should I go off work with stress?

[sliceofcarrotcake]

NC as don’t want anyone potentially to recognise me as know a couple of people who do look on here and I’m just feeling a bit paranoid.

I’ve not been happy at work for a while, but it’s got worse, without giving away what I do I’m finding the project I’m working on very mentally hard, with very difficult colleagues, things that should be simple have been made ridiculously complicated and lengthy. I have been feeding this constantly back to my manager so they’re well aware what is going on. They say it’s not my fault and im good at what I do, but I’m at my wits end and I feel physically sick. The idea of going into work tomorrow makes me feel ill, I’m doubting myself, I feel shakey.

im also struggling with the general attitude at my work, everyone is stressed and under a lot of pressure so people are not very nice, it’s just the environment and I don’t think I can take it anymore. I wish I could quit but I have children and we are struggling as it is so I feel stuck.

I’ve got a lot of stress outside work with cost of living and where we live, I’m just in tears a lot of the time and my confidence is at an all time low where it’s making me feel unconfident at work.

would it be bad if I went off with stress? I don’t know what to do.

Project work can be exceptionally stressful. How long is the project - is there a steering committee and a decent project plan with roles and responsibilities clearly defined?

You are doing the right things by flagging the issues and trying to escalate, but if you are feeling this bad I think you need to hit the nuclear button and request a formal meeting with management. Put your concerns factually in writing and share this list as a pre-read for the meeting.

It is not unreasonable to want this situation to change and to be looking for ways out. I can say, having worked in similarly toxic, inefficient workplaces, that it’s really important to very clearly state what you are feeling to your manager or perhaps to the project steering committee chair or PMO, if there is anything so formal at your workplace. State clearly the fact you feel stressed, the specific causes of stress, and ask explicitly for help and support to figure out ways to resolve/ mitigate/ improve the causes of stress.

Perhaps you need your manager to help deliver feedback to the people who are over complicating the project.

Or perhaps your manager is assuming you have more experience than you’ve got? Perhaps he’s assuming you have got all the competencies required to manage the relationships and issues and thinks you just need reassurance. So in this case you can clearly correct him and say you need more management support.

or perhaps you simply don’t have the authority to knock heads together and drive project actions forward. In this case your manager needs to clarify and escalate the situation.

You can ask for more regular check-ins to monitor how you are coping, and if management continue to offer platitudes and no constructive help, then I think that tells you everything you need to know, and you need to look for a new job.

Personally I would try to avoid taking stress leave, unless it’s unavoidable. You will have the work situation hanging over you and you won’t have the satisfaction and closure of resolving it for yourself.

I don't think going off work will solve anything , looking for a new job may

Definitely try to avoid stress leave. It's rarely the best way to deal with a toxic environment. Have an honest talk with your manager. Be assertive and confident and illustrate with examples. If things don't work out look for another job. Good luck!

How long would you go off for, as it’s likely to be worse on return, as you will be out of the loop. Better to find another job or ask to be moved.

going off sick will not help much and will probably make it harder to get another job. Plus GPs shouldn’t really just sign people off Willy nilly just because their current project is difficult and stressful

You probably need to look for another job and do the best you can in the meantime