Does any one else have a pre-schooler who hates going to classes?!

[Hungrycaterpillarsmummy]

I've tested the water a few times, signing my son up to tennis which he seemed to enjoy when he was there and he came out all smiles. As soon as we walk home he says he doesn't like it and doesn't want to do it again.

I tried him at little dribblers (football). Same again. We've only done it twice. The first time he refused to go back on the pitch after the half time snack. Second time he did stay for the duration but by the second half he was desperate for me to be right beside him, on the pitch!

The only other thing we do is swimming lessons which is a non negotiable. But again, there's always a tantrum before but when he is in the pool he is having a great time!

So, do I just forget about classes (except the swimming?).
The only reason I tried the football one is because I think when he goes to school all the boys will be out playing footy in the playground and he doesn't know how to play. So it came from a worry of him being bullied more than anything. We are in a small town so some of the kids who go to tennis and football are at his nursery and will be going to his primary school.

How do I encourage a bit more social, team building stuff?!

He always says he just wants indoor days. He never has been fond of doing outdoor stuff. My 2 year old is the opposite!

Honestly I wouldn't stress about it. I don't think kids at the bottom end of primary do bully others.
I'd keep going with swimming (non-negociable in my house too) but football forget it, practice playing or passing the ball between you in the garden.

Yes maybe I am overthinking it.

We do have a kick about in the garden. And I've taught him about dribbling then shooting. :)

I just find it wearing when he does have a good time during the activities and even says he had fun etc then in the next sentence says he hates it and won't do it again.

I'm struggling find out what he truly likes. So far it seems to be watching cartoons!!

Classes for preschoolers are not common here.

Oh that's interesting!
There seems to be one for all types of different activities here.

@Hungrycaterpillarsmummy yip and lots of parental guilt if you don't engage. But really lots of these are franchised business ventures.

I think we are all expecting too much of little people who already spent more time away from mum & dad in organised care than was the norm a generation ago.

Yes I think you're right. I felt like that and held off. A lot of his friends have been doing this stuff for 2 years! :o

I'll just keep him with us and have fun :)

"Pre schooler" - so age 3 or 4?
They don't need classes at that age. They really don't.
If he is at a nursery/child minder then he will be doing plenty of activities. If he is home with a sahp them just take him to a Stay and Play type group.

We did swimming and little kickers football with ours at that age. One of them kind of liked it and the other just couldn’t cope. It was when I realised I was starting to bribe him with a doughnut from the bakery if he would just give the ball one kick and then come back and stand at the side, that I realised it was stupid. We stopped going and signed him up for kids rugby when he was 7 ish and that went great. We did also give swimming a rest for a couple of years and he picked it up much more quickly when he was readier. School was great for building his confidence and giving him ideas of things he actually wanted to try too.

Yes he's 4 and he goes to nursery 4 days a week.

I mean, I was starting to get sucked in to it all. He only went to tennis 7 times and football 1.5 times. So yeh I'll stop overthinking it now.

Thanks everyone, my mind is at rest now. :)

Have you tried talking to him about what he doesn't like? Have you talked to the instructors at the class to find out what they think?

As others have said, I don't think it's really necessary at this age so no need to force him if he's not interested. But if you did want him to do one then it would make sense to try and find out what it is he isn't keen on.

When I ask he just says he doesn't like it and doesn't want to do it.

He's the kind of child who takes a while to warm up and become confident in what he's doing/speaking to people. And then when he gets to that point, there's no stopping him.

I am just worried he's very anxious about stuff (like protesting to go but then enjoying it when he's there).

Remember l, these classes exist to make money. Learning to swim at 6 not 4 is fine. There will be other boys who don't have football lessons... they will be just ve kicking a ball at each other, not playing a 90 minute match.

Don’t get into thinking your son needs to like football and be good at it in order to avoid being bullied. Let him be who he is and like what he likes. Playing football (or whatever other crazes/interests might make him one of the crowd) is not a protection against bullying.

If he's at nursery four days a week then he probably does just want to stay at home and chill the rest of the time. Fair enough, I'd say!

If he wasn't at nursery I'd persevere with the classes, but he's already getting his out of the house time/social time/activities/group work/listening to a teacher covered at nursery.

My DS's slightly older, but in reception playtime they mostly played superheroes/ imagination games, not football. I think the older years do, but by then he'll have done it in pe lessons anyway.

We didn't do any classes other than ones I would join in, even swimming before school. I'd take them swimming but not to lessons. Waste of time, money and effort and I didn't want them to hate going.

They both now have loads of extra curricular activities that they choose to go to. I would wait OP.

I was thinking about this recently as my 4 yo has no interest in any classes we have tried and his big sister wants to do every class going. But then I was thinking back to when I was a child and I don't think there were preschool classes in everything, I think people mostly started clubs when they were older, when they know more about what they like. Pretty sure it's all just a money making thing getting 3 yos to do baby ballet, tap, gym, ninjas, coding, rugby, yoga etc etc.

I would keep going with swimming. Even if in theory they learn quicker when they are older.
Water confidence is massive and can take a while to get that back. I had a fairly confident 3yo, happy in water, then covid hit pools closed for a year. I think we got him in pools twice maybe 3 times in that year.
When he got back in the pool at 4 it took the best part of a year to get confidence back and really it wasn't until we started taking him twice a week he got confidence.

Other kids in his swim class were the same, Inc a 7 yo with zero confidence.

Oh I'm absolutely not stopping the swimming! We live very near the beach and my parents have a river going through their garden. Swimming will 100% continue.