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How to organise an informal wake? (Talks about death)

3 replies

rickyrickygrimes · 27/02/2024 20:29

One of my colleagues died recently, unexpectedly. She was very young (30) and we are all a bit devastated tbh. We (her colleagues) are mostly British / Irish / US / Austrlians but we all live outside the UK. Her actual funeral will be held back in her home country, so none of us can attend. We don't think there will be a formal memorial service here in the country we live in, so we'd like to organise something for the 25-ish of us that knew and loved and miss her.

Within our workplace, I often take on the role of organising events, get-togethers etc. I want to contribute here, but I'm not very sure what to do. I've never actually been to the funeral of a young person.

Do any of you have suggestions of how or what we should organise? I think we want something where we can talk / cry / grieve together, and also have a bit of food and drink. In the absence of any of her family members, how do we do the 'memorial' bit? all ideas gratefully received.

OP posts:
verrrysadd · 27/02/2024 20:40

Could you book a room with tv/projector equipment and create a photo slide show with music and create a memorial service for your group of friends? Whoever wishes to read something can do, share memories, have some food and drink? Perhaps look into planting a tree or having a bench with a memorial plaque on in their memory?

PieAndLattes · 27/02/2024 20:47

I am sorry for your loss. Is there a preferred bar or restaurant or other place where you all used to hang out? If so, can you ask them to cordon off a section or reserve a reception room for whatever time suits and send round an email saying something like, ‘Hi, we’d like to get everyone together to remember our friend and celebrate her life. If you would like to join us we’ll be in xxx place between 5pm and 8pm on xxx date’. Then everyone can buy what they want from the bar. About 6pm, someone could give a short eulogy and invite her friends to share a memory or funny story.

Changingplace · 27/02/2024 20:52

I think it’s very lovely of you to commemorate your colleague like this.

This may sound a bit unusual but often now funerals can be live streamed, it was done for someone I knew where they had lots of family & friends abroad who couldn’t travel.

If that was being done could you book a room with the AV capacity & support to stream the service on a screen, and then have some food & drinks?

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