How do I pack an entire house with a baby in tow!?

[Barbaricmoonbear]

We move house in 6 days and there is still tonnes of packing to be done.
Im currently on maternity leave with my 5 mo so the most part of the packing is left to me as DH works 7am-5pm and doesn’t get home until gone 6pm. Naturally he is exhausted and we then have the children to feed, bath and organise school/work. There doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day for anything house move related. DH is collecting stepchildren tonight who will be staying until Sunday afternoon, again I won’t rant but it means no help from him again as his children are more of a handful than the baby.
If I attempt to pack anything in the daytime 5mo will scream and cry. He isn’t having many naps at the moment and he’s being very clingy due to teething and a recent ear infection. If I leave the room he cries, if I put him down he cries, if I put him in the sling he cries, I cannot win.
We cannot afford packers so that’s out of the question. I haven’t got anyone who can come and help me, but that’s for another thread so I won’t rant here!
So can anyone share tips for getting everything packed up while wrestling a baby made of iron and not losing the plot in the process!?

His children have been away to their home country since mid feb and this has been his first opportunity to see them. I’m not happy but of course I can’t get involved when it’s been a long time, their mother has clearly arranged it on purpose.
I have told countless people I am struggling and need help with packing or babysitting and not one person has offered, I get the usual ‘how’s the packing’ or ‘that sounds tough I hope you get it sorted soon’.
The move was supposed to be mid-end March so I stupidly acted casual about it assuming I’d get help with packing closer to the time, but now I’m kicking myself.
The removal lorry is my dad’s so he will be doing the actual move with my brother thankfully at no cost.
I am never moving house again! Or having anymore children for that matter!

You mention the school run - how old is/are you elder DC? Could they play with the baby for a bit while you pack? Or could you make a game for them out of packing some stuff while you hold the baby?
How is your baby's head control? If he's got good head control you could try a back carry and see if he likes that better than the front? (Or vice versa if you've been doing back already.)
I definitely agree with PPs that your DH needs to prioritise this - but I realise you can't actually control another person's actions. Ditto asking others for help, assuming you have asked them outright.
Whereabouts are you based? We moved with a 2.5yo and an 8-day old and it was really shit and stressful - just the memory of how awful it was means I would honestly come and help you if you're near me!

Can your dad and brother come round and help you pack? Or ask a friend to come and drink coffee and watch your child while you pack?

Was going to suggest you ask family if they would pay for packers instead of birthday and Christmas presents for all of you this year, but just seen your dad and brother are already doing the move. Does your dad know professional packers he could call on, and do you have any other family/in laws who might help out with the cost and call it your birthday/Christmas presents?

I have told countless people I am struggling and need help with packing or babysitting and not one person has offered

I think you need to say "Would you be able to come over on X day to help me pack / help with the baby while I pack?" I know it feels like people should offer, but if they're not, you need to ask. There's no shame in needing help with a mammoth task like moving house when you have small kids! If that person says no (fair enough) ask somebody else. I've been asked (and have said yes when I've been able) by people I'm not even that close to; they've obviously just run out of options and been desperate.

MIL really got to me yesterday when she facetimed to see baby’s first tooth, she said ‘I bet you aren’t getting any packing done are you’ so I said ‘no it’s impossible to with baby I wish someone would come and help’ her response was ‘yes I bet’ selfish cow. She lives 10 minutes away. She’s never had any of our children for us and never visits either. DH asked her to help months ago for when the move date was known, she said she would try. She doesn’t even work.
Dad and brother can’t help as they work 12 hour shifts so it would feel a cheek, plus it would mean admitting DH is useless and they wouldn’t be happy.
eldest is 5 and happily plays with baby but gets bored after a while and wants to play alone which is fair. Baby still screams if he can’t see me while playing with her.
I should be trying to pack at least something right now but baby won’t take his bottle and I’ve got a mountain of washing to get through. DH kindly put a nappy through the baby wash before leaving for work so I had to pick that out the machine and re wash everything.
When will it end 😫

As others have said, just pay a packing company to do it. It's amazing. With ours we got them to take the furniture down and reassemble it in the new house- so the all our beds were built ready. And honestly, it's an absolute game changer. It's one of those things where once you've used one you would never not use one again!

So, one adult is going to have to have all the kids all weekend, and the other is going to have to pack.
I'm guessing that's DH with the kids - and he needs to be out all day with all of them, Sat and Sun.

I saw you have no cost as your dad and brother are doing it, but for the stress this will cause, just pay a company to do it all. It's so worth it.

Just pack for you and dc. Let useless DH sort himself out and flap about like a useless twatflap.

From mums that cant clean their homes because they have a baby or children
to cant pack boxs because they have a baby or children.
🤔

One of you takes all the children while the other packs and then you switch. You have all weekend, so dh takes all the kids all weekend and you pack. When we moved house, we spent literally weeks packing with one of us doing the parenting while the other packed and sorted. We both used AL to get it done.

Don't worry about the washing OP, the packing is more important. You can pack up the dirty clothes and just leave enough for each person to wear each day and that's it. Throw them all in a box now!

If MIL can afford not to work, can she lend you the money to pay for a packing company? Obviously your DH should be the one to ask her.

As a single parent, on crutches, with a high-needs baby, I did it in the 30-40 minute gaps whilst the baby slept. I just hobbled back and forth between settling baby and packing up. We moved 3x in the first 15m, all the boxes and moving things unsettled the baby so I did it in the 3 days before hiring the van for the last disruption possible.

Your absolutely useless sounding husband needs to get his act together for a start. Shame on him in leaving you in this position. And I still don't get why he hasn't seen his children since Christmas (them being away the last 2 weeks doesn't explain the 6 before that).

If you can't stretch to a packer maybe you can get a student to come round and help look after your baby whilst you pack? It'll probably be cheaper.

Thirdly, you might have to accept that packing isn't going to involve meticulously sorting things, decluttering etc, and just go with putting everything straight into boxes. That should be a lot quicker. Literally, open cupboard, transfer to box, write which room it goes in on top and seal. It won't be pretty but it will be much quicker. Have boxes available in each room so wherever you are you can pack a few things.

Fourthly, your friend who you helped - maybe you just bluntly need to ask. Don't hint about how hard it is - actually ask.

House work and washing etc has to be left for now. During the day, give yourself a small target that has to be done before you pick the baby up. Distract in any way possible until the task is packed. Then time with baby and when content enough, start another one. You’re not getting overwhelmed with trying to pack a full room and feeling you’ve done nothing. Evening needs to be one person wrangling the kids and the other starts packing. When kids are in bed, the other joins and you work into the night. Short term loss for DH sleep unfortunately but you’re not a miracle worker. This weekend, DH takes all the children including baby, leaves in the morning and doesn’t come home until tea. Leaves you to get 2 full days in. If he isn’t happy about it, tough, that’s life when you’re moving house with young children in tow.

Put the baby in a travel cot baby will be fine and crack on with it.
Get the bigger kids involved give them a box each turn it in to fun.

Ask for help.

If no help is forthcoming you're going to have to crack on I'm afraid. Packing is overwhelming, so break it down.

Go one room at a time, make up 5 boxes and pack them. Repeat until the room is finished. Do not at this late stage try to seperate stuff for charity or tip etc, you don't have time. Just pack it all and you'll have to sort it at the other end.

Alternatively, if your baby is bottle fed tell your DH that he's on childcare duty all weekend for ALL of the kids and he needs to be out of the house as much as possible so you can pack up the house.

Can you try a different kind of sling? Sometimes babies hate one and love another. Search online if there is a local sling library you could borrow from for a week or ask friends.
My DS often cried at first in the sling if around the house but if I went for a reasonably speedy walk for a few mins he'd go to sleep then I could return home and potter about.
Otherwise I think your best bet is insisting DH take all children out tomorrow and you blitz the packing.

Yes, terrible that their husbands, family and friends all expect her do it singlehandedly, don't you think?🤔

What is dh's solution? He seems to be leaving the worry AND the packing to you. As others have said, this weekend one on childcare and feeding duty, the other packing. Why once the children are in bed aren't you both cracking on? I know you're exhausted but after dh gets in of an evening there's still 5 hours to get a few boxes packed. Hopefully he spent last weekend without his dc getting the bulk of the packing done?

OP have you actually asked anyone to come and help? You seem to be waiting for people to offer, then moaning that no one is helping.

Your husband can have the baby all weekend with his older kids while you pack some stuff

Sorry OP, what a stressful challenge. My best friend pretty much packed my entire house - then unpacked it the other side - when I had to do the same with a baby last year. Your friends and family should be doing more.

This isn’t just cleaning a house though is it? This is packing up potentially a lifetime of stuff, clothes and belongings for at least 3 people, more if the step children have rooms at op’s house. And op is asking people for advice because clearly she’s trying her best with a DH who sounds like he’s not being very proactive in offering help or solutions. She asked for suggestions, not criticism.