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Original poster

No RSVPs

30 replies

Yorkiepud2614 · 27/02/2024 17:21

How long would you give it with absolutely no one replying to an RSVP for a 13 year olds birthday activity? Before you had to cancel the plans?

OP posts:
UltramarineViolet · 27/02/2024 17:24

I would expect a 13yo DC to speak to their friends and ask if they are coming or not, I would not expect a formal RSVP via a parent now they are teenagers

Original poster
Yorkiepud2614 · 27/02/2024 17:40

UltramarineViolet · 27/02/2024 17:24

I would expect a 13yo DC to speak to their friends and ask if they are coming or not, I would not expect a formal RSVP via a parent now they are teenagers

I was just doing what had been done with previous parties and made a WhatsApp group.

OP posts:
WYorkshireRose · 27/02/2024 17:42

Agree with PP, unusual to make party plans with other parents on behalf of 13yo DC. Have they actually spoken to their friends about the plans directly?

TheCrowFlies · 27/02/2024 17:55

If I was responsible in any way for the event; expending effort or money, then I would definitely be going through parents. IME teenage boys are terrible at organising themselves.
OP maybe contact parents individually rather than on the group chat and see what they say. Hope it works out,

craigth162 · 27/02/2024 17:59

Have a 14 yr old son - id def speak to parents cos ime their communication skills are dreadful

craigth162 · 27/02/2024 17:59

When is party and how long ago did u message?

Normandy144 · 27/02/2024 18:02

Are you saying you created a WhatsApp group and no one has even acknowledged the invite as that I would find very strange? Assuming that is the case I would contact everyone again, either through the WhatsApp group or directly and ask for RSVPs by a certain date and make it clear you need to know.

RampantIvy · 27/02/2024 18:06

I feel sad for your DC that no-one has replied. However, it is pretty unusual for parents to send out invitations at this age.

I didn't know that there were parents WhatsApp groups at secondary school.

Can your DC not ask their friends?

NerrSnerr · 27/02/2024 18:11

I'd ask your friends. I think if I got an invite via WhatsApp for a teenager I'd ask my child to tell their friend whether they were going (I'd probably acknowledge receiving it but say I'll ask Jimmy when he's home and get him to tell Ralph himself).

TinyYellow · 27/02/2024 18:14

Has your 13 year old spoken to friends about it?

Gophering · 27/02/2024 18:27

RampantIvy · 27/02/2024 18:06

I feel sad for your DC that no-one has replied. However, it is pretty unusual for parents to send out invitations at this age.

I didn't know that there were parents WhatsApp groups at secondary school.

Can your DC not ask their friends?

It doesn’t sound like an official “parents WhatsApp group” just a group the OP has set up for this party, the same as she says other parents have done recently. All my kids are older but we still sometimes discuss their plans on WhatsApp with other parents. It’s not that weird. Sometimes / a lot of the time they do just make their own plans but as a PP said if it’s an actual activity like bowling or cinema or whatever you need to know who is actually coming.

CloudySheep · 27/02/2024 19:01

UltramarineViolet · 27/02/2024 17:24

I would expect a 13yo DC to speak to their friends and ask if they are coming or not, I would not expect a formal RSVP via a parent now they are teenagers

I had a friend who did this years ago. Around 15 people out of the 60 invited to her party actually showed up. She'd been checking RSVPs in the lead up but there were a lot of no shows

Dotdashdottinghell · 27/02/2024 19:12

Is there just complete radio silence on the WhatsApp group? Did you give an RSVP date?

Original poster
Yorkiepud2614 · 27/02/2024 21:22

Typically they all replied at exactly the same time, it’s like they were conferring…
I did have DD ask her friends before time but they are all so vague and unreliable, it was for a sleepover so needed to know.

OP posts:
justasmalltownmum · 27/02/2024 21:25

I would just send another message saying you need anyone who hasn't confirmed to confirm by xyz time.

idontlikealdi · 27/02/2024 21:32

@CloudySheep 60 for a birthday party?

Dts are 12, y8, they pretty much sort it out themselves and cross reference with me.

NewName24 · 27/02/2024 21:46

Yorkiepud2614 · 27/02/2024 17:40

I was just doing what had been done with previous parties and made a WhatsApp group.

Show quote history

I'm confused.
Who did you put in this WhatsApp group ?
12/13 yr olds, or parents of the 12/13 yr olds ?

I mean, either way that sounds weird to me, but, how would you know the numbers of the parents of the friends or your 13 yr old dc to even do this ? Or, come to that, all the dcs' numbers ?

RampantIvy · 27/02/2024 21:53

Yorkiepud2614 · 27/02/2024 21:22

Typically they all replied at exactly the same time, it’s like they were conferring…
I did have DD ask her friends before time but they are all so vague and unreliable, it was for a sleepover so needed to know.

What was the outcome?
I hope they can come. 13 year old girls can be so flakey.

Original poster
Yorkiepud2614 · 27/02/2024 21:59

NewName24 · 27/02/2024 21:46

I'm confused.
Who did you put in this WhatsApp group ?
12/13 yr olds, or parents of the 12/13 yr olds ?

I mean, either way that sounds weird to me, but, how would you know the numbers of the parents of the friends or your 13 yr old dc to even do this ? Or, come to that, all the dcs' numbers ?

Show quote history

Er… the parents. Because they have all been friends since they were 5, when we most certainly would need to contact their parents for play dates and parties.
im extremely bemused that having the phone numbers of your children’s friends parents is considered unusual.

OP posts:
Original poster
Yorkiepud2614 · 27/02/2024 22:00

RampantIvy · 27/02/2024 21:53

What was the outcome?
I hope they can come. 13 year old girls can be so flakey.

Show quote history

4 out of the 5 replied so happy with that.

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 27/02/2024 22:13

@Yorkiepud2614 it's not having the numbers of the parents that's strange- it's that the 13 year old isn't asking their friends themselves. There comes a point when kids arrange their own social life.

NewName24 · 27/02/2024 22:21

im extremely bemused that having the phone numbers of your children’s friends parents is considered unusual.

Well, it is pretty usual for a lot (most?) dc to have new, different friends at 13 from those they were friends with at 5.

Calliopespa · 28/02/2024 08:27

NerrSnerr · 27/02/2024 22:13

@Yorkiepud2614 it's not having the numbers of the parents that's strange- it's that the 13 year old isn't asking their friends themselves. There comes a point when kids arrange their own social life.

If I was having to host it I’d want to be involved. It’s normal for the host to issue it. Even wedding invitations are traditionally, and often still, sent by the parents.

mitogoshi · 28/02/2024 08:33

For a 13 year old I wouldn't expect anything from the parents unless you need signed consent forms.

LittleMonks11 · 28/02/2024 08:34

Hope your DD has a great sleepover for her birthday. Glad they replied in the end!

I wouldn't leave a birthday sleepover for tween girls to arrange themselves and would definitely go through the parents. Bobbing into town for a mooch yes - birthday sleepover, no.