Chat for depressed mums. Anyone want to join me?

[Tiredangryfrustratedandsad]

I have 2 kids age 4 and 1. I had the oldest quite young, then had the second because that’s what you do and I wanted DD to have a sibling.

I love them and would lay my life down for them but I am so depressed about what my life is now, and resentful of DP. He doesn’t even do anything wrong, he pulls his weigh, but it can never be truly equal - the youngest just wants me all the time, I’ve given up 2 years of my career to take maternity and that’s had serious ramifications, the pregnancies were tough and stressful in various ways.

I find everything such a chore. It’s the same thing day after day. Get up, dressed, get the oldest to school, look after the youngest (who is toddling and just wants to walk around or whinge and fights naps), make food, clean up, make food, clean up, pick up the oldest, try to stop them from injuring each other as I make yet more food, do the bedtime routine which I dread and when they’re finally asleep, clean up, fall into bed and wait to be woken at 3am by the 1 year old. DP gets up with him but he cries and screams so much I’m awake anyway.

We have no family help, I don’t go out, my friends are on WhatsApp only as I live 2 hours from them and overnights away are so stressful I needn’t bother. I have no hobbies, my figure is a mess, I have spots, none of my nice clothes fit so I just live in leggings.

Due back at work in a couple of weeks and we’ve already had a mega cold from the baby’s settling in sessions so I’m fucking dreading it and not seeing it as the answer at all.

Does anyone else want to join me and offload.

I’ve discussed this all with him but it won’t make any difference. I just struggle to cope in general. To keep on top of the housework, keep on top of the life admin, get myself ready every day, get the children ready every day, think of things to do, make the meals, fulfil my work commitments, play with them.

I just don’t want to. I have no desire to get up every morning. I dread opening my eyes and having to go through it all again. I just feel sick and full of dread and drag myself through the day feeling worse and worse.

I can’t stop thinking about my old life or if I had stopped at 1 child, the freedom I would have and the things I could do every day. It eats me up to be honest,

op I was you last year!!!! Our now two year old was awful for sleeping. She would wake and wake and wake. I thought I was losing my mind. Her sister is four and it woke her too😂😂😂 so then I had an angry one year old and four old that couldn’t go back to sleep. It was hell. We actually had a third and now both two and four year old sleep through the night. Nothing we did a changed, we just muddled along and one night the wakenings, just like that, stopped. Even when she is sick, sleeps through. I really do hope this will happen for you too, so no advice to give but as they say, this too shall pass! I am also down about my figure and overall health as the pregnancies too were difficult health wise and seriously took their toll. Visiting the gp and she has put me on ozempic to help me lose my weight and also improve my health parameters like blood sugar and drop cholesterol/liver enzymes ect. So I’m feeling a bit more hopeful now that this is a turning point for me! But don’t get me started on all the illness that comes home from nursery, now that may very well break me!!! The 3 month old has already had two rough colds which meant zero sleep for the duration bar naps snatched here and there as we constantly had to be in a steamy bathroom to help the blocked nose. The snot sucker and nose drops just were not enough and she was super angry!

Are you on medication? I nearly had a breakdown when my two eldest were 2 and a baby.

I got put on sertraline, got sleeping tablets. Put them in nursery for a day which was attached to a workhub shared space, my husband worked from that. It was my day to read, rest, swim, watch netflix, see a friend.

Please, get help, I know how hard it is.
PS I went on to have a third too.

Now I’ve read this, you seem clinically depressed. I beg you to get help. Life doesn’t have to be like this xx

I have sertraline which I’m going to start taking in the next few days, I have to time it as it makes me very very very sleepy for about a week (been on it before). I know I’m depressed, clinically, and I know logically things will change or get better. Just hard to believe it right now. Thanks for your kind comments.

I think that going back to work will do you the world of good. Hang in in there, you'll feel like yourself again soon.

Hi,Have you started the Sertraline? How're you feeling now ? Hope you're doing well.