Tell us something awful you did as a kid.

[Friedchickenrocks]

Aged about 8 our grandad was staying with us and I hid his glasses. Nobody thought it was me but he knew. He was literally almost blind for a week and even went poking with his walking stick down the loo. "I know it's her. I just know it, little bitch" Eventually they magically re-appeared on the sideboard. I never did own up and my mum never thought it could possibly be her blue eyed girl.

Think this is my favourite ever thread.

I put my pet hamster on my record player/turntable once cos l thought it might enjoy a ride. 🙈🙈

For the most part I was always too scared to do anything “naughty” I was always the scape goat so did my best to be a good child. The worse and I still feel quite bad about, actually 2 things, one I just remembered. The first was accidentally stealing a Milky Way from the local sweet shop when I was in the first year of high school. I was too busy chatting I hadn’t realised I’d not paid for it until I was at school.

The second which I thought I was going to go to hell for, was I found photos at my Nans house, at first I wasn’t sure who the groom in the photo was, my dad had 6 brothers who lived past infancy, they all looked alike. Anyway I saw some beautiful wedding photos, assuming it was one of my DFs older brothers, my Nan told me no it was my DF and his first wife. I stole one of the photos. I particularly ran a marathon away from anywhere to take a sneak peak at his wife. It was then I started to secretly hope she’d been my mum. I remember screwing the picture up and putting it in a bin, almost 40 years later I could pin point the exact bin. I knew it was far to dangerous to take the photo home or let my mother know I’d seen it. It’s always been my secret I’d seen the photos. I’ve since found out my mother thinks all evidence of my DFs first marriage was obliterated out of respect for her the moment he met her. Thankfully not and I’ve seen many pictures since of my DFs first wedding, his wife was stunning.

@Pastamasta

Oooh I was definitely a kid that child locks were made for too!

I'm late 30s and still want to do this to my lot

Aged 10, pulled the chair out from a girl I was sitting next to as she stood up for a laugh. When she went to sit down (no chair there now), she smacked her face on the table and knocked her two front teeth out. I don’t even remember getting into trouble for it though!

I removed all the white flowers from a non stingey stinging nettle, and boasted to my friend that stinging nettles didn't sting me.
She wanted to try; I picked a 'real' one for her.

Just been given a new back of colouring pens for my birthday, mum left me to be watched by my dad for the afternoon. I could only have been 5ish. Dad proceeded to not watch me at all and my mum came back to my dad having not given me tea or anything, and their brand new light wood cabinet now multicoloured with my new pens - very neatly, no gaps! The fact this was in the same room as my dad and he hadn't noticed clued her in to how little attention he paid and he got in trouble instead 😅

@XenoBitch you make me feel better about myself 😂 I used to collect ladybirds and keep them in a massive storage container with air holes... I have them natural foliage etc... not so bad you might think. Oh but what happens when I want to take the lid off ? What if they all fly away? Well I had an answer. I would clip their underwings with nail clippers so they couldn't escape me. If I accidentally pulled a wing off.. I would glue it back on with nail glue. I eventually set them all free.. but with no working wings I don't know how long they'd have actually survived 😵‍💫

Fucking hell 😂

I thought keeping ants in tic tac boxes was bad 😂 I was too stupid to work out why they kept dying. No air holes.

Blimey, that must have been fiddly to do!

I also used to tie thread to crane flies and have them as some sort of weird living kite.

Really???

So if your elderly grandparents were stuck in a lift for some hours, and you knew that someone had seen them and could have got them out sooner, you'd think it's funny??

Wow

I also used to tie thread to crane flies and have them as some sort of weird living kite

The effort put into this 😂

Some of these are horrendous! My parents thought it was bad when I forged my dad’s signature in my school planner!

Oof I remember being a kid and getting random impulses to do stuff! I still do actually but now I just do silly things, like tap stamp all the toilet rolls at work, or mix things up in the stationery cupboard. So no one actually gets inconvenienced, just a little confused. I never tell anyone it’s me.

But I remember as a kid I was terrible for nicking things, luckily it was usually silly little things so not huge consequences but once we got home from visiting an elderly relative across the country my mum discovered I’d stolen the relative’s wedding and engagement rings 🫣 she was widowed as well. My mum had to phone her and be very apologetic and post them back. I never got in trouble for that, I think my mum must have realised it was just a really mad impulse. I also stole a neighbour’s toy when I went round to play, shoved it up my top and ran across the road but turned out it made a barking noise when you shook it so I was barking my way across the road! The dad saw it all but he just let it happen and then came round in the evening to quietly ask my mum for it back 😅
happily I grew out of my thieving tendencies once I got to about 12.

Actually just remembered another one as well, which funnily enough I was talking about just the other day - we used to do a big weekly shop at the local Safeway, I’d always need a loo break and they had doors with quite big gaps so after I’d finished I’d crawl under the door (which I don’t like to dwell on now 🤢) and go on my merry way - found it hilarious even tho I never actually saw the result. Only stopped when I was 11 because I started to gain weight from puberty and had an awful moment where I got stuck halfway for a moment, was too scared to do it again after that.

Oh no 😳🤣

I was a Machiavellian little bitch. I hated other children as a child because they were so (to me) boring and stupid and I wanted to be left alone to read my book, so whenever "playtime" was insisted upon, I'd be awful, but everyone thought I was so calm and solemn and clever that I couldn't possibly be the troublemaker.

1. Was forced to have my mother's friend's daughter in my room to "play". I hated having anyone in my room. I tore bits off the frieze and said she'd done it, and cut the straps of her dungarees then told her mother she'd done both things herself. They believed me.
2. The woman who came to our house to cut my mother's hair once brought her two children with her. They messed up my meticulously organised toys so when they went outside into the garden, I locked the door and they were outside shouting for about an hour while my mother was getting her hair cut. I tidied the toys back up and ignored them.
3. Was tasked with "looking after" a poor boy in my class who clearly had special needs. We were supposed to unpin things from a board in the classroom. I dropped the drawing pins all over the carpet because I couldn't be bothered to put them back in the box; he sat down on them and started to cry. I told the teacher he must have been the one who'd dropped them there.
4. There was a girl at nursery school with me (we were three) who had the same name as me, which I resented. She thought it made us friends; I thought she was thick and annoying so I scribbled all over her name tag thing that hung on the peg for her coat, and then told the teacher she'd done it herself because she didn't understand tracing (they often made us trace our names as a task)

...starting to wonder if I was a genuine psychopath now

Stole my brothers pet mouse and kept it in my desk as my pey for a day or 2 while he cried, thinking it had escaped 🤣

Stole a friends schoolbag for some reason and took it home inside my bag. Thought it would be funny, everyone was searching the coat/bag area for ages 🤦‍♀️ I returned it a few days later. I must have been about 6

And as a teen I put a handful of button mushrooms into a co worker's coat pocket for some bizarre reason. They were annoying and wanted to mess with their head I guess 😂

🤣🤣 that's so fucked up

When I was about 9 I attended a church service and helped myself to a stack of raffle tickets thinking they were free. Having torn off my strips and handed in the stubs i attended the post concert tea and cake session at the church hall. They began calling the raffle and I won about 9 prizes. I gave them all away as I feared karma!

Set my mums bedroom on fire when I was about 11.

It started with sneaking in and finding her ashtray of cigarette butts and lighting them up for a puff. Followed by burning random bits of paper.

Next thing I know I’m watching her bed go up in flames 😅🥴 followed by watching her and my nan legging it back and forth to the bathroom to put it out.

I think this is an excellent way to deal with annoying people. 😂

My friend and I would go to the bathroom and put cling film between the toilet bowl and the toilet seat

Tried to escape from the balcony with my cousins tying bedsheets together like in cartoons

Locked a cleaning lady in my room and walked away while she was frantically banging on the door (I still feel bad about this, I was a little shit)

In middle school, a couple of friends of mine and myself created a fake Facebook account pretending to be out science teacher. We gave tons of homeworks to the kids in my class and pretended we caught a few of them cheating just to watch them freak out (some of them confessed too)

😂😂 Tim Burton would love this