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Original poster

Ice skating accident

23 replies

Tearingup · 26/02/2024 07:02

I took my children ice staking for the first time. My youngest fell many times. On his last fall he some how managed to get quite far and into the middle of the ice, I went over to pick him up but didn't manage to stop in time and sliced his ring finger badly. He had to have an operation and a wire in it. I'm not sure how much movement he will regain but hopefully it should look normal over time. I feel like the worst mother ever, I can't stop crying or re running things in my head. I'm trying to be there for him (who is in great form) but I'm just a mess. I hurt my baby forever in a few seconds. I don't think I'll be able to forgive myself

OP posts:

Hoglet70 · 26/02/2024 07:06

It was an accident! Nothing I say is going to stop you feeling awful though. Will send hugs instead x

BristolBorn · 26/02/2024 07:13

Oh lovely. It was a terrible accident, I can only imagine how bad you feel but blaming yourself isn’t going to help. Hopefully microsurgery will be successful and, in time, he will regain full use. Years from now it will be a story he tells his friends for laughs, honestly! Don’t beat yourself up too much.
Wishing him a speedy recovery.

INeedNewShoes · 26/02/2024 07:20

It was an accident. Unfortunately accidents just happen sometimes and there are far far worse things that could have happened.

The most important thing now is that you don’t let this knock your confidence for doing slightly risky things and right now you need to pick yourself up and stop beating yourself up so that you can carry on being the great parent that I suspect you are.

Speak to your GP surgery about organising some talking therapy or if you can afford to pay for it, get onto doing that. The main issue here isn’t your DC’s finger but more that you don’t want this incident to derail your mental health.

Toomuchgoingon79 · 26/02/2024 07:36

Honestly it seems like the worst thing ever right now, but he's in good spirits that's the main thing!

GoodOldEmmaNess · 26/02/2024 07:38

You poor soul.
The poster above is right that nothing we say will succeed in making you feel better, but time will succeed. You will feel a little bit better next week and next month and so on. And hopefully you will eventually be able to acknowledge that you were doing all the right things. Giving your kids a lovely childhood inevitably involves risks and sometimes they get hurt. It wasn't your fault.

You will be churning the worst case scenarios in your head at the moment, but it sounds like you are already helping your child to be resilient in the face of the accident and that his life will carry on as happily as before, even if he does have some deficit in one finger. xxxxx

SignoraVolpe · 26/02/2024 07:48

It was an accident op. Your ds will not think much about it in the future.
He’ll be the cool kid with the bionic finger.
Be kind to yourself.

In future the golden rule is if you fall on the ice curl your hands up.

tinytemper66 · 26/02/2024 08:23

I broke my leg ice skating on a school trip with over 50 kids. Not My finest moment.

stealtheatingtunnocks · 26/02/2024 08:27

I broke my eldest’s finger by slamming the car door on it, gave the middle one a concussion when horsing around and dropped the youngest into a scratchy hedge when I tripped. Accidents happen. Try to frame it as an accident, could have been worse and you’re doing your best.

Original poster

Tearingup · 26/02/2024 08:29

Thank you for your messages. It has made me feel a bit better. I'm not sure also if I should tell friends/family the truth or say someone else did it. I don't like to lie, but I also don't want anybody to try and make me feel worse than i already do if that's possible

OP posts:

stealtheatingtunnocks · 26/02/2024 08:31

dont overthink, it’s explanation enough to say “hurt finger from ice skating”. If they ask “can’t remeber the details, it all happened so fast”

IDidntWearASmileToday · 26/02/2024 08:32

My mum has reversed into me on two separate occasions by accident, PP is right, it's a funny story I tell now!
You were trying to help him, it was just an accident

Seeline · 26/02/2024 08:41

I wouldn't go into details unless you really need to. But you have to tell the truth because you can be certain that your DS will!

It was an accident but your DS will remind you of the event for years to come - kids love reminding their parents of things that have gone wrong.

GoodOldEmmaNess · 26/02/2024 08:46

I don't think you should say anything untruthful TearingUp. But I also don't think you owe anyone any information, especially if they are someone you can't trust to be reasonable about it - ie to compassionately observe that you were simply massively unlucky and not at fault. So, just the bare bones except with people who have shown that they deserve to be trusted.

BTW, other posters' experiences have reminded me that my mum drove a moped into me in our back garden when I was small. For a few years I had a scar on my abdomen. And she once put eardrops in my eyes

GoodOldEmmaNess · 26/02/2024 08:51

Oh, and I once encouraged my very small son to ride his bike down a too-fierce hill in the woods. He had a horrible fall and afterwards a lipoma developed on his arm, which I think was a result of an injury from that day. A lump the size of a grape. I'm not sure if it is still there. As he grew larger the lump seemed smaller. I'll have to ask him whether it still exists.

TheseLegsDefinitelyUsedToBeLonger · 26/02/2024 10:17

stealtheatingtunnocks · 26/02/2024 08:27

Ouch! I'm not sure whether to call that a good or bad track record! Were you steathily eating Tunnocks at the time...?

INeedNewShoes · 26/02/2024 11:27

Tell the truth! Honestly, this doesn’t need to be a big nasty secret. It’s very easy to see how this could happen. It’s a pure accident. If you start making up lies about how it was done you really won’t help yourself to move on.

Mynewnameis · 26/02/2024 11:33

I think you probably do need to talk about it with someone you trust. You are likely feeling a bit traumatised. But no need to tell everyone the details. Sorry it happened, ice skating is dangerous

Rhythmisadancer · 26/02/2024 11:44

Nasty accident, no wonder you're shaken up, but it could have been a lot worse.
I shut DD's finger in our front door when she was little - it was awful - like a burst little sausage. I felt physically sick every time I looked at the door for ages - every time I entered or left the house! Like you I couldn't believe I'd hurt my baby!
But it wore off, and the it has become one of the funny stories families tell each other. I promise your little boy will be fine, and he will tease you about it one day.

zingally · 26/02/2024 12:00

It was a total accident, and accidents happen. Lots of sympathy and hugs.

And for what it's worth, surgery is incredible these days. About 8 years ago now, my uncle nearly lost all his fingers on one hand in an industrial accident. They were sown back together, and honestly, you wouldn't know to look at them. He has no issues with range of movement or anything.

stealtheatingtunnocks · 26/02/2024 13:36

TheseLegsDefinitelyUsedToBeLonger · 26/02/2024 10:17

Ouch! I'm not sure whether to call that a good or bad track record! Were you steathily eating Tunnocks at the time...?

Show quote history

It’s not even all of the harms I’ve done them, those are the ones they laugh about now they are adults. I did feel awful at the time, particularly the bush as he had bad scratches on his face that I worried would scar.

it’s part of parenting. You can only do your best. And get good at eating tunnocks with one hand if you have your baby in the other .

Illpickthatup · 26/02/2024 13:46

Urgh, I really feel for you. Any parent would feel the same but it was just an accident. I'm glad he's ok.

I burnt my 5yo DSD with a curling tong months ago. It was the tiniest red spot but she cried and I felt like the worst mum ever. Not helped that she kept bringing it up "remember that time you burned me?". 😭😭😭

But, she still asks me to curl her hair so it hasn't affected affected the trust between us or put her off. I'm sure your son will be the same. You'll probably be more anxious than him the next time you go ice skating.

My DSD loves ice skating and I've taught her to pull her hands in if she falls.

BeretRaspberry · 26/02/2024 13:48

My son scalded himself with about half a cm of boiling water on Christmas Day one year. It may not sound much but it was everywhere on his chest, neck and face.

I was making him and his sister a cup of tea in their new cups they’d got for Christmas. I turned round to get them a special biscuit that was in the dining room and in that split second, my son, who had been happily playing with his older sister in the living room had wandered in to look at his new cup (which had an inch of boiling water in it). Normally, I’d have put the cups on the windowsill out of reach, like I did every other time. But, due to a combination of Christmas excitement and absolute shatteredness, I just didn’t and that’s all it took.

I didn’t think I’d ever forgive myself when it first happened. I cried on and off for a few days. Luckily, he healed really well and now, as a teenager, you can’t even tell.

It does get easier over time so be kind to yourself. You didn’t mean it and you’ll no doubt be doing everything you can to aid his recovery. These things happen.

DyslexicPoster · 26/02/2024 13:50

Lots of us have accidentally hurt our kids. All of mine fell off the bed as I baby. Dh dropped our pfb when he was 2 weeks old and prem. I still wince a bit years later but time will fade your guilt.

I really hope he makes a great recovery

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