10 Interesting Facts About Living in Japan

[rubyredknowsitall]

I've been asked to do an AMA on here a few times, but to be honest I'd never be able to be open or strong enough to answer all the potentially personal questions - some AMA I've looked through have got a bit brutal!

But I thought I'd share a few really interesting topic points about living here (if you're interested in Japan)

1. If you want an abortion - you need the fathers signature on the consent form before a doctor will proceed. In theory this should only be if you're married but in reality it's not as doctors are afraid of being sued. I whole heartedly disagree with this - my husband thinks it's terrible too. No signature - you're having a baby. I had an abortion two years ago and thankfully the man in question supported me, but I can say that requiring him to be supportive is a highly vulnerable place to be emotionally. They're also expensive and it wasn't until 2023 that medical abortion was legalized - I had to have surgery in 2022 at 6 weeks.
2. If you divorce/ sperate in Japan there is usually NO joint custody of children, so usually fathers are never allowed to see their children again. The man I stated above (Mr abortion) was in this situation, and has NEVER met his 14 year old son although he pays maintenance and has gone to court multiple times to try and get a single visitation right. It's broken him a bit I feel.
3. There's no such thing as GPs in Japan - you go to the specific doctor in question immediately. So if you have a stomach problem you go to an "internal doctor". The good point is basically no waiting times, but after leaving the UK system I still don't fully understand how conditions that require multiple specialisms get treated....
4. Before you get your provisional driving licence you have to go to a driving school (with classroom lectures), learn to drive on their internal course and pass a test. Only then are you allowed on real roads - they think we're mental! Despite their vigorous driving schools, I've not seen much better driving here........
5. House prices depreciate similar to cars - they're very much not an investment. Reason is they get torn down fairly regularly and rebuilt owing to upgraded earthquake regulations. As such houses are built very cheaply without central heating etc (winter is actual hell with many rooms in my home reaching 2 degree C last month). There's a reason uniqlo invented heattech!
6. There's no such thing as joint bank accounts - and if a husband or wife transfer money between each other, above a certain threshold is taxed. A member of the family needs to be legally registered as the 'head of the household' - so if I overpay something like state pension the refund can go directly back into my husbands bank account (or vice versa if I'm head of the household). This does also mean that when I passed my driving test and was added to my husbands driving insurance as a new driver, it cost us an extra 5p a month. :) Until I crashed the car into a fence............
7. Wives are legally able to be registered as 'dependents' on their husbands, so if they earn beneath a threshold, the husbands company will pay their pension contributions and health care contributions for them.
8. Minimum wage where I live is 931 JPY - £4.89 an hour, and state pension is equivalent to about £4,200 a year.
9. A major part of their economy is UPF - wafer ham with plastic cheese and lettuce sandwich is an example of a staple sandwich here - my healthy diet actually took a huge hit upon arrival. They eat a lot more meat and a lot less fish than I expected.
10. Ovens are not in most kitchens here - baking isn't part of the traditional Japanese diet - deep frying is. ALOT of food here is deep fried which unfortunately I can't digest.

To those wondering the good points about Japan - there's a lot! The nature is a million times more beautiful than the UK in my opinion, the country is seriously safe with actually too many police, education is outstanding and the gap between the rich and poor is much narrower. Customer service is brilliant and it's a culture with clearly defined rules that most people abide to (no eating or talking on trains or buses etc).

This last point is a bit more controversial so I'll just say it's from my personal experience but men seem much more prepared to get married and accept that women need "stability" to have children. They're much more aware of our biological clocks and don't approve of women getting picked up an put down if it's going to wind her time down. This attitude has done nothing towards the birth rate though 😂

Fascinating, OP. A visit to Japan is on my bucket list. Your comments about the food and lack of heat are however surprising.

Now perhaps I can cure my insomnia with thoughts of tranquil Japanese gardens…..

Unfortunately the food is becoming influenced by heavy Chinese investment and Chinese restaurants "pretending" to be Japanese.

Thanks for sharing OP. I'm hoping to get back to Japan over the summer!

Really? I thought it was the American influence? For example all the 7-11's etc here sell corn dogs and fried chicken. And mayonnaise in everything (USA don't use butter in sandwiches, they use mayo instead)

Thanks for such an interesting insights. Was lucky enough to visit Japan in 2019 and loved the experience, but as a tourist feel you barely scratch the surface of a culture but trying to learn more.

Very interesting, thank you!

My MIL is Japanese. She told me lots of things but the one that stands out the most is when the USA dropped the atom bombs, she was a little girl at school then, and thought all the colours from the gases were a firework display.

@rubyredknowsitall
That was a great op to wake up to!
Really interesting, thank you.
Have you got anymore interesting points to share?

@itsgoingtobeabumpyride

Those are the main ones that, having been using MN a while, I felt the most interesting for regular readers on here. 😊

Interesting topic thank you.

My Question - do you young people still sign up to the salary man work culture or us there more choice / ability / freedom to choose an alternative path? I mean working for yourself!

I have also been told that husbands cheating on wives is mostly a given and socially accepted as long as it is not spoken of, and that some husbands even buy an apartment so they can meet the mistress there. Is this remotely true?

In my experience this is completely untrue. If a partner cheats then both the partner and OM/OW can be sued for damages.
I heard this before I came too.

That and that they eat KFC at Christmas. Thanks for that myth BBC 🤣

I honestly don't know. I'm sorry.

This has been so interesting thank you

So interesting. Japan is on my bucket list for sure. I assumed much of their food would be very happy as they always look so healthy, great skin, hair and usually slim too.

Interesting regarding the meat/fish thing. That wasn't the case when I lived there, but that was 20 years ago. I guess it must have changed.

Re divorced dads not seeing their kids... I'm not sure of the legal position but I do know that some divorced dads definitely do still see their kids post divorce, so I guess it depends on the parents.

Re the lack of central heating - it's my understanding that this is routinely present in houses in Hokkaido.

The other odd thing that was true when I was there is that you can get married without actually being present....as long as you have put your stamp on a piece of paper, someone else can submit it to the local authority that registers the marriage. Is that still the case, OP?

I lived in Japan many years ago, it's customary to socialise after work with colleagues on a regular basis. My boss used to alternate between bringing his wife and his mistress out with us. To this day I have no idea if his wife knew but I knew many married Japanese women who were turning a blind eye. I don't think it's fair to say it's not spoken of tbh, it's been discussed at every lunch/dinner I've ever had with a group of Japanese women 🤷‍♀️

I lived there for a couple of years 30 years ago and loved it.there was junk food back then too! I didn’t like the way women were treated in relationships, a ‘love marriage’ was seen as a very rare thing to be treasured. Marriage seemed more transactional.

the drinking culture was wild.

went back last year for the first time last year and loved it. And found it very easy to eat well and cheaply. A hot can of tea from a vending machine on a cold morning was a treat. The trains work! The scenery is amazing.

I could live there again happily.

@MrsBennetsPoorNerves

The other odd thing that was true when I was there is that you can get married without actually being present....as long as you have put your stamp on a piece of paper, someone else can submit it to the local authority that registers the marriage. Is that still the case, OP?

Yes. I've been married here twice and it's just submitting documents to the local city office - divorce is the same process. No wedding or celebrations . You can do that on a different day if you like but it's literally a fake wedding.

Re the lack of central heating - it's my understanding that this is routinely present in houses in Hokkaido.

That's my understanding too.

@Redcar78 @BarrelOfOtters Neither my current husband nor my ex-husband have ever gone out drinking after work, neither have I (when I worked). My current husband get's home around 18:30 (usually) and has booked his paternity leave already. I wonder if that's more common in cities?

Re the "fake weddings", back in the day, it was quite fashionable for couples to hire a random white guy to act as a priest in western style white weddings, typically held in purpose-built "wedding chapels". I knew a few British and American blokes who made a tidy little income from this, typically alongside their day jobs of teaching English. No religious beliefs required!

Is this still a thing?

No way that's so interesting! I honestly don't know as everyone I know who got married just did the paperwork, and I don't know many foreigners here

Great thread. Do they still have those curry doughnuts in corner shops? They were a surprise when i visited Tokyo...

Fascinating! Japan is on my bucket list too. I love Japanese ceramics and linens.

Luckily I've never seen these non-love marriages, but I know through people that it was way more common until recently. God's honest truth I love my husband to bits, there's no other man I'd ever have a baby with.

Ah interesting. I don't remember anyone just doing the paperwork when I was there. Big weddings were quite a thing.

They were an expensive business because guests would typically be expected to give the couple a sum of money at the wedding - usually ¥10k or ¥30k, depending on their relative status. Guests would then be given a huge bag of gifts when leaving the wedding, which might include stuff like crockery, towels etc. I still have a favourite set of Tiffany coffee cups that I acquired at a colleague's wedding 25 years ago!