Do all clubs have this problem?

[Soreteatowel]

I'm part of a running club. I'm one of the longest standing members and the club and the running community are a huge part of my life. It's been that way for so long that most of my friends and most of my social life is in some way connected to running or runners.

So, I support all the club runs and other events, but I am also often out with members, who are also friends, either running or doing something sociable, outside of official club events.

This is all good for long periods of time, then someone will take umbrage at not being invited to something and we'll get accused of being clicky. I don't think we are, the group is quite fluid and changes according to who's around when we're talking about arrangements, but of course when arranging things you first ask your friends and the people you know will be interested. With 250 members, they can't all be included every time I go to the pub 🤣

Do all clubs have issues like this from time to time or our members especially touchy or am I getting it all wrong?

Yes, I think it’s a problem with a lot of clubs (and also a lot of friendship groups) where some members haven’t quite grasped differing levels of friendship or have thought themselves to be better friends with others than those others believe, and getting upset that they’re being “left out.”

Something like a casual pub meet that’s open to all I’d generally drop into the group WhatsApp chat so nobody feels like they’ve been actively excluded . If it’s something more selective for a few friends then I’d probably just wouldn’t raise it in front of others who hadn’t been invited, they don’t need to know about it.

It's not something I come across, but I think this is down to the perception of each of us as individuals.

I see LOTS of threads on here where people talk about either themselves or their dc "being excluded" when what they mean is 'not invited' which is not the same thing.

If your club is as huge as 250 people then normal people will realise that obviously some people become closer friends than others and that everyone can't be at everything any other member happens to go to.
Having read MN threads a lot though, I realise ther are a lot of people who struggle to grasp such 'norms'.