What’s a piece of advice you wish you’d learnt sooner?

[ThemysteriousH]

I’m feeling quite reflective today. Life’s quite chaotic and I want to take time to continue my growth.

There’s a scenario I’m quite proud of myself for how I’m handling it (family drama!) and shows I think that I’ve learnt my worth.
I don’t think it will be perceived that way by them, but from an outsider it does.

What’s something you wish you done sooner in life? Some advice you’d share?

The positive influences I had as guidance in my life (gran & aunt) both died before their time so I hope I’m making them proud. When they were alive I’d soon be put on the right path when fu*k!ng up!

"Not my circus not my monkey"

Comparison is the thief of joy

Friends can only give what they can give. Either accept this or walk away

I have had counselling to help navigate some issues and these issues thoughts have helped me

To liste more to my parents a lot sooner ad sadly mum died in an accident when I was 22 so never got the chance

That people will treat you the way you allow yourself to be treated, and that if you make it clear that you expect to be respected then people (the right kind of people at least) will like you more, not less. Good boundaries have come late in life to me and I'm immensely proud of the progress I've made, and even more proud of my teenage daughter who somehow has incredible boundaries, she's utterly ruthless in cutting out people who don't treat her with respect.

I literally only heard that phrase yesterday from DD

1. Trust your gut. If something doesn't feel right it rarely is in your best interests.

1. Empty vessels make the loudest noise. Tune them out.

1. Perfection is an illusion, good enough is often good enough.

1. Enjoy life, it could all be over tomorrow and you'll never again be as young and beautiful as you are today x

I remember at school a girl saying to someone if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say it at all

Then her and her 2 siblings committed suicide within a few years of each other. There's one sibling left

I was found that a bit of a head fuck

They were a Mormon family from the US

It made me realise that actually you should very much express your feelings if it's important and clearly not be forced to bottle them up inside

So basically some advice is just pure dog shit

Just there to control, coerce and make others feel like shit

What you put up with, you end up with

Don't try to be someone else to keep a partner.

I spent far too long trying to be someone I wasn't, because that's how I thought I could keep him.

I ended it and swore never again.

Met DH and showed him my true self. Together 30 years.

Whatever job you are putting off: just do it. The procrastination is almost always more stressful than the thing itself.

No matter what you do, someone won’t approve, so make sure you’re happy with all of your decisions so you’re always pleasing someone.

That is so so sad 😞

Some really good advice! Thank you!

I’ve spent so long doing what makes others happy or being “social media happy”, I regret what I’ve missed out on in life. But only I can change that.

I’m going to sound really dim, but what does this mean?

That you can only be envious of someone's entire life.

You can't wish you were Jeff Bezos unless you are comfortable with his lack of ethics. You can't wish you looked like Kate Moss in 2007 without wishing you had her coke habit and had to be with Pete Doherty. You can't wish that you left early like your colleague without accepting that they get paid less and they have to care for an elderly grandparent etc.

There are surprisingly few people that you'd want to be if you wanted every part of their life.

When I was a child I always wanted to be a grown up and my nan always told me "be a child for as long as you can because you are an adult for a really LONG time".......I wish I had listened to her!!

Get a pension when you're young. Advice from my dad I wish I'd taken!

That’s really interesting! I was thinking of stopping paying it as it seems a big chunk but I’ll carry on!

@ThemysteriousH

It means if it doesn't involve you and you are not running the circus or in charge of the monkey keep out of it!!

Being able to admit it when you are wrong and apologise (if relevant) is a sign of strength not weakness.

Don't wrestle with pigs. You'll both get dirty and the pig likes it.

But it doesn't mean that

It means dont slag people off, don't talk badly behind other peoples backs, if you have nothing nice to say about someone then don't say anything.

It doesn't mean don't stand up for yourself face to face or you should take shit from people.

Very sad though, it's the nice people who get hurt the most

Let people do what they want to do, and then you'll see where their priorities are.

Worked very well will an ex boyfriend who thought that I should have told him not to spend so much time in the pub with his mates, and told him how to spend his time. No thanks, I'd rather be with someone who chooses to spend their time with me, because they want to, not because they've been told to.

Enough is as good as a feast.

It's a line from Mary Poppins, but it relates to modern life too.