15:26

fruity81 · 03/03/2024 15:25

The school tjat ex wants him to go is closer to my home

this is interesting. So what’s his motivation?

id wait for your DS to get back OP as i suspect the picture will be clearer

His motivation is because its the only school he viewed so my child must go there. Its to get his own way and thats all.

OP posts:
fruity81 · 03/03/2024 15:28

BeBlueSwan · 03/03/2024 15:26

His motivation is because its the only school he viewed so my child must go there. Its to get his own way and thats all.

Show quote history

but it is closer to yours, which makes his choice bizarre as he is on the other side of manchester

did you put “his” school down on the list?

fruity81 · 03/03/2024 15:30

are you able to name the two schools?

Woodentu · 03/03/2024 15:30

fruity81 · 03/03/2024 15:25

The school tjat ex wants him to go is closer to my home

this is interesting. So what’s his motivation?

id wait for your DS to get back OP as i suspect the picture will be clearer

His motivation is solely to upset, distress, punish and control the OP. He doesn't care about the school or he would have applied for it himself. I bet he has no clue how to apply for a school place.
OP, look into how to replace a lost or stolen passport now, but say nothing. Don't tell him anything and don't tell your son anything that his father can use to bully him.

BoohooWoohoo · 03/03/2024 15:31

He can take you to court if he feels so strongly 🙄

Don’t worry about any threats to take you to court for contact. He’d get 50% at most and half of that would be during the week so he’d be responsible for the 25 mile school run.

fruity81 · 03/03/2024 15:32

best to just wait for your son to come back op

and then sit down with him and have a chat

i suspect there’s been a lot of chatting between the two over the weekend

Original poster
BeBlueSwan · 03/03/2024 15:32

fruity81 · 03/03/2024 15:28

but it is closer to yours, which makes his choice bizarre as he is on the other side of manchester

did you put “his” school down on the list?

Show quote history

Yes it was 2nd on the list as we are quite limited for high schools. He's also accused me of putting "his" school down as third when I said it was second. Again ...made up as I absolutely did not and he hasn't even seen "the list" I submitted. He's deluded.

OP posts:
Original poster
BeBlueSwan · 03/03/2024 15:34

fruity81 · 03/03/2024 15:32

best to just wait for your son to come back op

and then sit down with him and have a chat

i suspect there’s been a lot of chatting between the two over the weekend

My son hates having to make choices and he's never shown to side with me or his dad (which I am not saying he should) but he struggles making decisions.

OP posts:
fruity81 · 03/03/2024 15:34

very easy to show the list op
send him the email confirmation

so his was second choice and it’s closer but you got your first choice which is further away and a trek to go to? So the catchment area is very big?

Original poster
BeBlueSwan · 03/03/2024 15:35

fruity81 · 03/03/2024 15:34

very easy to show the list op
send him the email confirmation

so his was second choice and it’s closer but you got your first choice which is further away and a trek to go to? So the catchment area is very big?

Yes the school he has been offered has a large catchment and there os a school bus if my son wants to use it or I drive him like I do now. The school near home has a small catchment whixh we r in.

OP posts:
fruity81 · 03/03/2024 18:35

BeBlueSwan · 03/03/2024 15:35

Yes the school he has been offered has a large catchment and there os a school bus if my son wants to use it or I drive him like I do now. The school near home has a small catchment whixh we r in.

Show quote history

why the small catchment? smaller school? or very popular so lots of apps?

fruity81 · 03/03/2024 18:36

what has your ds said since being back?

Original poster
BeBlueSwan · 03/03/2024 18:44

fruity81 · 03/03/2024 18:36

what has your ds said since being back?

Not sure tbh. I think it's popular as it's a school where junior footballers etc nove to for man utd (or it used to if not now).
DS said he hasn't had a chat with his dad aboit school other than his dad asked him whixh one he got 🤷‍♀️ even though I had already told him. DS said he's not keen on going to a sports heavy school.
His dad didn't mention it when I saw him before, probably because DS was there. I'm sure I'll get a call or text at some point .

OP posts:
TwylaSands · 03/03/2024 18:49

BeBlueSwan · 03/03/2024 18:44

Not sure tbh. I think it's popular as it's a school where junior footballers etc nove to for man utd (or it used to if not now).
DS said he hasn't had a chat with his dad aboit school other than his dad asked him whixh one he got 🤷‍♀️ even though I had already told him. DS said he's not keen on going to a sports heavy school.
His dad didn't mention it when I saw him before, probably because DS was there. I'm sure I'll get a call or text at some point .

Show quote history

Dont respond to it and dont answer the phone.

fruity81 · 03/03/2024 18:55

BeBlueSwan · 03/03/2024 18:44

Not sure tbh. I think it's popular as it's a school where junior footballers etc nove to for man utd (or it used to if not now).
DS said he hasn't had a chat with his dad aboit school other than his dad asked him whixh one he got 🤷‍♀️ even though I had already told him. DS said he's not keen on going to a sports heavy school.
His dad didn't mention it when I saw him before, probably because DS was there. I'm sure I'll get a call or text at some point .

Show quote history

i very much doubt that any state secondary could be described as “sports heavy” given the time allocation for sport in the secondary state system

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