I’m 23 stone + - I’m desperate to lose weight but don’t know where to start

[feelbloodyuseless]

I do have PCOS, and am on four meds for mental health - one of which says weight gain is an extremely common side effect - so I’m aware that isn’t helping.

But I’m sick of being this size now. I have no energy at all, I miss being able to go for a walk without having to stop to catch my breath every 10 minutes. I miss being able to climb stairs; stand up to shower, tidy the house. I’m permanently absolutely exhausted.

I’m about a 28-30 on bottom and 26-28 on top depending what I’m wearing. 30-32 for jackets now.

I’m addicted to food, I comfort eat and I binge eat. I eat for the sake of eating, I feel
happier if I have plenty of food.

I’m desperately lonely and unhappy, and have been for a very long time. I’m getting MH help and they keep saying my weight will get sorted in time but I’m desperate not to feel this way anymore.

I’ve been big since I was about 6 - by primary four I was 7.5 stone. By age 14, I was 15 stone.

I’ve four times lost significant amounts, the lowest I’ve been is 12 stone, but when I try to restrict or calorie count it feels like punishment and exercise is too bloody hard. And when life gets hard again I just regain 10 times more than I lost.

I’m trying to apply for jobs just now and I’m sure a fat, sweaty mess isn’t what people want working for them.

I don’t know where to begin. GP said all they can suggest is monitoring intake. I’ve got a coil for the PCOS as my periods stopped a few years ago (I’m 32). Nothing else.

I honestly wonder if I’m diabetic, my family have said they think I’ve got sleep apnoea, but I don’t know and I don’t know what to do.

Family have said to ask the NHS for surgery - two of them have had a sleeve - but I don’t think they’ll do it with my mental health being as it is.

I don't think it's licensed for weight loss in the UK ATM.

Start with eat less (especially sugary stuff) exercise more .

you will loose weight as you’re standing metabolic needs will be quite high.

I struggled with my weight my whole adult life. Yo yo dieting - losing weight but them putting on triple the amount. Huge issue with binge eating. I also had a diagnosis of PCOS.
Two years ago, I took out a loan and had the gastric sleeve procedure. It wasn't always easy, but it has honestly saved my life. I also understand that getting a loan isn't possible for everyone. I have maintained my weight loss and lost over 12 stone. I'm still not completely fixed, but my relationship with food is totally different.

I really feel for you. I’ve never been your weight or even close to it but my 2 best friends one is a size 16-18 and other size 18-20. Both have other health issues.

What worked for one last year was Ozempic until her GP stopped it and lighter life and other training and diets. The other one emotionally eats and over Covid dropped to a size 14 mostly through walks and better eating. Daily walks for 30 mins each day and a dance movement online class called Body Groove.

I know if I don’t get my 20-30 min walk a day I don’t feel good. I’m not going to lie and say I don’t emotionally eat as I do!

Watch Michael Mosley’s recent programmes on channel 4 on catch up. He has great ideas for eating healthier rather than diets.

A school friend of mine got a gastric band/sleeve a few years ago and like you hasn’t looked back.

I think banning foods like takeaways altogether isn’t good. Maybe treat yourself to a healthy or healthier takeaway once a month. Swap crisps for pop chips. Try Ryvita or Warburtons thins rather than bread. Buy jelly pots then when you finish them use the empty pots to make sugar free jellies. Swap fruit and veg for snacks. Boiled eggs and fat free yogurt are free on weight watchers plus chicken without skin.

Suggest getting involved with https://projectlinusuk.org.uk/ to keep your hands busy.
Set a target for making your first and then keep going.

Your GP can refer you to a Tier 3 weight management service. You normally have to do the 12 week diet first before they will refer. Tier 3 gives access to weight loss medication. Expect to have to jump through hoops though.

Hi OP following as I can complete relate - I'm 21 stone and also had a lot of trauma in life which has led to horrible over eating habits and also using food as a crutch for life in general, celebrating, rewarding myself, comforting myself ...

I was diagnosed with sleep apnoea last year, it's severe unfortunately. I stop breathing 100 times an hour and my oxygen dips way down to 80. I've been given a mask but it's incredibly hard to use and still grappling with it. I was diagnosed very quickly as I was falling asleep in the day mid conversation and it was severely affecting my MH and physical health (and truthfully it still is)

I called the GP and explained my exhaustion, they sent me a questionnaire about my sleep and an Epworth sleep chart, and they also sent my partner a questionnaire. Once they were done and submitted they then arranged for a sleep study at home as I scored so highly. Sleep study took months to arrange but results were back quickly, and diagnosed with severe obstructive sleep apnea.

It's an incredibly vicious cycle because sleep apnoea wrecks your hormones - it makes you feel permanently hungry but also never full. I've gained another 2 stone in the last year so this thread has definitely inspired me to contact the GP again. I know I need to work on the apnea too but if I keep ballooning up like this I'm terrified of what'll happen. Here to chat if you need and best of luck - until people are in our shoes they've no idea how it's not just a case of "eat more salad, eat less and move more"

Prepare to start your diet you diet a week or so in advance. Get rid of all your junk for and start getting your mind around the idea that you will be starting your diet. You should also start logging every single thing you eat. I'd use MyFitnessPal. Do this before you actually diet though so you get a feel for what's what. You might be shocked at the things you eat that are high calorie that you could easily do without.

Then, when you actually start you diet do it really gradually. Going from eating heartily to suddenly eating a very restricted diet is too much of a shock. I'd start the diet on quite a high calorie intake. Maybe 1500 or even higher. You should get used to stopping snacking and eating smaller/less calorific food but it takes time.

Once you are dieting check the amount of protein etc you are eating.

Accept that you will feel peckish at times but have things in you can eat.

Cauliflower rice is amazing! I use it instead of rice. It's not as tasty but it's not bad at all.

Keep reminding yourself that loosing weight is something that you can do for yourself. It should feel like a really positive thing to do. No one else has control over what you eat.

When I diet I have a mini magnum every day. Nice thick chocolate and icecream for only 144 calories. The double caramel ones are only 167.

@feelbloodyuseless "When I’ve lost before it’s been a case of cutting out snacks and sweets, cutting out takeaways and smaller portions. I struggle to cook because of anxiety, my friend sent me a huge lot of recipes that were healthy with advice but I still eat rubbish."

You'll never lose weight if you don't stop eating rubbish / processed food / sugary crap.

I do know it is fucking difficult to stop eating crap, and start on a new regime. But think of it as eating anything you like so long as it's not processed crap, and start from there. No calorie counting, just anything that's not processed crap.

Have you tried intermittent fasting and/or the 5:2 diet?

Are you able to try Ozempic or Wegovy?

I work with a lady who this time last year weighed 20 stone + She had a gastric band op in March 2023 she has lost 5 stone ,mentally and physically she is doing really well.

If you are paying for takeaways then maybe you could spend that money on ready made low calorie foods. Ready meals aren't as good a choice as healthy home made food but they will be a lot better for you than take away food and you will be able to easily monitor your nutrition with them.

Also, what worked before when you lost weight?

This! Go for the easy wins and build up. Try to do a little walk each day - get earphones in and some music that gets you going. Doesn't have to be miles but just start getting into the habit and like OP said, try the swaps that you will barely notice at first..

I too was desperate too lose weight, because I had so many health issues, diebetes, sleep apnea, high blood pressure etc, I couldn't walk far, and was constantly out of breath. I'd been referred to tier 3 weight loss, but the wait in my area for weight loss surgery was 3-4 years if I was lucky. It was really impacting my mental health too, so I decided to go privately in the UK and have a mini gastric bypass. It was the best decision I've ever made and worth every penny, I've lost 5 stone and feel like a new person, it's done wonders for my mental health and I finally feel in control. I know it's not the answer for everyone, and it's an expensive and drastic measure, but I'm so glad I did it.

It is. Has been available for a couple of weeks.