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Is this why they call it the Terrible Twos?

3 replies

SparklyRainbowDinosaur · 01/03/2024 18:03

Hi all. Desperately hoping for a bit of advice with my 2.5 year old daughter. She's my first so I've no idea if this is just normal toddler behaviour or if there is something else going on.

She is just so difficult at the moment. I feel like I'm getting it all wrong. She can't seem to just play nicely with her toys, she always wants me to play with her, which I do try and do as much as possible but if I'm making dinner or doing something else she just follows me around whinging, or will do something to get attention like start throwing things or make a beeline for the dog to hit him. I try and make as much time to play with her as possible but realistically it can't be every second.

She will just randomly decide to start hitting me, or bite me or DH seemingly out of the blue and then she will immediately ask if we are OK. Its like she thinks if she asks if we are OK or says sorry it makes the hurting alright but it's proving really difficult to get her to stop doing it. I've bought the book hands are not for hitting, and I know she knows she shouldn't do it but she's just testing the boundaries continuously to the point its exhausting.

I think she finds it really hard to communicate how she feels in words, although her speech generally is fab (can have conversations, full sentences etc). I've tried the whole 'Oh you are feeling angry because of X, but i can't let you hit' type thing and it just seems to have 0 effect.

Everything just feels like a battle. Getting dressed, brushing her teeth, getting in the car or pushchair, eating her dinner. She runs off if we go anywhere or just refuses to walk and gets herself worked up so we have to leave.

I try and let her do as much as she can herself but she just gets SO CROSS the instant things don't go her way. Sometimes we will be waking nicely with her holding my hand and she will just suddenly turn and make her legs go floppy, so it feels like I'm either dragging or along or letting her fall on the floor if I let go! And that feels like a metaphor for everything else at this point.

I've had a really hard week of feeling like I'm constantly at odds with her, DH has been away with work and I've been working as well so I am at the end of my tether.

Sorry this has turned into such a massive rant. I feel like I'm about to burst into tears now! Does this sound like normal behaviour that we just have to keep being persistent with? Or could there be something else going on?

OP posts:
BugsyDrakeTableScape · 01/03/2024 20:02

Yep you've got yourself a two year old alright. All perfectly normal albeit knackering and frustrating.

I think she finds it really hard to communicate

This with bells on. They don't have the skills to express all the things they are feeling and so use the language that gets them understood.

It will pass. Keep doing what you're doing because you're doing great.

MeinKraft · 01/03/2024 20:33

Oh god yes that's all totally standard toddler behavior. My two and a half year old is exactly the same. I'm much more relaxed with her than with her older brother - like you I panicked a lot that there was something underlying causing the behavior but there wasn't, he was just 2. Anyway yeah being relaxed helps, try to take it all in good humour. Give her lots of sympathy and when she totally loses it, just let her have a bit of space to scream it out but be there to give her some comfort afterwards.

SuspiciousLampshade · 01/03/2024 20:38

My just-turned-2 year old is exactly the same and honestly I dread the mornings (as I'm woken up at 5am by being bounced on, followed by 3 hours of whining before nursery) and the evenings (who knew you could scream because you don't want food and scream because you want food at the same time??)

It's a shame really because when he's happy he's the loveliest little boy but he's either deliberately pushing boundaries or screaming the place down a good 70% of the time. I usually just leave him to it after asking if he wants a hug and go do something else in the same room, or give him over to DH if I'm cooking or something. He usually just has to get that frustration out then he calms right down.

This too shall pass, one day 😅

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