Party rules

[Underestimated4]

I was wondering what everyone else felt was ‘rules’ for parties.

I.e - children’s siblings?

Im throwing a party for my child, I’ve had guests asks if siblings can come along. Whereas I am inclined to say yes as it’s not a pay per head party, I am also inclined to say that they won’t be catered for food/party is this fair?

Others disagree. Problem is this is a joint party with 2 other families and we all have different ideas on how we would do things. Ones saying siblings are a yes and cater for them. I’m saying only in desperate situations and not pay for their food/ etc. The other person is very quiet on the subject.

Im now feeling put out as parents have been told by the others to bring their children and their siblings now been added to the final number for party bags etc, once you say yes you can’t exactly go back on it and say no.

Am I just being tight and greedy. For me it’s principle it shouldn’t be expected and the others shouldn’t agree without consulting me.

I only ask if siblings can come and sit at the side and read a book/watch a tablet. I wouldn’t expect them to be included the party. If it was offered I and the child would be extremely grateful.

Depends on the type of party for me.

So, a soft play I would say it's fine for siblings to come but parents need to pay them in and buy them food separate to the invited children who will eat party food.

A hall type party then I don't see the issue in paying for them since I can't imagine it being much more financially. Though I suppose it depends on the number of siblings.

So tricky when you have a joint party because everyone has their own way of doing things.

I think you need to have a coffee with the other mums and work it out swiftly. Siblings really shouldn't be attending unless they are explicitly invited or if the parent is really stuck for childcare etc.

They siblings don't a party bag, just give them a small packet of haribo?

Good luck!

I think this depends on the type of party and what’s the norm at your school. I’ve never been to a church hall type party where siblings haven’t been invited. If it’s tight on space, there’s an age restriction excluding younger ones or it’s a per head thing then they’re generally not.

In your case though doing a joint party between 3 must be saving a bomb and it’s not a pay per head thing so I really couldn’t get sniffy about a few extra sandwiches and party bags if the others are ok with it (and it sounds like they are).

My experience is I always over cater anyway, party bags don't cost much (especially if splitting 3 ways), the more the merrier to a village hall party.
But perhaps if this is an issue for you then don't do a joint party again, that way you can control the narrative.

As others said, depends on the type of party.

Village Hall type then definitely invite siblings (and expect others), it's no skin off your nose as there's always tons of leftover food and they don't need party bags

Soft play type then fine too but parents pay for additional siblings themselves and there have to be enough adults to watch siblings when lunch is served to the party if that's in a separate room.

Other paid activity then trickier, if you have to book in advance and numbers are limited then definitely no siblings

Also bare in mind that you will sadly probably get quite a few no-shows and there will be party bags sitting going to waste.

I very rarely take my other children to parties but last month my OH was offered work last minute, we couldn’t afford to turn it down and I text the mum asking if it was ok to bring a sibling, I said I’d take absolutely no offence if he said no, but if she did I’d need to leave the invited child there without an adult. She said the more the merrier.

She invited all the kids from her child’s class and less than half turned up. She had food and party bags left over even with a few other parents bringing siblings.