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Original poster

Tell us something awful you did as a kid.

726 replies

Friedchickenrocks · 26/02/2024 20:59

Aged about 8 our grandad was staying with us and I hid his glasses. Nobody thought it was me but he knew. He was literally almost blind for a week and even went poking with his walking stick down the loo. "I know it's her. I just know it, little bitch" Eventually they magically re-appeared on the sideboard. I never did own up and my mum never thought it could possibly be her blue eyed girl.

OP posts:
Pigwig10 · 28/02/2024 20:21

WhimsicalMoth · 26/02/2024 21:40

@Hungrycaterpillarsmummy it was a bit of both. They did go splat .... but I remember slowly squeezing what looked like a long string out of them 😕

Omfg 😂😂😂. This thread is really cheering up my usually boring stint sat in the car waiting for youngest DC to do his football training 😁

Carpediemmakeitcount · 28/02/2024 20:22

Friedchickenrocks · 26/02/2024 21:50

I don't know. Was scared then I suppose with the longer it went on.

Show quote history

Did you hear him call you a little bitch 😂

Carpediemmakeitcount · 28/02/2024 20:23

When I was a child I used to take my brother's sweets when I was finished with mine. His always taste better than mine of course 😜

ThistleTits · 28/02/2024 20:25

LunaNorth · 26/02/2024 21:44

Kicked my dad full in the knackers to see what would happen.

I’d seen it done on telly, and wondered if the dramatic reaction was true to life.

It was 😳

Omg 🤣🤣🤣

Holycows · 28/02/2024 20:31

thecrispfiend · 26/02/2024 21:23

My parents were friends with a family where the parents and kids were visually impaired. They were minding my sister and I for the day and were taking us out for pizza but it had been a long time since lunch (we were used to more snacks at home i think ) anyway it was December and one of the kids had an advent calendar with sweets in on his bedroom wall. I whispered to my sister to take one as he couldn't see us (God forgive me! ) anyway it escalated and somehow between us we ended up snaffling the lot..

Of course several days later my parents received a phone call, my mum was absolutely mortified and we were made to give our pocket money to him to replace the advent calendar and to apologise!

Little fuckers 😂

Overnightoats1 · 28/02/2024 20:36

We lived on a farm and my grandfather was a very keen gardener.. it was mid summer and his flower beds were in full bloom.. my sister and I were about 7 and thought we'd try out his ride -on lawn mower that was left in the garden when he went in for lunch (that we had rightly been told we weren't allowed anywhere near). I took the steering wheel and she took the pedals and we zoomed right through the middle of one of his prized beds chopping down a huge chunk of his lovely flowers .. after we had managed to get it to stop ... we hid in a tree as we knew how much trouble we'd be in... I still remember the telling off by our father and grandfather ... looking back - it was SO dangerous- two small girls on a giant lawnmower 😳

ToHellBackAndBeyond · 28/02/2024 20:37

Gilles27 · 27/02/2024 14:35

We used to walk along some train tracks on the way to school as it was a short-cut. The track went over a road and we'd use that bridge. One snowy day we made a huge snowball. We got the the bridge and heaved it over the wall onto the road below. Heard a scream and looked over to see a pile of snow with a child's legs sticking out and the mother looking around trying to work out who threw such a huge snowball. I remember watching the local news for the next few days as I was worried we'd killed someone.

That proper made me laugh out loud. My children think I've finally lost the plot 😁😁 thank you for the laugh.

LeSoleil · 28/02/2024 20:44

We used to wait under cover for alien spaceships to land in the farmer's field on the edge of the village. When the aliens emerged blinking from their craft, we would extend out our tiny hands of friendship in the hope that our young unblemished souls and innocent wide-eyed pure faces would radiate the confidence to trust in us, and hopefully too humankind.

When they said "Take me to your leader" we would point down the field below to the entrance of the Sandley rail tunnel, knowing that the 17:45 from Tisbury to Sherbourne had already entered the tunnel at the other end at a thunderous unstoppable speed.

When we new they were toast, we would strip their craft of ray guns, precious metals and suits made of silver which we later sold to Abba.

Daydreamer123 · 28/02/2024 21:12

When I was about 6 our neighbour knocked on the door to tell my mum I was sat on the upstairs window sill, completely on the outside of the window, legs dangling off the ledge😅.
I was generally a well behaved child, but I clearly had my moments!

Bbq1 · 28/02/2024 21:43

Beginning to think a large number of these are being made up now.

GeogGeek · 28/02/2024 22:06

When I was about 9 or 10, my friend and I were sick of a girl who was constantly bossing us about and was pretty mean. I had got a kids chemistry set for my birthday, and some of them had a little warning sticker on them. I got up early one morning to mix a few together, and poured the contents of the test tube over a lolly - which we gave to her later in the day! Thank goodness she was absolutely fine.

Ponytailtugger · 28/02/2024 22:10

I had a bit of violent temper as a (primary age) child. My older sister got the worst of it (she was a bit of a wind up merchant). I caused a few nose bleeds, among other things. I remember one particular time being as a result of a brownie belt to the face (not proud).

Thankfully I had mainly learnt to control my temper by around year 5 or 6, apart from this one particular time. I was in a very disfunctional friendship group with two girl (I'll call them Gemma and Laura). Gemma wasn't a very nice child and would regularly decide she was no longer friends with either myself or Laura and would get really nasty. Myself and Laura would always side with Gemma (no idea why, probably just glad we weren't the one at the recieving end). Anyway, Gemma was on form and was being particularly nasty to me and Laura joined in. They then both walked off side by side with both their ponytails swishing. I couldn't resist. I ran up behind them, grabbed a ponytail in each hand a yanked down hard and fast. I then barged between them. I ran to where my class had started queuing up for end at break. At that point the adrenaline rush had subsided and I just started sobbing. The most popular girl in our class sat on my table and I was friendly with her. She came to see if I was ok. All I could get out was that Gemma and Laura were being unkind. Then a group formed around me comforting me. By the time Gemma and Laura got back the narrative was how unkind they had been to me (not entirely untrue). The teacher came out and they were in trouble. I would like to say that was the end of the friendship, unfortunately we all made up and the cycle started again. Thankfully we all went out separate ways when we started secondary school. I also learnt to control my temper.

There are many times when I lost my temper at primary age I am not proud of. I must admit the thought of pulling those ponytails still fills me with a sense of satisfaction 🙈.

Bbq1 · 28/02/2024 22:12

Beginning to think a large number of these are being made up now...

UnctuousUnicorns · 28/02/2024 22:14

girljulian · 26/02/2024 22:42

I was a Machiavellian little bitch. I hated other children as a child because they were so (to me) boring and stupid and I wanted to be left alone to read my book, so whenever "playtime" was insisted upon, I'd be awful, but everyone thought I was so calm and solemn and clever that I couldn't possibly be the troublemaker.

  1. Was forced to have my mother's friend's daughter in my room to "play". I hated having anyone in my room. I tore bits off the frieze and said she'd done it, and cut the straps of her dungarees then told her mother she'd done both things herself. They believed me.
  2. The woman who came to our house to cut my mother's hair once brought her two children with her. They messed up my meticulously organised toys so when they went outside into the garden, I locked the door and they were outside shouting for about an hour while my mother was getting her hair cut. I tidied the toys back up and ignored them.
  3. Was tasked with "looking after" a poor boy in my class who clearly had special needs. We were supposed to unpin things from a board in the classroom. I dropped the drawing pins all over the carpet because I couldn't be bothered to put them back in the box; he sat down on them and started to cry. I told the teacher he must have been the one who'd dropped them there.
  4. There was a girl at nursery school with me (we were three) who had the same name as me, which I resented. She thought it made us friends; I thought she was thick and annoying so I scribbled all over her name tag thing that hung on the peg for her coat, and then told the teacher she'd done it herself because she didn't understand tracing (they often made us trace our names as a task)

...starting to wonder if I was a genuine psychopath now

You'd do Saki proud. 😅

GoodHeavens99 · 28/02/2024 22:17

pickytube · 26/02/2024 23:00

I hid my dads car keys in the aquarium

That just made me think of the old AA advert from the 80s.

In the sand!

petridishmystery · 28/02/2024 22:46

sashh · 28/02/2024 02:01

When I was 5 I washed the hair of the 5 year old nextdoor neighbour. But we couldn't reach the sink so I had him put his head down the toilet while I flushed it.

Around about the same time I was visiting my grandparents and decided to do a strip tease for my grandfather complete with, "de da, de da, de da da daaaa".

Where the hell I learned that I have no idea.

Omg, me and my sister once decided to do a little dance for our grandparents that ended in us pulling our pants down. Think we must have been about 4 and 6? No idea what possessed us but I remember dad was FURIOUS and took us straight home altho seem to recall my grandparents found it very funny. I’d forgotten about that. I don’t know why we thought it was a good idea but I do remember us sitting and planning it before going and announcing we had a dance to perform. So glad we weren’t the only ones…

CherryRipe1 · 28/02/2024 23:26

Me and my friend had a 'frenemy' called Jane with enormous knockers. We were 11 and looked about 7 and she to us looked like a grown up woman & all the boys liked her so we were jealous. We made a voodoo wax dolly of her and stuck pins in the head and boobs then got scared and threw it in the water butt. She had to return from her camping trip due to horrendous migraines and getting flooded out of her tent. We were mortified. Evil little witches.

Clarebelle878 · 28/02/2024 23:51

StarlightLime · 26/02/2024 21:32

Jesus, some of these...

I agree. It’s all a bit Lord of the Flies.

mandlerparr · 29/02/2024 01:05

If that was his normal way of talking to and about you, I would have done more than hide his glasses. He would have had to find them in the landfill.

5YearsLeft · 29/02/2024 01:40

ChronicOnVodkaAndTonic · 27/02/2024 19:12

People need to take into consideration that children don't have fully developed adult brains. Young children, between the ages of 3 and 12 are very 'reward' driven because their nucleus accumbens (dopamine rich) is very active. This is the 'buzz' part of the brain. It typically is triggered during learning based rewards (for example: merits at school for hard work, therefore the child feels motivated to go on and earn more) however, being dopamine rich, the nucleus accumbens can also play a role in childhood behaviour; I.E, doing something deemed by an adult as naughty or bad, creates a buzz which the child finds thrilling. (Anyone ever been told no and done it anyway for the rush?)

Very young children 2-6 (ish) will have no concept that their actions are causing harm.

Beyond 12 to the age of 22-23 the Amygdala is the most triggered part of a young person/ teenagers brain. The Amygdala is purely emotional. It has no to very little rationality therefore logic and common sense often go out the window (which explains why teenagers and young adults are willing to take bigger risks and why emotional fallout are common in the teen years) It also means that from between these ages children and young people are more prone to stupid decisions and have an underdeveloped ability to reason or rationalise, which leads to intense emotional outbursts.

From 25 onwards our brains now think using the prefrontal cortex. The rational part of our brain. Where we process logic, understanding of consequences and reasoning. As adults we can read through this thread and see how shocking our childhood behaviour can be because we have the ability to shift point of view and rationalise. As a child, that ability simply isn't there because the brain isn't developed enough.

So that absolves anyone on this thread who was about 6 or younger, and some of the six-year-old things are still a bit questionable. But you’re exactly right; after six, even if not completely emotionally developed, you understand the concept of causing harm to others. That’s all there is to it, really. The age of criminal responsibility is 10 (in the UK, except Scotland) so I’m not sure I buy that all these people doing shitty things from 10 and up didn’t know they were being vile. The fact they’re still laughing at OTHER vile posts (and I’m not talking about the posts about four year olds doing things or six year olds ignoring their parents - four really is too young and ignoring your parents is not on the same level as some of these horrifying ones) leads me to believe that even now, these are people who generally laugh hysterically at videos where other people get hurt. Har har yes, NOTHING funnier than a teenage boy trying some stunt he’s seen and accidentally hitting himself in the bollocks so hard that he vomits and passes out. Oh. What. A. Laugh.

And so many saying, “Oh, it’s ridiculous how many people are complaining about a thread that says it’s about awful things being full of awful things.” Well, originally, I opened the thread expecting to see a lot of things from about ages 5 or 6, at a push 7. The fact that there are so many above that age, kids who chose to harm when they knew what harming was - no, I didn’t expect it.

No, what’s concerning as fuck is how many people take “being a kid” to mean that being a horrible human being over either the age of criminal responsibility or over age 12 (which is the age of criminal responsibility in Scotland) was acceptable (don’t even get me started on the 15 or 16 year old who lied and got another girl who already had troubles excluded from school - who knows where that excluded girl’s life went next, and I hope she’s okay and safe somewhere).

Even according to these developmental theories, there’s no excuse for this stuff. Emotional outbursts? Yes. Lack of empathy and harming others? No. That’s a diagnosable issue by age 12.

Champers66 · 29/02/2024 05:48

When I was very young, about 8 or 9, I was challenged by school to ‘fund raise’ I went around my local neighbours and family to collect £1 each for WWF with a sponsor form. It sat in my house for ages and for whatever reason I ended up using the £7 or £8 for sweeties.. I told my mum i had given the money to my teacher but I hadn’t. It ate me up with guilt for years and every time I seen a WWF advert I felt sick. So as a working adult I donated a substantial amount to the charity. Still feel guilty though and my mum still doesn’t know lol. I was expecting the police for months but was too scared to ask my mum to give me the money- the teacher wasn’t impressed either.

sundaydayisnotmyfundayday · 29/02/2024 07:27

When I was 10 my hamster developed a big lump on her side. I begged my dad to take her to a vet but he refused. This went on for a couple of months.

One day she was making an awful noise. Clearly in pain. I asked my dad again and again he said no.

I put my hamster in an old jar in water to end her life because I couldn't stand to see her suffer any longer.

I think about it often 😔

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 29/02/2024 08:01

sundaydayisnotmyfundayday · 29/02/2024 07:27

When I was 10 my hamster developed a big lump on her side. I begged my dad to take her to a vet but he refused. This went on for a couple of months.

One day she was making an awful noise. Clearly in pain. I asked my dad again and again he said no.

I put my hamster in an old jar in water to end her life because I couldn't stand to see her suffer any longer.

I think about it often 😔

I don't think this is awful. You did your best to end her suffering. In a jaw if water - won't have taken long and you did end your hamsters suffering. 💐 The blame lies with your dad.

weller34 · 29/02/2024 08:39

🤣🤣🤣

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