Described as a lovely lady

[Soreteatowel]

🤣 I've no idea why. I spent yesterday with some club mates, including a relatively new member. After the day he text both me and a friend to say thank you, described us as "quality" (guess what part of the world we're from 🤣) but in the one to my (male) friend he was gushy about what a "lovely lady" I am.

Now, it's not my favourite term, but I'll forgive him, as it's a symptom of his background, but my goodness it made me feel old. He's a man in his late 30s who I suspect sees me as the same generation as his mum!

I don't think I'm particularly lovely. I can be grumpy and probably say what I'm thinking too often. What would you see in someone to describe them as lovely, or is it just a generic thing to says as thanks?

I HATE the word 'Lady'.
Estate agent speke.

I'd assume it was someone not that bright who didn't grasp the distinction between 'lady' and woman', and who is never likely to refer to a man in his 50s as a 'lovely gentleman'.

Then, again, anyone who would refer to me as a 'lovely lady' would be mistaking me for someone else. I'm more 'sharp-tongued virago' in my personal mode.

Aha, I have an estate agent round later. I'll keep my bingo card out for what terminology he uses.

I thought exactly this! I've been described as a lovely lady in the replies to my referral 😂

😁

Medics are actively discouraged to use these terms these days. Subjective and unnecessary.
More likely to be used by older 'Old School' types.

That's interesting - I was actually sort of miffed, I can't put my finger on why. And it was a female consultant...

I'm not offended

He's very bright, but not educated and he absolutely would describe a man as a "proper gentleman" or gent.

Yuck! Patronising and possibly a bit sexist too. I wouldn't like it, but I'm a grumpy old bag, so it's unlikely to happen 😂

@BeaRF75 how is it sexist ?
The op is a lady. Using the word doesn't make anyone sexist.
Nor do I see how it is patronising. It is complimentary.
It is sad that you can't see that.

I'd assume it was someone not that bright who didn't grasp the distinction between 'lady' and woman', and who is never likely to refer to a man in his 50s as a 'lovely gentleman'.

Bit of a weird assumption.
Not in a boastful way, but in an objective, factual way, I would be considered both intelligent and well educated, but I would "refer to a man in his 50s as a 'lovely gentleman' " because it is a good description of some people.

A GP at work sent us receptionists a message addressing us as "girlies." It was work-related not social. She's probably mid 30s, and most of us are in our 50s, with a couple younger.
I was 🤔

The OP is a woman.

'Lady' refers to certain gendered attributes some people attribute to adult female people.

They are not the same thing. Anyone of average intelligence should be able to grasp this.

Also, I wasn't asking whether you would refer to someone as a 'lovely gentleman'. I'm saying that it would be a highly unlikely thing for a man in his late 30s to say about a newly-encountered 50something male member of his club.

It is though. That's exactly how he'd describe an older man he thought was a good sort.

A thirtysomething man might say it about a man in his seventies or older, sure, if he was being patronising.

About a man who is a scant decade older than him, and who he considers an equal, or who might have more social/cultural/economic capital? I don't think so.

I think you're wrong, people round here, especially working class ones, would say "he's a proper gentleman" about their peers

Yep lovely lady would make me feel old as well. I’ve been called lovely before but that with lady would be a bridge too far for me

Try and enjoy the compliment. I caught a customer looking at me at work a few weeks ago, she apologised and said she'd just seen me, noticed I looked really attractive and had turn back to double check. Nothing in it, but she wanted me to know.

This reminds me of a window cleaner once telling me repeatedly for what felt like an hour or so that the woman I’d just bought my house from was a lovely, lovely lady. The main thing I knew about her was that the estate agent had told me she was “literally on the floor screamed hysterically” because the sale wasn’t going through as quickly as she wanted. Which was because our solicitor was insisting that the vendor’s solemn promise that improvements had been done properly in the absence of building regs sign off wasn’t good enough. Not sure what that tells you about lovely ladies.

Yes!! I remember security at a US airport calling me Ma'am rather than Miss, having not visited for a few years and feeling old suddenly in that instant 😂

That could have been absolute bullshit from the EA though.

I was told that the seller of this house was so pushed for cash that she was about to halt the sale and rent out the house. My solicitor was looking for some clarity about the boundary. Eventually I let it slide as I thought, I want to live in this house, maybe forever, and prices are going up and she is within her rights to pull out.

So, roll forward a few years and I met her through an acquaintance, she knew instantly who I was and vv. We got chatting. She was fine for cash as she'd moved in with her partner and she was still working, he was working, all good. She was shocked he'd implied that she was desperate for cash and about to pull out to rent the house out urgently.

Sorry, but that might be an indication that he’s spent time in prison!

Why? Not that I would hold that against him anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️