The path not taken...

[fishstiks]

I am married, 3 kids overall happy with my life, but more and more I dwell on the fact that I didn't pursue what I feel is the thing that makes me most happy, the thing which I would love to do as a job more than anything else, singing. I feel like it's the one thing that truly lights up my soul (sorry that's so cheesy!). I would love to be a professional classically trained singer like on the stage singing opera or part of a choral group.

I studied classical music until I was 18 but then moved out of my mums asap to escape her control over me. Looking back now I so wished someone had told me how good I was and that I had potential to do it professionally. It's the biggest regret of my life not being able to sing professionally.

As it stands I am a self employed artist/creator and while I enjoy what I do I wish I could sing instead. I am 37 and at the moment I am a SAHM to my kids, and I rather think it's too late to pursue music, and we live in the wrong part of the country for me to undertake a course (2hr train journey to London).

Have you grieved the path not taken?

Have you successfully pursued your dreams later in life?

I feel like it was what I was meant to do but I've got it all wrong and I've wasted my life.

Is two hours really that far to do something you love?

I feel you might regret not giving it another go.

My youngest is 3 months old so realistically wouldn't be able to do anything anyway until he's in school which would be five years away, and I don't know that we would be able to make it work money wise. Besides the fact that if I did train and then worked singing in an opera I would be away from my young family an awful lot. It's like the life I have now doesn't fit with me doing it as a job, you know I might feel better about it once they were much older but then I will be much older and then it will be much too late.

I suppose the only way to look at it is that the only people who succeed in a particular creative field like that are people who are so intent on success and working in that field that they will make every sacrifice possible to make it happen.

The fact is that you didn't want it enough for all those years because otherwise you would've done it.

I am sorry if that sounds harsh, it's just that there are people in every creative field who say they would love to have been in a band, written a book etc but didn't actually do it.

I am 38 and this year I have started a postgrad degree doing the thing I really want to do (definitely not singing!). You're still young. Do it!

Could you not sing in a local choir / local performing arts group / church choir / opera group / etc?