Sex in a long term relationship with children at home?

[toddle]

Apologies if this should have been posted somewhere else it's been years since I've posted anything.

Im aware this will vary and there will always be people at either end of the spectrum but how often do you guys in a similar situation have sex that isn't just a quicky?

Weve been together 10/11 years. For the first three years, every other weekend we were child free, wild times, sunshine and rainbows. We then had a child together and the wild times are now very few and far between. Our daughter is home pretty much 24-7 sleeps out very very rarely. My sons now a teen and up late.

I would say we have pretty regular sex like a quicky or spoon before we go to sleep, a couple of times a week in general. However my dp thinks I should try to put more effort into 'proper sex' meaning stay up later sometimes so the kids are properly asleep then us have more of the wilder sex.

He didn't think our sex life would change if we had a child. I think we both work full time, two kids, a dog, a house to try and keep and I'm frankly ready for bed before my teenage son most nights. I think his expectations are wild. I tell him all the time I'm down for that stuff if we sort a sitter and the kids are out but I'm equally happy with a spoon knowing that one day the kids will move out. I feel blessed to have children and I think wild sex life is just one of the many sacrifices that come with parenting.

Thanks!

Together 10 years, married 3.5 years. Got a toddler and our sex life is back to how it used to be now. But we do it downstairs when dd is asleep.

It is possible if you want it, but you have to prioritise each other and make an effort!

We have been reading romance novels to each other and it gets us in the mood, we flirt with eavh other a lot, kiss and hug often and always laughing and joking with one another.

Older teens here, and only ever when they're both out for the evening. They're too knowing for me to feel comfortable done anything when they're at home.

For the long drawn out sessions, I need the house empty in order to relax. Even with a teenager, there is just too much chance of interruption. We try to take advantage of whatever odd times we do get the house to ourselves.

A sitter and a night away somewhere? A cosy little air bnb or a romantic hotel where you can relax and have a date night and something to anticipate.
It’s very easy to fall into a rut when kids come along, and “when the kids are older/move out” is all well and good but kids stay at home longer these days and before you know it sex becomes a whole “thing” you never get back because you’ve let the spark die.

19 years together , Ds10 at home . We go through stages - will do it 3 nights in a row then nothing for a week . We both work irregular hours so if we have a few spare hours together in the week we do tend to jump into bed 😀

You need to let him know how fucking lucky he is!

The more exciting stuff has definitely decreased as our daughter aged and routines have changed meaning she's later to bed. She's normally got a 9pm bedtime occasionally getting to bed 9.30 my son 10pm.

I would say we're still intimate we hug go to bed in each others arms each night have a spoon/quicky often. I'm fine with quiet under covers spoon at bedtime but anything else is a bit of a no go as I'm too concerned about scaring my kids for life walking into something crazy haha. I don't really have a drive for any of the wilder stuff either I look at dp getting out the bath and think 'god I'm lucky id love to xy' and before I've even got to z the timers going on the oven or the child's come to show me her picture etc etc etc.

I do plan dates and have a few open night bookings paid for that we just haven't been able to use yet due to a mix of lack of childcare/dog sitting.

Yeah that's very true they may be here for decades. In a couple of years my son will be old enough to stay home alone for the night and that will give some freedom to go away for the night and him look after the dog if daughter goes to the in laws.

We did used to have nights alone when we would go visit my mum in another town as we would book a place and my daughter would sleep at granny's however now we have a dog we can't do that. That whole scenario is one of the reasons I didn't want to get a dog just yet as it is restrictive.