How to stop ruminating/ being negative?

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An example is, I bumped into a group of acquaintances in a pub recently - about 25 of them - and was trying to have a little chat to each. One particular person I approached and said hello to initially at the bar, exchanged a few pleasantries and I said we'd chat again before I left. However, I had to leave eventually and didn't get to speak to them again. Later, I was feeling guilty, but then realised they could have come over to me - yet still feel guilty.

Another example is I've arranged to meet friends for dinner next weekend, which I was looking forward to. Now, a different group have also invited me to an event same evening, which I've explained I can't attend. Instead of looking forward to the dinner, I'm wishing I hadn't been double-booked, feeling bad I had to decline, thinking why does everything happen together, etc.

I feel sometimes I have obsessive thinking on the negative. I should also say I have anxiety and doubt myself at times. Any ideas on how to change my thinking in these situations?

Sometimes if the same thoughts keep playing on my mind, I tell myself “that’s not relevant right now.”

It sounds daft but it works for me.

What will sound even dafter is my theory is that it works because I’m kidding my brain that I will give those thoughts attention later so it shuts up and then forgets about it

This is going to sound so much worse than it is intended but it really helped me to realise that I was only the centre of my own universe.

Realising that people have their own issues and are in no way focussed on what I was doing reduced the impact it had on me. Also realising that I couldn’t possibly know what was going through anyone’s head so the thought were my just my own helped.

I have always been a people pleaser and working to fix that has helped.